Love's Journey
by castlefan6
Summary: This story picks up an abandoned story by permission of author, Set in Season 2 after Tick, Tick Boom and outlines the Deming saga. Updated
1. Chapter 1

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 1

She knew that this was going to be hard to do. If she were being honest with herself, she regretted the whole situation and wished that she had never fallen into his bed. But she had, and now she had to go through this.

Kate Beckett walked down the hallway to apartment 504, her nerves causing weird sensations to flow through her stomach. She didn't want to do this, but she knew it had to be done.

She knocked on the door. She'd always found this door to be intimidating, which was ridiculous. But even during their first year together when she really hated him, approaching this door was a daunting task. Behind the door was her favorite author and also her shadow. In recent months after she'd taken him back after looking into her mother's case, it had become the door she came to in order to see her friend and (as much as it amused her to say) partner. For the last three months, the door meant even more to her.

Because behind the door for those last three months was the man who she had been sleeping with. Her lover. But she didn't really like that term, especially now. Because she didn't love him. That's how she got into this damn mess to begin with.

"Kate! I didn't know you were coming over tonight! Come in!" He said when he opened the door. Kate forced herself not to focus on his lips or the outline of his broad chest. She forced herself not to remember what the fingers that were now on the small of her back as he ushered her into his home could do to make her scream.

"Castle, we need to talk."

Richard Castle was not a dumb man by any means. He knew the meaning of those words and knew that almost universally they meant bad news.

"Okay. Kitchen or Living room?"

"Uh, kitchen," Kate replied, knowing that in the living room it'd be harder to put distance between them.

The two took seats in the kitchen. Castle had offered her coffee, which she declined.

"So, what's up?" Rick asked.

"We can't do this anymore," Kate said in a rush.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean this…us… this whole friends with benefits thing we started. We have to stop."

Castle scowled. "But why? I thought we were doing good."

"It was only sex, Castle, I told you that when we started. That's all I ever wanted with you, and all I would ever want. As for why? I've met someone, and I want to put my focus on a relationship with him."

Castle was silent for a long while. In all honesty, he knew he was in love with her. Had been for months now. It was why he accepted being in a Friends with Benefits type relationship in the first place. He had hoped that it would lead to something more.

Apparently, those hopes were in vain. She felt nothing. It was just sex to her. Heartbreak wasn't an unfamiliar feeling for Richard Castle. He'd been heartbroken when Kyra left, when Meredith cheated, and when Gina decided that they weren't meant to be. Now it looked like it was Kate Beckett's turn at breaking his heart.

"Look, Castle, it was a mistake to begin this at all, and now it's time to end it. It's best for the both of us, I think."

"I…Okay," Castle agreed, his head down. A mistake. The ache in his heart intensified as he dwelled on that word. From her words, it sounded like she regretted it, everything. Wasn't it bad enough she was ending it?

"Okay?" Kate repeated questioningly. She hadn't expected this to be that easy. She'd expected him to fight her or get angry or something. Not acceptance. She felt cheated. Maybe he thought it was all a mistake too. Kate didn't know why that made he feel angry, but it did.

"Okay. What did you expect, Beckett," Castle asked, his voice colder than normal, "Did you expect me to get down on my knees and beg you to stay? To beg you to have feelings for me when it's obvious you don't? I admit that it hurts, but I've known for a while that you didn't care for me as I care for you. I don't really know what else to say. So yes, it's okay. I hope whoever you've met treats you well."

"Rick…I…"

"No. Beckett, it's fine. Really. I should have seen it coming, and maybe I did. So, it'll be okay."

Kate nodded, not really knowing what to say. She didn't know why she felt so guilty. She should be happy that Castle had taken the end of their arrangement so easily. But she wasn't happy at all. She felt cold, like she was making a huge mistake.

Not knowing what to make of those feelings, Kate stood, deciding that she needed to get out quickly before she did something stupid like change her mind. She looked at Castle and said, "You'll still come into the precinct?"

Rick nodded, not looking happy. "I guess. Do you want me to?"

"I do. I…I should go. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah."

Rick walked her to the door, this time not putting his hand on the small of her back like he normally did. Kate missed the contact.

"Good night, Castle," she said as she stepped out into the hallway.

"Good night, Detective."

Kate walked to the elevator, trying to shake off the feeling that her life was about to change forever.

Castle stood watching the door as it closed behind her, wondering what would happen next. Richard Castle had always been very confident in his abilities when it came to women. At first, when Kate Beckett had turned him down after that first case, he'd taken it as a challenge to get her into his bed. He really didn't want any more than that, a single night between the sheets and he would probably have moved on. His research for Nikki Heat could have come from elsewhere, and he hadn't been that attached to the character beyond a single book in any case.

But then it changed. Specifically, it changed when she told him about how her mother died and how she had changed her entire life in order to catch the killer who had seemingly ruined not only her life but her father's as well. Her perseverance, her bravery and sheer determination to get justice for those who had suffered the same fate as her mother had changed how he looked at the beautiful detective. No longer was she a conquest. No longer was he there only for the challenge of breaking through her resistance and bedding her. No. It then became more about Kate Beckett the person. It was why he talked Esposito into getting him the case file for her mom's murder. He wanted to help.

The truth was that his association with Kate Beckett changed him. He'd always had to live life with a mask on. He portrayed the lovable man-child, the playboy, the jackass to the public. He liked that, and until he met Kate Beckett, he hadn't had a reason to look for something more. But Beckett had made him want something more. After she had told him about her mother's case, he had started to truly learn about her, and that knowledge and the time they spent together led to his deepening feelings for her.

By the time her apartment blew up in the Dunn case, he knew he was head over heels. When she had fallen into his bed, he had thought that maybe they had a chance. But the morning after she had told him that she didn't want to be associated with him romantically. All she wanted sex. She had told him that she could never be Richard Castle's girlfriend. She didn't want to be a conquest, or a bimbo in the eyes of the press. She said she would never want to be seen in public with him outside of the professional aspect of her job.

Like everything else, he had accepted it and saw it as a challenge.

Now it was all over and he didn't know what to do next. He liked going to the precinct and helping to solve murders. It made him feel useful for the first time in his life.

But was it a good idea to keep going if he had to see and work with her each day? Could he bury his feelings for her now that he knew about her feelings or lack thereof? It didn't sound like a good idea, really. In fact, it seemed like a really bad idea.

Castle knew that he would have to think long and hard on whether he could stand being Kate Beckett's partner now that he knew she didn't love him. Could he stand by while she fell in love with another man? Could he turn off his feelings and make it all about the job? Whatever he decided, he knew that in the end, he was done chasing her.

It was time for him to move on.


	2. Chapter 2

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

a.n. A few things before we continue. First, Ellie Monroe did not happen in this story. I.e. Castle didn't sleep with her.

Second, I know Kate comes across as unlikable to a lot of you. But even as far into the series as The Limey, Kate is denying her feelings. At the end of season two she was even worse, which is fine. It's okay to be confused by intimate feelings. And sometimes that confusion hurts others.

Chapter 2

oooXXXooo

Well that was a mistake, Castle thought after leaving the precinct. He should have known that the "man" that Kate had decided to date was none other than the handsome Tom Deming from robbery. They were working a case together, and Castle had seen the chemistry between the two but hadn't really thought that much about it until it had come back to bite him in the ass. It had been pretty painful to tell Deming that there was nothing going on between the two of them. If he'd asked twenty-four hours before, Castle could have told him something completely different. But no.

He had decided, against his instincts, to spend the day at the precinct. Somehow, Deming had infiltrated the Homicide team, and that had led Kate to treating Castle as the proverbial third (or in this case fifth) wheel. Hell, things like taking part in the interrogation of suspects had suddenly become verboten with the inclusion of Deming. It was almost like he didn't even exist any longer to Beckett. It sickened him, and not just because of her termination of their relationship. It sickened him because he thought she had at least a modicum of respect for what he, Castle, brought to her team.

Apparently, he was wrong about that.

The good news, Castle thought, was that he could now leave the precinct without hurting her feelings. He hadn't wanted to hurt her, even if she had hurt him. He didn't blame her. It wasn't her fault that she didn't return his feelings. In fact, it was likely his fault. He had been a jackass for the first year he had known her, even after he had started to want her for more than a single night. It had taken her letting him back after he had looked into her mother's case for him to start to show her other sides of himself. Castle could see how those initial impressions, along with his public persona could turn her away from developing true feelings for him.

So, no, he didn't blame her for ending their arrangement. He shouldn't have become so attached when he knew that it was unlikely for her to ever want him as he wanted her. He should have been more realistic.

But he did blame her for pushing him away after specifically asking him to continue shadowing her. That, he was pissed about. If she really wanted him around for things other than his ability to be the class clown, she wouldn't have pushed him away from her professional arena so thoroughly after the inclusion of Tom Deming. It was obvious to Castle now that she really didn't need him.

The question was what to do now. He'd picked up his blazer from the precinct, and walked out in the middle of a case, so he knew that at least the boys and Montgomery would notice his absence after a while. He doubted that Kate would notice until the case was over and she was without the constant company of her new love interest. If he really was going to leave for good, he would have to at least say goodbye to the boys and the captain, they deserved that much.

Making his decision, he headed back to the loft to think about his next move.

oooXXXooo

Kate looked up when she heard the elevator ding. She needed to talk to Castle. She knew that she had hurt his feelings the day before when she had focused so much of her attention on Tom Deming. She didn't know what had come over her, really. Something about the handsome detective made her feel like a teenager again, and she loved the feeling. She had been attracted to Castle, but she knew that nothing beyond the physical could ever happen with the famous author. Tom was different. He was a cop, like her. He would be able to understand her quest for justice, her dedication to the job, and still be able to talk to her without making a fool of himself. He had asked her out, and she was anxious to get to know him.

That didn't mean she didn't feel bad about how, in her unusual show of giddiness for the handsome detective, she had treated Castle.

She saw Castle enter the bullpen, and head for her desk. He didn't have coffee with him. That was the first clue that something was wrong. Even the day before, after having basically broken up with him, he had brought her coffee. But not today.

"Good morning, detective," Castle greeted.

"Good morning, Castle," Kate answered cautiously.

"Can we talk? In private?"

Kate nodded and led him into the breakroom, which was thankfully empty. Kate closed the door behind them then turned to look at Castle. He seemed nervous, which was an expression she hadn't ever seen on the author before. Something was definitely going on.

"I wanted to thank you."

"Oh? What for?" Kate asked, confused.

"For allowing me to shadow you these last two years. I've had so many great experiences, and I'll never forget them. Honestly, I can say that the last two years have been two of the most interesting of my entire life. I've learned some great things that have made me a better writer, I've met some extraordinary people and made some great friends. So, I just wanted to thank you. I know I didn't exactly give you a choice at the beginning, but I know you could have talked the captain into getting rid of me ages ago if you had really wanted to. So, thank you."

"Castle, what's going on? I mean you're welcome, but where did this come from?"

"Yesterday was my last day as your shadow."

Kate looked at him, eyes wide, her hand covering her mouth as she gasped in shock. She took a step back from him, not having expected him to end their partnership. Oh, she had expected it, but she had thought it would have come two days before when she had ended their arrangement. She had expected to either end it herself, or more likely, have him end it. She'd been prepared. But then he had said he would continue to follow her, and she had thought that they could work their way back into something normal. But apparently, she had been wrong.

"Why?" She finally got out.

Castle tilted his head to the side. "Kate…You know that I have feelings for you, right?"

"Castle…"

"No. It's okay. I know you don't return those feelings. That's okay. But…for the last ten years since Meredith cheated on me and we divorced, I've been living a half-life. I've spent my time splitting my time between being the cocky playboy author and the loving father. I married Gina simply because she wanted it and it was good for book sales." Castle shook his head in disbelief. "Before I met you, I was in a rut. I was doing things simply for the sake of doing things. I had no direction, no reason to be besides Alexis.

"Everything changed when I met you. It took a few months, but once I realized I felt something for you other than pure lust, I started to change. I realized that I wanted my life to matter, I wanted to do something that could make my life extraordinary. For the last year or so, I wanted to figure that out with you by my side. I admit that I've fallen in love with you. I was foolish to think that simply having sex with you would work towards my dream of having a future with you, and I think we can both say that it was a mistake for us to ever be together in that way, at least I think so now. I got too attached to you by going that route.

"That's why it hurt so much when you broke it off. But I can't fault you for wanting something more. Further, I know why you feel that you could never be with me in a romantic sense.

"To answer your question, as for why I'm leaving? I need to find some direction in my life. Now that I know that you're not really in my future, I need to move on. I thought that maybe I could continue to follow you and help here at the precinct, but after yesterday, I realized that it would hurt too much. I need to create space between us so that I can get over my feelings, and so that I can find something to do with my life. All I've ever done is write fiction. Whatever I do next, I want it to be something special, something that changes the world or at least a little part of it."

Castle smiled at her. "I'm sorry I won't be around to continue our partnership. I hope that I've at least made some impact in the last two years, helped in some way. But I also know that you're the best detective the NYPD has, and that you held that title long before you met me."

Kate didn't know what to think. Part of her was so…so angry at him. She had come to rely on him, not only as a fresh pair of eyes and out of the box theories, but also as a break from the macabre every day ins and outs of working homicide.

But she also understood. She had known that he had grown attached to her. It had made breaking up their arrangement even harder, but all the more necessary.

"I'll miss you," she said, finally. Fighting him on this, or getting angry wouldn't do any good. It wouldn't change her feelings or his, and in the end, it would only cause bad feelings where none needed to exist.

Castle stepped forward and hugged her. "I'll miss you too. I promise that I won't be too much of a stranger, though it might be some time before I'll see you in person. You're still my friend, Kate, and I still have friends here at the 12th that I'm not planning on abandoning. I'll see you around. Be happy, Kate Beckett."

With that he stepped back and walked out of the breakroom, heading for the captain's office to apparently say goodbye to Montgomery.

Kate wiped away the tears that had traitorously slipped out of her eyes. She would miss Castle. No matter how much of a pain in the ass he had been, she considered him one of her best friends.

The feeling of emptiness now that she knew Castle was leaving hit her right in the chest, and she buried a sob. She quickly made her way to the woman's bathroom, hoping that it was empty. After locking herself into a stall, she let the tears fall down freely.

Castle was gone, and it was her fault. Maybe she had made a mistake. If only she hadn't ended their relationship. If only she had tried harder or changed something. If only…


	3. Chapter 3

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 3

It took Castle two weeks and a lot of brain storming to decide what he would do next. That wasn't true though. There had been a project he had wanted to tackle his whole life but hadn't had the courage. It had taken him two weeks to decide that it was finally time and to plan.

The first thing he had to do was give Nikki Heat her ending. The fact was that Castle's contracts with Black Pawn always had an out clause, so that if he got sick of a character mid-way through he could move on. It was the one deal breaker he had always had and would always insist upon. That allowed him to skip out on the last two Nikki Heat novels if he had a suitable idea to replace them. And he did.

Once he decided upon his new path, he had a lot of work to do. First, he alerted Gina that he would be taking the out clause on his contract, and that he had a new set of characters that he would brief her on in the coming weeks after he finished the second and final Nikki Heat novel. Then he talked to Alexis and his mother. That was the hard part.

"Dad are you sure about this?" Alexis asked.

"I am pumpkin. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. You know my history, and I think it's time to do something about it. It'll be different, and meaningful, and that's what I need right now."

"What will this mean for us, Richard?" his mother asked.

"Once I finish this last Nikki book, I'll need to start doing research for the new book. I'll be out a lot. For that I'm sorry. Alexis, this will affect you the most. But you were planning on going to that summer camp anyways, and I should be done with most of my research by the time you're back in the city and getting ready to go back to school."

He knew that what he was proposing would scare his mother the most, so he turned to her. "I need to do this. You know better than anyone how that part of my life has continued to haunt me. Maybe if I do this I can move on from it. Besides, you helped me when I was eleven years old. By doing this maybe I can focus more attention on the problem."

Martha stood up and put her hand on her son's cheek, "You're a good boy, Richard. I've always been so proud of you." She sat back down on the sofa across from him. "What about Beckett?"

Castle sighed. "What about her? Whatever we had is over, and she's moving on with someone else. While I forgive her and all that, she said some pretty hurtful things when she ended it. I guess it was kind of a wakeup call. It's time for me to move on. But, I can't do that like I would have two years ago, it's time for me to do something more meaningful in my life. I've changed. Simply moving on to the next flashy character and continuing with the playboy lifestyle just isn't enough for me anymore. It's time to grow up."

Richard Castle had always found psychology interesting, especially when the person being analyzed wasn't him. But he knew that he was a psychologist's dream patient, not that he'd ever gone to therapy (even if it might have been a good idea). If a doctor had ever had the chance to ask him questions, the event that had the biggest impact on his personality as an adult happened to him when he was a child.

Both of his parents had died when he was two years old. By age four he'd been in three foster homes and had had enough. It seemed that no matter what 'family' he was placed with abused and/or neglected him. So, when the third family seemed to do the same, he ran for it. That led to almost seven years on the streets. He'd grown up very fast. He'd had to survive.

Those first few weeks had been hell. He was so hungry and so cold, and so alone. To this day, he suspected that his need to be constantly around people and the center of attention came from his early childhood when he was almost always alone.

A lot happened to him in those seven years, most of it bad. But he survived, mostly because when he needed it most, Martha Rodgers had come to help him. She'd taken him in when he was eleven and had literally saved his life. It had taken most of his teenage years to heal himself and become someone who could function in society without becoming a recluse. The one thing that helped, and that Martha had helped him discover, was his writing. He could remember Martha's words easily,

"We all have demons, Richard. Your goal should be finding a way to rid yourself of those demons, a way to move on and to live. I've always found that doing something is the best solution. For me it's acting. Maybe you could find something creative to do, and that could help. Maybe write a story."

And he had. He found that creating a world and characters was settling and healing. It allowed him to escape his memories and nightmares. He found that if he dreamed about his stories it helped him sleep, which was something he often had a problem with.

He'd always used his writing then on to escape the demons of his past. That's not to say he wasn't a trouble maker when he wasn't writing or studying. He'd caused Martha a lot of problems over the years, culminating in the stealing of a police horse while streaking through Central Park. He'd been caught, of course. And that time, Martha had refused to bail him out. It was the wakeup call he had needed. The judge, a family friend of Martha's, had let him off with community service, but had warned him that any further infractions would lead to jail time.

By the time he had met Meredith, he'd finished his High School education and had started a degree in English literature. It had taken a lot of work to make up for seven years of no education at all, but he'd worked hard, and had managed to get his GED and get into SUNY, which made Martha happy. He'd dated Meredith for a little over a year when she told him he was pregnant. At twenty-two years old, he was going to be a father, something he had no idea how to be.

He'd always wanted a family, but never really thought it would happen. He'd never really dated until he found Kyra his first semester of college, but she'd left after dating for only a few months. He'd met Meredith and started to date her, though it wasn't that serious for him; he knew he didn't love her. But he wanted to provide a family for his child, so he had asked Meredith to marry him, and she'd said yes. Alexis had come along six weeks into his junior year of college, and despite his fear of fatherhood, he was in love from the moment the nurse placed her tiny form into his arms.

Those first few months of marriage and raising a child together weren't what he thought it would be. They weren't really a family. Meredith, a year younger than him, was a struggling actress trying to break into Broadway, and was much more interested in her career than raising a child or being a wife, leaving him to focus on Alexis and his own schooling.

When Alexis was eight months old, Rick found Meredith cheating on him with a stage director of a play she was auditioning for. The funny part, if there was one, was that she didn't even get the part in the end. The divorce followed not long after that, and Rick was forced to drop out of school to focus on raising Alexis on his own. Luckily, Meredith didn't fight him on custody. With the knowledge that she'd cheated on him, she didn't even ask for alimony, which was good since Rick was only working part time at the New York Public Library and was always broke.

A few hard months later, where Rick relied much more on Martha than he liked, his first novel was finally published, and the money problems were no more.

oooXXXooo

Rick shook his head, shaking away his thoughts. "Anyways, I need to do some work. Alexis, you have a week before camp starts, let's spend some time together tomorrow and the next if that's okay?"

"Sure, daddy."

He hugged both his girls then went into his office. He knew that the coming months would be hard for him. The character he was going to write once Nikki was done was personal for him, and it was something he had always shied away from.

But in the end, it was time for him to go forth with this idea. Her death, after all, was the entire reason why he wrote murder mysteries in the first place.


	4. Chapter 4

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 4

oooXXXooo

"Are you sure about this Richard?" Gina asked Rick over the phone a few nights later.

"I am, Gina. Look, I didn't know going into the Nikki Heat novel if I could make it a series, I had nothing planned beyond that first novel, and frankly I didn't plan anything beyond novel number two either. It has been simple redoing the outline to make it more suitable for a finale instead of just another novel in a series. Besides, I have a great idea for what happens next for me, and I'll be able to share a summary and an outline with you next week. I want to finish Nikki and I'm on a roll here, so it shouldn't take too long."

"Look. Rick. I know that something happened between you and your muse. Is it so serious that you must scrap a multi-million-dollar contract, and the opportunity for so much more? This series could go for twenty novels! I'm talking a hundred million or more over the next decade or so."

Castle sighed. This was why he and Gina didn't work out as a couple. He didn't care about the money. He knew that he had money and that was enough. More than enough really. Growing up feeding yourself out of dumpsters, and even later in life only having enough to feed your family, teaches you that money, while nice, isn't everything.

"It isn't about the money, Gina, you know that. I need inspiration and the characters need to hold my attention. All Nikki will bring me, if I were to continue past the second novel would be pain and grief. I should have known not to get so attached to a muse, but it isn't the first time and I doubt it will be the last. The lesson I've learned over the last decade is that you just need to move on. Nikki is no longer the character I'm interested in pursuing, no matter how lucrative she might be."

There was silence on the other end of the line for several moments, then Gina replied, "Okay, Rick. Send along the rest of the novel and I'll alert the brass here that you're taking the out clause. Send along your next idea ASAP so that we know that you are actually planning on giving us something."

"Sure thing, Gina." Rick pressed the end key and slumped back into his office chair. The last three days had been grueling. He'd spent as much time as he could with Alexis and had spent the rest of his time writing. He'd never written so fast in his entire life.

He would have thought with the heartbreak that had caused this sudden change in his plans, that he would have procrastinated on writing the ending to the Nikki Heat series, but he wasn't. The words flowed through him as he crafted an ending for Nikki and Rook, an ending that he felt suitable for a pair of characters that never had their day in the sun. If dreams were reality, Nikki and Rook would have been Castle characters for many years to come, but as he had told Gina, there was nothing there for him anymore. Despite how easy the words came to him, there was just no future for the characters beyond the ending he was currently crafting. Continuing would just hurt him and the quality of his work, which he would not ever agree to, no matter how much money there was involved.

Castle leaned forward and brought up the Word document that held the last few chapters of Lasting Heat, the second and final Nikki Heat book. His plans for the ending weren't as dramatic as the ending of the Derrick Storm novels. He wasn't going to kill off Nikki or Rook, that wouldn't work, because after only two novels, who would really care? Not many readers form that much of an attachment to a character in just one novel.

So, no, death was off the table. No, his plans for Nikki included advancement to a federal position that would lead to bigger and brighter things. For Rook, it meant less interaction with Nikki, but in return for that, Castle had allowed their relationship to become official even without their professional interactions. The ending was happy and vague enough that the readers could imagine the future in their own way, just like a good story without an epilogue should.

The writing was cathartic for Richard Castle. While the ending was happy for his characters, for him it was allowing him to put his time with Kate Beckett to rest. He would always remember her fondly, and would take time to get over his feelings, but for him, the end of Nikki was also the end of any hope for his relationship with Detective Kate Beckett.

oooXXXooo

June 23rd, 2010

Nikki has been completed, and I've decided to start my writing diary again, something that I haven't done since my first novel was published. After a while I stopped because it just seemed too meta to me. After all it was writing about writing.

But it always allowed me to flesh out new ideas quicker than trying to outline. Outlining for a lot of writers is a first step, for me it is just a step in between the idea stage and the actual writing stage. Writing in this form allows me to just scribble ideas, plot points, and whatnot without actual form. I can even lecture my invisible audience as I just did, and I won't feel foolish. After all, no one will ever read this but me, so I can write whatever I feel will help me write better in between these pages and no one can stop me.

Now that Nikki has been completed and sent to Gina, I'm focusing on my next project. It's been a month of constant writing and researching, and I have a ton of ideas.

The plot is set around a homeless boy who runs away from abusive parents. At first, I debated whether to base the male character on myself, since the story is really about HER, but I decided that I should stick with what I know.

As I spent almost seven years homeless, the research I'm doing is a bit different than normal. I don't have to be 'on location' so to speak to learn the environment of my characters. Getting over my mental problems, and basing the male character on myself, should allow the research to be even easier.

The main problem I'm having so far is names. I've decided to go outside the norms when it comes to names, or at least I want to. There is a reason outside of title possibilities that I chose Nikki Heat as a character name. It's uncommon and interesting. Naming a character Richard or Bob would be a disgrace to writers everywhere.

The question is, then, what should the male character be named? I've come up with some ideas and discarded others. The good news is the block on my naming ideas hasn't precluded getting other things for this novel out of the way. I've begun a brief outline and summary that has been sent to Gina, simply to give her an idea of what is coming her way. If Black Pawn doesn't want to publish it, then so be it. While it has little to do with a main character who solves crimes, it is a murder mystery, and that is good enough to fit into my 'genre'. God forbid I write something that isn't about dead people. No, that might signal the end of the world or something else dramatic and unwelcome.

I keep coming back to names. What should the names be? There are a couple that I like a lot. Damien or Orion. Orion, while not totally uncommon, is a complex name that signifies depth. Damien is a tough name, which would also fit with the character I want to portray. I also like Jackson a lot, but not sure what could be paired with it. Hey! I could always go the alliteration route like JK Rowling did. Minerva McGonagall? Severus Snape? Florean Fortescue? What was that woman thinking? Oh, right! She was thinking coming up with first and last names that are fake but sound real is damn hard.

I refuse to get into a rant about Harry Potter in a diary entry to myself. I refuse. Dammit.

I will return to this dairy in a few days. I'm sure there will be some scribbles between now and then.

oooXXXooo

Rick put his pen down and stood from his desk. The naming problem was something he had to work out as it was precluding him from thinking about much else. Oh, he still jotted down ideas, and even wrote out some scenes that he wanted to include later in the novel, but he kept coming back to names.

First there was the character based on himself. He wanted the character to be different enough that it wouldn't be obvious, and so he could distance himself from the character emotionally to not cause too many problems. That and he'd always hated his name. Richard Smith. Seriously? He wasn't even sure it was his real name. That's why when Martha had completed the adoption papers, he'd taken Rodgers as his last name. Then he'd changed it to Castle when he'd been published for the first time. He'd chosen Castle because Castles were strong, and he had always hoped to be as strong as possible. The character for his new novel had to be named to give the readers a sense of strength and courage while also having underlying vulnerabilities. A man who always wore a mask to disguise his true self.

The female character was easier to name. Castle had decided that her name would be Raven. She didn't have a last name, and he would never give her one. The young woman he was basing the character on had never had a last name, or at least hadn't known it or told him.

Castle sighed. He knew that this was going to be hard. He'd been working on this new project for a couple weeks now full time, and every time he thought about Raven's inspiration he felt a pang in his stomach and an almost overwhelming feeling of grief.

He'd never gotten over her murder. But it was time to try.


	5. Chapter 5

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 5

oooXXXooo

Kate Beckett fell back onto the bed, breathing heavily. That had been good. She looked over at her companion who had just fallen beside her and grinned at him. "Wow," they said at the same time. Kate turned and looked up at the unfamiliar ceiling. Now that they'd been dating for a month or so, Kate and Tom had taken their relationship to the next level.

It had been a good month, mostly. She enjoyed being with Tom, he was a nice guy and they had many common topics to discuss, leaving no awkward silences during their talks. They'd been going out a few times a week, just getting to know each other. Kate hadn't wanted to just jump into his bed, so they had taken it slow. Truth be told, she could tell that he had been a little impatient with her, but she had ignored his subtle hints. She had just left a relationship where it had been all about sex, she didn't need or want to do that again.

Despite the good progress of her relationship with Deming, the rest of the month had been more emotional than she had expected it to be. She missed Castle, and that surprised her. For almost two years she had almost fervently wanted the writer out of her professional life. Oh, he was useful on some of their cases, and had done a lot for her, but more often he was just an annoying man child who got in her way. Her feelings for him were at best confused.

But she missed him. She'd told him after the Coonan case that she had come to rely on having him around to "pull her pigtails", but she also thought that it wouldn't be too hard to continue without him.

Apparently, she was wrong.

Sighing at these conflicting thoughts, Kate rolled over and snuggled up to the warm detective at her side. Kate pushed her concerns away and shut her eyes, allowing the calm embrace of sleep to envelop her.

oooXXXooo

Richard Castle sat silently in the New York Public Library watching as patrons flitted in between the giant stacks of old and new tomes. The library was his favorite place in the entire world. He'd spent a lot of time at the infamous home of books in New York city as a child. Whenever he was depressed his next stop would be the library where he would spend countless hours learning to his heart's content. It was within these walls that he first learned to read, and later in life, to write creatively.

He could clearly remember his first time here. He'd been on the streets for a few weeks and was slowly starving to death. No four-year-old boy can survive long on the streets by himself. The luckiest day in his life was when he had met a young woman named Rae. To this day, he didn't know if it was her real name or if it was something she had chosen for herself.

Meeting Rae changed everything for young Richard Smith. He could remember the meeting as if it had just happened.

—Flashback—

Young Rick looked hopefully at the dumpster behind the busy Italian restaurant. He had learned very quickly that if he wanted to find any food at all, he was better off looking in dumpsters than trying to beg food from anyone else on the streets. He'd found that he was luckiest when he waited until late evening before plundering dumpsters near local restaurants. The problem was that there were apparently a lot of people like him and they just didn't want to share their spoils, and that had left him to slink away empty handed many times over the last couple of weeks since he had left his new 'family.'

He just hoped that he would get lucky tonight. He'd had to go without the previous day as he'd been chased away from several different opportunities for food either by other street dwellers or by restaurant employees not wanting to have 'riffraff' outside their establishments.

He was just about to struggle his way over the top of the ridiculously high dumpster walls when he heard a noise coming from inside the dumpster. Not thinking anything of it, after all rats often took up their places in the garbage bins of New York City, Rick kept climbing. Just as he reached the top, something popped out of the dumpster and startled him so badly he fell backwards, landing hard on his backside and twisting his wrist painfully.

Trying not to cry, he looked up at whatever had come out of the dumpster. It was a girl.

"Who are you?" The girl asked accusingly.

"I-I'm Rick," he said in a small voice, the pain from his fall making his eyes water.

"And what are you here for?" She asked.

"I…I'm hungry," he replied.

"Well why didn't you say so?" She asked snidely, jumping down from the top of the dumpster. Rick saw that she was much older than him, maybe in her early teens. Her clothing was dirty and didn't fit all that well. Her pants were much too tight, and her shirt was much too big. Her shoes had holes in them.

"My name is Rae. I suppose it's good to meet you. I'll save you some time, there's nothing left in this dumpster." With that she turned to leave.

It was then that the tears that Rick had bravely been holding back started to fall. He was so hungry. He just wanted some food. Anything would really do. His arm hurt. He just wanted to go home.

But he didn't have a home.

Rick slid down the wall opposite the dumpster, curled his little arms around his knees and pulled them into his chest, sobbing quietly.

He didn't know how much time passed, when he felt a small hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Kid, don't cry. It's okay, I promise."

Rick looked up and found Rae sitting next to him, smiling slightly. "But…"

"But nothing. I'm going to tell you a secret. If you're going to survive out here on your own, you can't be weak. The weak get beaten and die quickly. So, if you're going to live, you must buck up and keep on keeping' on, if you know what I mean."

She stood up, looking like she was debating something internally. With a slight nod she said, "now come on. Get up, and we'll see about getting you some food and getting you cleaned up."

—End Flashback—

That meeting and the hours after changed his life forever. Richard knew that if Rae hadn't taken him under her wing he would have died within a few days for sure. He had never found out what had changed her mind. She had seemed so uninterested in him at first, but something about his reaction had softened her, and had led to her literally saving his life.

Rick looked around the library and sighed. Rae had been the one to bring him to the library for the first time. It had been after she'd shown him her "stash" as she'd called it. Her collection of clothes, books and all manner of things were in an abandoned building in lower Manhattan. The luckiest thing about the place was that it still had running water. For whatever reason the city hadn't shut the water service down and there was always some cold water running through the pipes. Rae had discovered the building, which was a small collection of apartments, by accident and had managed to carve out a small space for herself along with a few other homeless people. It was in that building that Rick learned the ways of the street and more importantly, where he had made his first real friend.

Rae had meant everything to him, and it had nearly killed him emotionally when she had been taken away from him. When he was ten years old, almost eleven, he and Rea had been scouting for more food to stock up their rations when they'd been ambushed by five gang members. The men had quickly subdued both and had taken them to their boss. Rick had watched helplessly as Rae was raped and killed in front him. He'd been beaten and left for dead in a gutter outside an abandoned warehouse. It had been a long time since he had wished for death, but he had that night. Not only was he hurt, but he'd watched his only friend die brutally in front of him.

He'd only lived because he'd been found by none other than Martha Rodgers. He'd forever be grateful to the woman who had found him, taken him to the hospital, then offered him a home. It had taken him three years to get past Rae's death. Those years were hard. He'd had to learn to live as a normal person, someone with a home and responsibilities, which was something he'd never had to do before.

Castle stood from his seat and looked around. He had a plan. It was something he had always wanted to do, and with this new writing project, it was time to do it.

oooXXXooo

June 25, 2010

I've always wanted to do something different with my writing but have never had the courage. I've always written in third person, usually third person multiple, though Derrick was written in third person limited.

With this new project, I've decided to do two different things that I've never done before. The perspective will be first person peripheral, told from the perspective of the male character, who is named Darius. The last name is still a tossup, but I won't get into that.

The second thing I want to try to do is write the story using a technique called "Unreliable Narrator". By using this I'll be able to create an ending twist that should shock the readers. Darius will tell the story of the main character, Raven, as if what happens at the end didn't happen. I've always admired Agatha Christie, despite critiques of her works that use this technique. My favorite example of this is a book by Dean Koontz titled Odd Thomas. While popular fiction, it is a prime example of what I want to do with this new project.

Now that I've at least got the naming down for the two main characters, I've started to fully outline the first few chapters. I've also changed the story suitably from real life. Unlike Nikki, the characters in this new project are going to be distanced from those they are based on. The events will also be significantly different. I had originally planned to write this as a "based on a true story" type thing, but I just can't do it. I've tried writing the ending several times throughout the years, but I just can't.

However, the premise remains the same. Darius, age six, runs away from his abusive, drug addicted parents, and nearly dies on the streets before getting taken in by a fellow street dweller named Raven, age fifteen. From there it will branch off from reality as the two go on an adventure while being chased by Raven's abusive father who had put her on the street as a working girl. She had run away, not wanting anything to do with that life.

Obviously, the thing that this lacks is romance, something that all my previous series have had. That obviously can't happen here, unless I change the age of Darius, which I'm not sure about. I'll have to make that decision quickly.

On one side of that argument is that it would add another dimension to the story, and an anchor that will make the audience more invested in the characters. It will also make it more adult, which would go with my style of writing. This is an adult story, not a teen fiction, despite the ages of the characters. Bad things will happen to both characters. The story follows them through their struggles to survive on the streets of New York City, with everything that goes along with it.

On the other hand, taking romance out of it keeps it closer to reality, and creates new struggles for Darius, who is so young, as I was when I started out. Distancing myself further from that character by making him much older is something I'm not sure is a good idea or not.

Finally, outside of my writing, I've decided to start another project that will be promoted by the book when it comes out. I've always wanted to do something about the homeless problem in this city. Alexis and I volunteer often at soup kitchens and shelters, and I always donate to several charities, so it isn't as if I've done nothing on that front. However, I want to do more. As for what, I have some ideas, but I still need to think about it. Whether it becomes as simple as an investment in money, or if I do something more intensive, remains to be seen.


	6. Chapter 6

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 6

"Richard, Darling, I'm home!" he heard Martha call from where he sat in his office.

"In the office, Mother," he called out, then sat his laptop aside. He'd begun to write the story now, and was about three chapters in. He had bits and pieces written that could be inserted in their appropriate places later in the story. It was going well, but he knew that eventually he would hit a road block of some sort.

Surprisingly, his emotions weren't getting to him. The story he was writing was so different from what he went through, it didn't really affect him the way he thought it might. Which was good news, as his other project wasn't going nearly as well. It turned out that he had no idea about how to go about helping solve the "homeless" problem. After researching ideas for the last week, he realized that thinking about his goal in such a generalized manner was counter-productive. There was just no way he could even consider doing anything if he had such lofty goals. It would just lead to disappointment and frustration.

So, he had set his sights a little lower. It seemed so cliché to simply form a new charity, but that was what he had settled on doing. He could then use that charity to make a dent in the overall issue, perhaps even revolutionize the way the issue was handled. It was a daunting task, but he thought that he could do it.

"How's the writing going, kiddo?" His mother asked from the doorway.

Castle looked up after finishing his last sentence. "Good. How was the opera?"

"Oh, it was fabulous, as usual."

"I'm surprised you're home so early."

"Well, I can't burn the midnight oil every day now, can I?"

"It never stopped you before," Rick answered with a smirk, then looked back down at his laptop and saved his work.

"Now, really, Richard," Martha huffed. "You, on the other hand, would do well to leave the house every so often. You're looking a little pallid."

"I've been busy, Mother."

"Don't be petulant. I'm worried about you, Richard. You've shut yourself in ever since that detective of yours kicked you to the curb. It isn't healthy."

Oh, she had to mention Beckett, Richard fumed. He'd been doing okay. Well, not okay, really, but okay enough. He'd buried himself in his work to forget about Kate Beckett, and here was his own Mother bringing her up.

"Thanks, mother," he replied, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. It wouldn't do to shout at her just because he was still heartbroken.

Martha narrowed her eyes, but let it go. Her son, adopted though he may be, had always been stubborn. When she had found him that cold day, lying in the gutter, she knew she had to do something. She had come from a well-to-do family and had the money, so she had taken him to the hospital and paid for his treatment. He'd been in the hospital for months recuperating. During that time, she could have moved on, but she hadn't. Something stuck with her that day, and she wanted to do more. When she found out that young Richard didn't have anywhere else to go but back into the foster system, she, with the help of some friends in high places, adopted him. She never regretted that choice. She herself was incapable of having children for whatever reason, so Richard was the only son she would ever have, and she cherished him.

It hurt her to know that her baby was heartbroken. She couldn't quite understand what had happened, as she was sure that Kate Beckett loved her son. For whatever reason, the brunette detective was denying her own feelings, and had hurt Rick terribly. It made Martha very angry at the young woman, but she also knew that matters of the heart are most often clouded and confusing. She just hoped the couple could work it out eventually, as she could see that despite keeping himself busy, Richard wasn't coping very well, even if he didn't yet realize it.

"Why don't you call Alexis and see how she's doing. It will at least give you a break." With that Martha exited stage left and made her way upstairs to her room. When she had divorced from her second husband, she'd been wiped out financially, and Richard had taken her in. She would always be grateful for that, and she loved being with her son and granddaughter. She loved her family very much, and she would do anything to see them happy.

Maybe it was time for her to talk to Kate Beckett and find out what the hell had happened.

oooXXXooo

Kate Beckett walked into the café and froze. Sitting not twenty feet from her was Richard Castle. She'd been stopping by to get her coffee fix, and had just wanted to get in and out, but seeing her former lover/partner almost had her sprinting for the door. What stopped her was seeing the attractive brunette sitting across from her author. She could see that Rick and the woman were comfortable in each other's company, though it didn't look like they knew each other that well.

It was seeing him with another woman that was causing her problems. She knew it was irrational. She had no claim to him any longer. She had pushed him away, broken up with him, and shattered their relationship. She still didn't know how she felt about Castle, but if the raging jealousy that was flowing through her was any indication, she felt something more for him than she thought.

Kate walked back out of the café, confused and suddenly much less interested in coffee.

oooXXXooo

June 30, 2010

The amazing thing about all this is how easy it has been to write. I've never written this fast before in my entire life. I think that I'm using it as an escape from feeling sorry for myself, but whatever works. Whenever I do step away from my laptop, all I can think about is how much I miss Kate.

Damn her anyways.

Maybe Mother was right. Maybe it is time to get out of the house again. Oh, I'm not ready to date or anything like that, but getting out and doing something different might be good for me. Maybe.

I did get out today, but it was for business. I met with Jessica Hawthorne, a director from the United Way. She, while not running the charity, has a very good grasp of how a charity is set up and run. I'm trying to hire her away from The United Way to run the charity I've decided to set up.

I've gone this direction for two reasons. First, I don't have the experience to run the charity itself. I just don't. But I can raise money, and that will be a very important part. I'm putting up the starting funds for it and will be starting to fundraise for it in the next few months once all the legalities are settled. I want Ms. Hawthorne to then take that money and use it to start chipping away at the homeless problem of New York City.

I've given her some ideas for what I want to do. Creating something like a super-shelter where we give people places to live, not just stay; creating jobs for these people, allowing them an education so that they can eventually become independent from the organization I'm creating, and a few other ideas.

Obviously, this will be small scale to begin with, and there are many details to be worked out, but I'm confident that it can be done. As it is something I know I can do, I'll be focusing on bringing in cash for the organization.

I've finished seven chapters of the book. It's going well, and I've decided on the ending. The twist is going to be good but will take this way beyond what really happened. As I've said before, distancing myself from the story is good for me.

I've done some research to get the ending just right. I must really pay attention to how I write certain scenes as it will affect the whole thing in the end. The hardest part is making sure the interactions between the two main characters seem to be one way when it's really something completely different. It's fun yet terribly difficult. Frankly, while I'm writing faster than ever, the content is the hardest thing I've ever put together. I just hope that I'm up to the task.

And no, I'm not going to write down the twist for the story. Even in my own diary I must be mysterious.

Until next time.


	7. Chapter 7

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 7

oooXXXooo

July 8th 2010

Kate Beckett stared blankly at her computer screen. There was paperwork to do, and not much time to do it, but she couldn't seem to focus. The heat of early July had brought with it the usual increase of homicides, and it had worn her and her team down. For two weeks now she'd had a problem focusing on her work. Her temper was short, and she did nothing but work then barricade herself in her apartment. The problem?

Richard Castle.

It'd been two weeks since she had seen him sitting in the café talking to another woman. She didn't even know why she was so jealous. It wasn't as if she hadn't had her shot at something more with him. She had willingly thrown that away because she wanted something more. Something more than what she thought Castle would ever be able to give her. Or maybe she just was scared of having more with him? She didn't really know.

The past two weeks had also seen a change in her own relationship status. With her temper being so short and the distance she had put between herself and Tom Demming, it wasn't that surprising that the robbery detective had ended the relationship.

To be honest, she wasn't even that broke up about it. They'd only been going out for a little over a month, and despite the fireworks of their first sexual encounter, the rest of the relationship was very mediocre. Sure, they had a lot in common, but there were several things about Demming's personality that rubbed her the wrong way. He was very full of himself, and thought that she should put her own work aside when he decided that they needed to be together. If he hadn't ended their relationship, she definitely would have.

In the end it all came back to Rick Castle. Despite her protestations (even to herself), she knew there was something there. There always had been. It was why she had allowed herself to fall into his bed in the first place. She just didn't consider him long-term relationship material, even if she might have wanted him in that way. Which she was quickly coming to realize that she did.

She had feelings for Richard Bloody Castle. She might have thought that it was only lust on her part, but she knew after that one glimpse of him with someone else, that she was wrong. So, very wrong.

Not that she knew what to do about it. Even after admitting to herself that her feelings had changed, she didn't know if she was willing to risk being in a relationship with him. He'd been divorced twice, and had thrived in the playboy atmosphere that he had created after he had divorced the second time.

But she also knew that she was being supremely unfair. She knew that it was her initial preconceptions of the man that were coloring her faith in his ability to maintain a relationship. He wasn't as big a playboy as she had thought him to be, and he had shown a willingness to change when it came to her.

When it came right down to it, Castle scared her. Not because of his divorces, which she knew very little about, or because he had many female partners in the past. No. What scared her were how deep her feelings for Castle happened to be. Once she had admitted to herself two weeks previously that she had feelings beyond lust for the man, she had been shocked to discover that those feelings were very deep. When had that happened, she had asked herself. It still took a lot for her to admit to those feelings; even in her own head she was still in denial half the time.

Since her mother died, she had shied away from any meaningful relationships. Oh, she told people she wanted a serious relationship, like she had told Castle when she had broken up with him, but she liked having one foot out the door. She would never consider entering a relationship where she wasn't one hundred percent in control. She knew that if she allowed a relationship with Castle to go beyond sex, she'd lose that control, and that terrified her.

She just didn't know what to do. She had talked to Lanie right before the holiday, but it hadn't eased any of her confusion.

—FLASHBACK—

"Girl, what are you doing down here so early?" Lanie asked after she turned around to face the detective.

Kate hopped up onto one of the empty autopsy tables and started absentmindedly swinging her legs back and forth. "I saw Castle a few days ago," she blurted out. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. She knew that her jealousy pointed towards deeper feelings for Castle, but she didn't want to have deeper feelings for the man.

"Why does that have you so flustered? You seemed okay with the breakup after it happened."

"I felt guilty, but I didn't know what it meant. But when I saw Castle with another woman the other day I got so jealous."

"Does that mean what I think it means?" Lanie squealed. "Did you finally realize that you're in love with that man?"

"What?! No, I'm not!" Kate shouted back, trying to ignore the not-so-silent childish (Castle-like) voice in the back of her mind that was chanting 'liar, liar, pants on fire!'

"Oh, girl. Stop lying to yourself and to me. I can see it in your eyes. When the two of you started sleeping together, you were happy, no matter how much you told yourself it was all about the sex."

"Lanie…"

"No Kate. You need to stop and think about what you really, really want. If that's Castle you need to get him back before that boy moves on. If you're happy floating from one meaningless relationship to the next, then so be it. But you don't have a lot of time to decide. There will come a time, and likely very soon, that Castle won't be there waiting for you."

Kate was silent for several minutes as she thought about it. In the end, though, she was just as confused as she had been. She didn't know what she wanted. Was what she felt for Castle true love? And why did the thought of that scare the living daylights out of her?

As she made her way back to the homicide department after fleeing the morgue, Kate settled on doing nothing for now. She had to think about what she really felt, and what she wanted to do about it.

—END FLASHBACK—

It had been a few days since that conversation, and Kate wasn't any closer to figuring out what she wanted. Maybe it was best just to let Castle go, for good. If they got together for real, she would only hurt him even more than what she already had.

She was brought out of her thoughts by her phone ringing.

"Beckett."

"Detective, there is a Martha Rodgers here to speak with you. Would you like me to send her up?" the voice of the desk sergeant asked.


	8. Chapter 8

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

Thanks to The Muse of Apollo for allowing me to pick this story up where he left off, I hope I do it justice. Here goes this is my first FanFic so be kind.

Disclaimer: Credit for first seven chapters and theme for this goes to The Muse of Apollo I don't own Castle, and all characters are the property of Andrew Marlow except for those The Muse of Apollo and I created

Chapter 8

oooXXXooo

July 15th 2010

Previously

"Lanie…"

"No Kate. You need to stop and think about what you really, really want. If that's Castle you need to get him back before that boy moves on. If you're happy floating from one meaningless relationship to the next, then so be it. But you don't have a lot of time to decide. There will come a time, and likely very soon, that Castle won't be there waiting for you."

Kate was silent for several minutes as she thought about it. In the end, though, she was just as confused as she had been. She didn't know what she wanted. Was what she felt for Castle true love? And why did the thought of that scare the living daylights out of her?

As she made her way back to the homicide department after fleeing the morgue, Kate settled on doing nothing for now. She had to think about what she really felt, and what she wanted to do about it.

—END FLASHBACK—

It had been a few days since that conversation, and Kate wasn't any closer to figuring out what she wanted. Maybe it was best just to let Castle go, for good. If they got together for real, she would only hurt him even more than what she already had.

She was brought out of her thoughts by her phone ringing.

"Beckett."

"Detective, there is a Martha Rodgers here to speak with you. Would you like me to send her up?" the voice of the desk sergeant asked.

"Yes, please send her up Sergeant", as a wave of fear washes over Kate's body. Why is Martha here, is Rick OK? Did something happen to Alexis? She is about to find out as the elevator dings, and off walks the Red Head commanding all the attention a Broadway Actress would. She spots Kate and makes her way down the aisle to her desk, waving politely to Espo and Ryan. Kate stands to greet her and is surprised as Martha embraces her and says "Katherine, it so wonderful to see you, we have missed you so much at the loft, it just doesn't feel the same without you stopping by like you were doing. I don't know what Richard did, but I wanted to speak to you in private for a few minutes if you have time"

"Of course, Martha, can I get you anything to drink, coffee, water, tea" and leads the way to the conference room as Martha waves her head no to her offer of any drinks. Kate closes the door and takes a deep breath waiting for hurricane Martha to unleash her fury, but is surprised when Martha whispers "Darling, how are you doing really, no putting up the brave front for me, I can see you are about as happy as Richard is." Kate is taken back by the sincerity, and confession that Rick is faring about as well as she is, "Martha, you know I care about Rick, but I thought I had a chance at forever with someone who is more like me and I foolishly took the chance. It turns out, that the grass isn't as green once you get to that side and I realized I made a huge mistake, and in the process hurt Rick deeply, so deeply in fact he left the precinct and the work that I know he loves. I've tried to contact him and apologize over and over, but he hasn't taken or returned any of my calls or texts. I'm not sure if we could ever bridge our differences anyway, after all he has had two marriages that failed, and I am not sure if he could completely invest in a relationship given his history"

Martha has heard enough, and responds in a tone Kate has never heard come from this Motherly figure, "Katherine, have you bothered to **ASK** Richard about those relationships or are you the trained detective solving murders content to take the Page Six as fact? I am truly disappointed in you, and although this is not my story to tell, I will say this, Check Public Record for court proceedings and see who the injured party was. I think you will be surprised by what you find, but as I said that's not my story to tell, it is Richard's and if you took the time to ask I am sure you would be in a different place now." Kate is in shock and embarrassed as she thinks, My God, she is right, I didn't even ask, I just jumped to the conclusion based on his Playboy persona, what kind of person am I, what kind of Detective assumes?

Martha clearly has more to say but she bites her tongue and says, "That is one issue Katherine, but it's not what I came to see you about, Richard is working on a special project now that he has sworn everyone to secrecy, so I won't break his trust by divulging any information I may have. I will say this, I know my son, even though he is adopted I could not love him more than if I gave birth to him." Kate's mouth flies open, and a gasp is uttered as she mumbled the word "Adopted?" Martha blushes and mouths "Oh My you really don't know my son at all do you? I thought he would have shared this information with the woman he has listed as his Emergency Contact and listed as Alexis's Guardian should something happen to him. I thought you cared enough about him to at least find out as he says, "the story", he knows about every detail about you from your favorite color to the how you take your coffee and you don't know my son at all."

Martha is visibly upset, and Kate tries to settle the older lady down with "Martha, you know I care about Rick" which earns her a glare and hrmpp from her as Martha interrupts, so out of character for this polite lady who was a mother figure to her, "Apparently your definition of caring differs from mine, but keep telling yourself that and even you will believe it someday." "I was going to discuss with you how you thought I could help to soothe the damaged feelings between the two of you, but based on this conversation, I think my son has taken the high road far too long.

Katherine, it is no secret that Richard loves you, the only one blind to it is you and I will tell you this, I know my son, and even as kind and generous as he is, he does have limits. I think you made have already exceeded those, again not my decision but if I were in his shoes you would be a bad memory I would be trying to forget, and perhaps that is just what he is doing with this project." Kate feels faint and the room is spinning, she can't believe this got so screwed up so quickly. Martha's words have hit and hit hard. She barely notices as Hurricane Martha gathers herself and starts toward the door. She regroups just in time to reply "Thanks Martha, I have a lot to work on, but I promise you I do **CARE** about your son, and I am so sorry for all the pain I put him, and your family through. May I come by tonight to express this in a better environment?" Kate fully expects the open and warm invitation she has always received from Martha and feels like another slap when Martha replies "I think it is best if you clear all visits to our home through Richard, he is my concern now and after this conversation I am more worried than ever about his feelings. Anyway, aren't you seeing a Detective here Katherine, and isn't that why you stopped coming by the loft? Richard mentioned something about you finding True Love with another Detective" Kate feels her face flush with embarrassment, and a tear threaten to fall when she hears out loud what Castle had been living, "Martha I won't lie it was a Detective here, but that is over and now I know just how much I care about Rick and I promise you I won't hurt him, not again." Martha has a sad look in her eyes as she replies "Sometimes there are no fixes to our actions and we are forced to live with our decisions, that will be between you and Richard. I am sorry Katherine, truly sorry but my son is the one I am worried about now, even more that I know it wasn't just rejection, but truly heartbreak that forced him to take an alternate course, you need to straighten this out with Richard before you are welcome at our home"

Martha sadly opens the door leaving a stunned Kate standing in the Conference Room, and waves ever so slightly to Espo and Ryan in the Bull Pen. Kate lowers her head and lets a tear fall as she begins to realize just what a fool she has been, this can be fixed, it has to be, Castle wouldn't leave her, they had an understanding, but even she doesn't believe it as the events of the last several weeks flash in front of her, God she has screwed up the best thing she ever had and didn't even realize it, she walks to the Ladies Room and lets the tears fall,

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 9

Previously

Martha sadly opens the door leaving a stunned Kate standing in the Conference Room, and waves ever so slightly to Espo and Ryan in the Bull Pen. Kate lowers her head and lets a tear fall as she begins to realize just what a fool she has been, this can be fixed, it has to be, Castle wouldn't leave her, they had an understanding, but even she doesn't believe it as the events of the last several weeks flash in front of her, God she has screwed up the best thing she ever had and didn't even realize it, she walks to the Ladies Room and lets the tears fall,

Meanwhile across town,

Rick Castle is a bit nervous, after all this is something that he has never done before and the it could have a profound effect on those people who need it most, what better way to honor Rae's memory than that. He pauses to reflect on his friend who he owes his life to and resolves to make this a success for her. As he is caught in his thoughts, Jessica Hawthorne appears and is a vision of Professional Loveliness. Her sheik blouse revealed the imprints of just what an attractive female she is, while disguised with the blazer and business suit, she is totally acceptable for even the most conservative client.

"Hi Rick, you ready to get this ball rolling? I am very excited to be working with you on such a wonderful project". Rick looks at Jessica and fights to keep his thoughts professional, he flashes her that smile he hasn't been able to display in quite a while, "Ready when the Boss Lady is Madam". She smiles back with just a tint of blush in her cheeks and responds, "Rick before we get into this too far I need to ask is there anyone that would be unhappy with spur of the moment meetings, or jealous of the fact that sometime we will need to meet in fancy hotels to wine and dine the prospective donors? I mean I don't want to cause any problems and need to set ground rules as we begin so we are always on the same page. We won't always be working a normal shift and I want all to be comfortable with what we are doing and how." Rick laughs and replies, "I know you are not a Rick Castle fan now, or you would know some of the messes my Agent has had to get me out of because of my stupidity in my younger days, but to answer your question Jessica, there is no one, other than my daughter who has first call on my time."

That exchange seems to break the ice between the two and Rick smiles and says "That also brings up an interesting topic I wanted to discuss with you Jessica, and I understand it is sensitive so feel free to remain quiet if you are not comfortable answering it. How would you feel about coming to work for me full time, the entire project is yours to manage with my input, financially as well as creative, but it is your show to run for this salary" as he slides a note pad over to her face down. Jessica is sitting with her mouth half open and tears threatening to burst any moment, when she squeaks out her reply, "I accept the offer Rick, only if you agree to call me Jess and let me pay for dinner tonight". "You drive a hard bargain" Rick laughs and then says "We have a deal"

Jess is staying in the Embassy Towers since she has just relocated to New York from Boston and the Agency from her work is working on permanent housing. "Where are you living at Jess and how do you like New York so far" Rick asks, Jess replies "Gee that is something I didn't think about, the agency is lining up permanent homes but for now I am at the Embassy Suites." Rick replies almost like this was an everyday conversation, "No Problem Jess, I own 3 suites in my building and one is open, so you can just live there for what ever the agency was going to allow for housing.". "Rick you can't be serious, I can't afford that type of real estate, not even on the new generous salary you are paying. I will just have to look for something more in my price range." She notices the hurt look in Rick's eyes as she finishes speaking, and she quickly amends her statement to "Of course if you were to take weekly deductions from my pay, it would make it much more manageable." Rick is smiling like a kid on Christmas, "Told you Jess, we can work out the details, this project is that important to me." Jess just smiles and pats his hand, "we are going to make it happen Rick, I promise you."

Since it was getting late and no reservations had been made Jess suggested they just grab a table at the hotel restaurant and start laying out their plans. They were able to be seated in a quiet area with a large table to spread out the plans that seemed to appear out of no where from the small case Jess had been carrying. They both elected to drink coffee with their meals keeping the senses sharp for the upcoming planning session. They polished off their meals and began to chat about how the project should look, Jess wanted to hear Rick visualize his dream to her, and she was relieved when he closed his eyes almost trance like and described in detail what the vision, short term and long-term goals he envisioned. When he opened his eyes, he thought he saw a glimmer of a tear in Jess's eyes, but she marched on and started her recap of Rick's description in surprising detail.

The ideas for what the project should look like, who should be involved, how they could maximize a minimal amount of resources are flying across the table, and Rick hasn't felt this good since he was completing Beckett's sentences as they built theory together. Jess is not only beautiful, but very knowledgeable about her job, as well as a keen eye for lowest cost possible without sacrificing quality. Jess is speaking openly and giggling at some of the faces Rick is making, lightening the mood for what they both know is a heartbreaking problem. After one exchange Jess flipped her hair and made that throaty laugh that Beckett did, and Rick was left staring off into the blue and for a moment he was back at the 12th and everything was good again. Jess reached across the table and gently took his hands in hers, and asked "Who was it Rick that hurt you this bad, and how can I help make that hurt go away?" Rick looked down at the small fingers holding his and brought one hand up to his mouth and pressed a soft sweet kiss to the back of her palm, "Thanks Jess, we'll talk about it sometime, but not tonight if that's all right." "Of course Rick, I apologize for prodding but you were off in another place and I began to worry about you" "No need to apologize Jess, and I promise I will try not to worry you like that again, just a lot has happened, and I really need to get this right, it means a great deal to me." Jess just patted his big hands with her petite fingers as if saying It will all be all right, a reassurance that was not wasted or unnoticed by Rick.

Jess fought to stifle a yawn unsuccessfully, and Rick took stock of the time realizing they had been going over the planning for almost 4 hours. "Let's call it a night Jess, I am tired, and I know you must be exhausted if that is OK?" "Thanks Rick I didn't realize how long we had been talking, or where the time has gone, so what's the plan for tomorrow, do you have other commitments, or can we meet again?" "Why don't you take care of your resignation, then call me and I will send a car for you to bring you to your new home, if you like it that is." Jess flushed with embarrassment being treated like royalty by this kind man, and replied "Are you sure Rick, I mean that is a lot to invest in a resource you hardly know." "Jess, I have been around people all my life, I am seldom fooled, and I am sure, the car will be here for you tomorrow around 10:00 AM if that is OK?" "Jess leaned over and kissed Rick gently on the cheek, as she mumbled "That's perfect, everything is perfect". After showing Jess to her door, Rick was the consummate gentleman regardless of what the situation or how he had been treated, climbed into the back of his car service with the first smile he had shown is months. Maybe he could do this after all, he seemed to hear Rae's voice say to him "Of course you can, you were my star pupil, and remember never let them see you cry." For the first time in forever it seemed there is life after the 12th now he had to seize it. Upstairs Jess is silently thanking the Supreme Being for bringing Rick into her life, she doesn't know who would be such a fool to throw him away, but she's glad he is available to not only spearhead this project, but also spend time in her company, Wait, don't get ahead take it slow he has been hurt badly so proceed slowly she keeps repeating to herself as she hums her way into the shower,

TBC

A/N Not much Beckett in this chapter but needed to develop the characters. We'll check in with her next chapter.


	10. Chapter 10

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 10

Previously

For the first time in forever it seemed there is life after the 12th now he had to seize it. Upstairs Jess is silently thanking the Supreme Being for bringing Rick into her life, she doesn't know who would be such a fool to throw him away, but she's glad he is available to not only spearhead this project, but also spend time in her company, Wait, don't get ahead take it slow he has been hurt badly so proceed slowly she keeps repeating to herself as she hums her way into the shower,

As Martha makes her way onto the elevator, Kate is in the Ladies Room losing whatever it was she had for lunch and crying her eyes out. She had just been dressed down by a Pro and deserved every word if not more. Ryan and Espo are starting to worry when 30 minutes go by and Kate has not emerged. Ryan turns to Espo, "Bro, get Lanie up here now, God knows what she can do with her state of mind, and Castle is not here to talk her down." Espo spits out, "Talk her down? Hell, Bro he probably caused this, I don't know how but if he hurt her I swear I will kick his Ass from here to Sunday." "Just get Lanie up here and now Javi, we will figure out the blame later" Ryan counters.

Finally, after almost an hour Kate and Lanie come out of the Ladies Room and Espo is immediately shut down by a glare from Lanie, who quietly says "I'm taking Kate home, and if any bodies drop tonight, you boys are on your own, got it?" The boys nod not that Lanie was waiting for their acknowledgment anyway. Kate walks almost trance like to the elevator with Lanie right by her side, with red and puffed eyes and still sniffling. Once out of the building Kate starts her protests, "Lanes I am fine, so just go about what you had planned, I am fine, or will be once I get home and get a shower to wash this day off." Lanie doesn't even respond, just shoots her Girl I am gonna smack you Eye Roll, so Kate relinquishes, she has no fight left tonight. Once they arrive at Kate's apartment Lanie uses her key and opens the door, as Kate stumbles to the bathroom with another crying episode. Lanie just goes about getting the couch set up for herself, putting out some soft foods, and water for Kate along with two ibuprofen which Kate is surly going to need tomorrow.

Kate comes out of the Bathroom dressed in her bed clothes, oversized sweat shirt, and jogger pants with NYPD on the side, one look at Lanie and she is on the couch crying once again. Lanie sits beside her, holds her for a while then gets tough on her, telling her she must eat something and acting this way isn't going to get Castle back so shape up. Eventually Kate either cries herself out or she starts listening to the constant verbal stream coming from Lanie, and puts her hand up, "OK, ENOUGH Lanes, I know I screwed up, now what I need is How do I undo all the hurt I have caused." "Oh, Honey I don't know if you can, not this time" Lanie says softly. "You know what you have to do, so just do it", "How Lanie, he won't even answer a text, he has already moved on, I know he has." "And just how do you know this Detective" Lanie challenges. "Do what he has done, DON'T give up, you have to admit that man had took a TON of your abuse and always come back, so maybe it's your turn to chase, that is if you care about him at all"

Kate finally is in good enough emotional state that Lanie feels she can safely leave her alone. One final shot as she leaves, "I call you answer you got it, if not I will be over here kicking your skinny ass, understand?" Kate knows her best friend is only doing what she can to protect her, so she gives her a half hug as she mumbles "Thanks Lanes, don't know what I would do with out you." Lanie just replied "work on Writer Man before you drive us all crazy girl," and with a wave of her hand she is off.

Left to herself Kate begins to think how did this go so wrong so fast, was she really that naïve she would spread her legs like a typical Badge Bunny would do for a good looking, smooth talking cop? Did she even consider for a moment her partner, and oh God some of the remarks she had made to him were unforgivable and just cruel? She had traded a man who showed her love in so many ways for a chance in the sack with the new good-looking guy, what the hell was she thinking. She needed to talk to Castle to beg his forgiveness, grabbing her phone she hits 2 for his speed dial and prays he will pick up.

Castle is sitting as his desk replaying the first Good Day he has had in months in his mind, when his phone chirps that familiar ring tone, Beckett. Not even waiting for the rings to go to voice mail he declines the call. Beckett hears the call go to his greeting except this time it is not his normal cheerful voice, it is the standard greeting from his carrier stating the number reached and options to leave a voice mail. That is not like Castle, so she ends the call and dials again, with the same results except this time it doesn't even ring meaning Castle is deliberately screening her calls. God, she screwed this up big time. She types out a quick text, _Castle I know you are there and refusing to answer, please pick up, I need to talk to you Please Thx KB._

The phone chirps with notification of a new text, Castle knows who it is without looking and hits delete without even opening it. Kate puts the phone down and then has one last thought, maybe she could reach him on his land line, pulling her cell she quickly dials the house phone only to be greeted with the message "Calls from this number have been blocked by the subscriber, please hang up and do not attempt to call again. Thank You Worldwide Services Notification 4747". She is shocked, and throws herself into bed, wishing this day would end and she would wake up to find it was a bad dream. Castle would NEVER block her number, but the message says she is so wrong again. It is a long sleepless night as Kate relives every insult, every barb, by both her and Boy Toy Deming, she is so ashamed and hurt that she would ever treat this man this way.

Rick is just about to turn his phone off when a new tone chirps, checking the caller ID it is from a Boston Area Code, he opens the text and a smile breaks across his face, _Just getting into bed and wanted to Thank You for everything Rick, I had a great evening, hope to spend many more with you, I'll call you in the AM, sleep well X Jess._ Rick leans back in his chair, and smiles, yes it would be a good night after all. He adds the number to his Favorites along with a picture he had managed to take while Jess wasn't looking, and she is even more beautiful now than when they parted, God Slow Down Rick, you have obligations to take care of his inner voice screams. He showers, and prepares for bed, for the first time without stopping by his bottle of Single Malt in weeks, he was pretty sure he wouldn't need it tonight. He was right as he drifted off to the most peaceful sleep he had had in ages, with a certain new lady running though his mind all night.

Kate looks at the clock, again, it's been 10 minutes since last she looked, and at 3:00 AM there isn't a lot of options for her to do, so she turns into her pillow trying to block out Richard Castle completely, revert to the days before he wormed his way into her life. That's what she wanted wasn't it, well she said it enough times so maybe this time it came true, she sits upright in a cold sweat from a dream where Castle is the one killed trying to save her from her apartment explosion. For the life of her she cannot explain her actions for the last 8 weeks, it was almost like she was drugged and acting like a different person. No wonder Castle left, the only question is how he took her abuse as long as he did, and why. He had to have Loved, **(Past Tense)** , her to put up with half of the abuse.

Finally, at 5:30 AM Kate gets out of bed, showers and heads into the precinct, at this point she is not even sure she is scheduled to work, but she does what she always does when she runs, hides in her work. There is always something she can do to keep her mind off Castle, right? There must be. She greets the Night Shift Sargent as she makes he way up to the 4th floor to Homicide. She is drawn to the Murder Board for the case they were working on yesterday and sees minimal notes added. She's not hiding, she is working, there is a difference, anyone knows that.

She buries herself in the notes getting caught up from yesterday when she hears a voice, "Hey Beckett, thought you were taking the day off" Espo asks. "Yea well looks like this case will be open for ever if I leave it to you boys" not realizing just how harsh it sounded till she saw the wince on Espo's face as Ryan walks in and joins him. "I'm sorry Espo that's not what I mean, and you know it," "No sweat Beckett, Ryan and I will buck up today and pull our load" he mouthed without a smile. God what is she doing, she must get hold of herself. Offering a peace offering she yells "Espo, Ryan I'm going to get coffee can I get you one," the reply comes from each of the detectives in unison who never even raise their heads, "No Thank You." It's going to be another long day for Beckett.

A/N Please review I have an idea where I am taking this story but would like to hear constructive feedback. I don't want to get into Beckett, Castle Bashing, just what arc of the story or how can I improve, Many Thanks Tim

 **SPECIAL KUDOS to** **The Muse of Apollo** for his help in not only the story but also for his patience in assisting me in setting up Fan Fic Account, Thank You Matt, If you have not read his work, go there NOW, you won't be disappointed


	11. Chapter 11

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 11

Previously

"Hey Beckett, thought you were taking the day off" Espo asks. "Yea well looks like this case will be open for ever if I leave it to you boys" not realizing just how harsh it sounded till she saw the wince on Espo's face as Ryan walks in and joins him. "I'm sorry Espo that's not what I mean, and you know it," "No sweat Beckett, Ryan and I will buck up today and pull our load" he mouthed without a smile. God what is she doing, she must get hold of herself. Offering a peace offering she yells "Espo, Ryan I'm going to get coffee can I get you one," the reply comes from each of the detectives in unison who never even raise their heads, "No Thank You." It's going to be another long day for Beckett.

Castle is just turning over to grab a few minutes of extra sleep when he hears her tone, no NOT Beckett, the one he set up the night before for Jess. He fumbles and reaches for his phone and there it is just received 3 minutes ago, a text from his new ringtone. He opens the text to read,

 _Good morning Rick, hope you slept as well as I, still can't thank you enough for last night and so excited to get this project kicked off with you. Notified United Appeal, not happy but resignation is done, and moving truck is giving me 6 hours to advise new payment and address option, please call me when you get this XX Jess_

He must read it twice to remember all that happened in such a great day yesterday. Jess was really going to live in his building and work with him full time on this new project, how did he get so lucky? Oh, he had better take care of the moving truck or Jess would not be happy with him. He clears the screen, hitting #4 his new speed dial for her, the phone rings once and then he hears "Rick, wow I didn't think the text would wake you I am so sorry." Rick chuckles as he replies "Jess, I welcome this type of texts rather than 2 years of all night body drops, any way let's take care of the Movers and then if you would like we can meet for coffee or a quick bite?"

"Please have the movers call my Business Manager at 555-455-5555 ask for Phil and he will know how to handle it, and by the way your new address is 106 Broome Street NY, NY Apt 304, It's furnished but feel free to use your own belongings once they arrive, or stay with what is there, your choice". Rick hears silence, so he calls out "Jess, are you there", then he hears the sniffle, "hey none of that OK? I want you to be devoted to this project, so you need to be happy". A small voice comes back "You are just too good to be true Richard Castle, and I can't wait to I see my new home, the Embassy was getting stuffy and I will be glad to have a place to call home. I would love to grab coffee with you, where do you want to meet and when?" Rick gives Jess the address of the Coffee Shop he gets, check that, where he used to get Beckett's coffee from and arranges to meet her in 30 minutes. "I'll let you go Rick, see you in 30 minutes and Thank You again !"

Rick springs from his bed, into a shower and dresses in record time and grabs his keys and wallet and is out the door in less than 20 minutes. He arrives just as Jess is getting out of her cab, so he takes her hand and gently assists her out. It seems so natural as he places his hand in the small of her back as they begin to walk the short distance to the Coffee Shop door, and she must feel the same since he is rewarded with a huge smile and little eye wink as she feels his hand placed on her. Rick is so focused on Jess, he doesn't see the brunette put on her sun glasses and pull her coat up as she passes right by the two, walking at a brisk pace. It is only when he gets a slight whiff of Cherry smell that it even dawns on him that it could have been Kate but by now she is half a block away.

As Rick and Jess are settling into a cozy booth ordering Coffee and pastries, Kate is taking her rage out on anyone or anything in her path. As she walks back into the station some 3 blocks away the first victim is the garbage can that got the Coffee Cup she had been carrying along with a huge dose of her fist, placing a huge dent in the receptacle. The desk Sargent just rolled his eyes and stayed clear, as she headed for the gym to work out. She changes into her workout clothes and is secretly hoping someone is looking for a scrap, she needs to unload, (Who the hell does he think he is, taking her to Our coffee shop, when he won't even return my text, who needs writer boy anyway).

Fortunately, most stay clear of Beckett as she works the speed bag, then heads to the heavy bag, bang, bang, bang, and then she hears that cocky voice, "you know you are still doing it wrong" as she looks up and sees a smiling Deming glaring at her buttocks. "Well maybe you would want to show me in live combat what I'm doing wrong Deming, unless you are afraid I will kick your ass" throwing out a challenge she knows he just can't back down from. "Any day of the week Beckett give me 5 minutes to suit up and prepare to get your ass handed to you" Deming spews. This only adds fuel to the flame for Beckett, Deming returns to the mat, and about 15 minutes later is being transported to the hospital when it took 3 officers to break Kate's choke hold on him, that was after she had closed both of his eyes with her jabs. She didn't do herself any favors by yelling out "Whose Next? "You are all a Bunch of Wusses", in front of 5 Internal Affairs Officers who had witnessed the entire Deming debacle.

She heads to the showers, still seething that Castle would have the nerve to take someone to their place, even though she knew there was no them or their place, not anymore she had managed to trash that just like her coffee. She is at her desk, not speaking to the boys since the earlier rebuke of her peace offering, buried in her notes when Montgomery steps out of his office and speaks in a firm tone, "Detective Beckett, My Office NOW", she knew something was up with the title included in her name, and she knew the Captain was pissed about something.

She marks her place in the report and stands to move to Montgomery's office when she sees the three IA officers leaving. "Oh, Great Deming sicked IA on me", that's all she needs she mutters under her breath. "Take a seat Beckett", Montgomery bellows, as he walks over and closes his door. "Do you have any idea of the damage you have caused this station, how much damage you have done to my integrity, not to mention the bills the city is going to rack up paying for your Boyfriends medical treatments, What the Hell were you thinking?" "Sir he is not my Boyfriend", Montgomery interrupts "you mean anymore, word around the station was he was getting it on pretty hot and heavy with you, and what the hell where you are thinking bedding a scum like Deming, he couldn't keep his mouth shut and even showed some pictures".

Kate is now thinking she is going to kill him for sure, as soon as she gets the chance. "Sir I had no idea he had showed pictures and spread our personal business throughout the station, that was not what this was about." Really Montgomery Asks, "tell me how I convince those three scum bags from IA that wasn't the case. They have it down as a Lead Detective abuses a lower grade detective for revenge and have already filed moral charges against you both." "I'm sorry Kate but put your gun and shield on my Desk, this is an automatic 30-day suspension, unless IA gets their way at the hearing and you know what that means." "I'm sorry Kate, you took it out of my hands when you assaulted Deming, they have it on tape that it took 3 cops to pull you off him. What the hell did you do, traded Castle who dropped a $100K on you at the drop of a hat for some Badge Bunny magnet, you really messed up this time, consult your Union Rep and be off the premises in 30 minutes, I'm Sorry Kate."

Kate storms out of the office not stopping to turn her computer off, or even lock up her desk. Ryan and Espo just look at each other with puzzled looks until Montgomery steps out and yell their names. "Espo, Ryan as of 5 minutes ago you are co-acting lead detectives until Detective Beckett is reinstated or her case is resolved." Ryan and Espo knew better than to say anything more than "Yes Sir" and then waited to be dismissed. They would find out what happened but now was not the time. Yes, it really wasn't a good day for Kate Beckett, even worse than she could have imagined.


	12. Chapter 12

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **A/N The next few chapters are going to be rough for the Caskett Shippers, I ask you to be patient as this as the tittle indicates is a Journey, not a sprint**

Chapter 12

Previously

Kate storms out of the office not stopping to turn her computer off, or even lock up her desk. Ryan and Espo just look at each other with puzzled looks until Montgomery steps out and yell their names. "Espo, Ryan as of 5 minutes ago you are co-acting lead detectives until Detective Beckett is reinstated or her case is resolved." Ryan and Espo knew better than to say anything more than "Yes Sir" and then waited to be dismissed. They would find out what happened but now was not the time. Yes, it really wasn't a good day for Kate Beckett, even worse than she could have imagined.

Down the Block at the Coffee Shop

Rick and Jess settle into easy conversation, bantering back and forth good naturally with an ease that both are not accustomed to. Rick can see the trepidation on Jess's face, so he decides to take the lead, "Jess, if you are feeling what I am feeling then we both know this level of comfort does not come this quickly to us. I usually have to spend months to feel that ***" "that second sense that I can almost say what you are thinking Rick" Jess completes for him as Rick spouts that huge genuine grin, and Jess's eyes sparkle.

"You know Rick I really don't know much about you other than your Professional Portfolio which does not give you enough credit for your big heart and kindness, but in another way, I feel so comfortable with you it's almost like I have known you all my life. I have to keep reminding myself that I WORK for you and we are not dating, but I'm just meeting with a great boss."

Rick smiles and replies, "I've been called many things, Boss is not one of them, and in my organization, No one works for anyone, we work together. I know what you mean because I feel the same way about you. You saw some of the carnage left from my recent history, you should never be subjected to that, and again I apologize. I promise you we will talk about it sometime soon, but for now, can we agree to be friends, even Best Friends till I have the time to properly close that chapter?"

Jess smiles into those sparkling blue eyes as she replies with a simple kiss on the cheek, and whispers, "We already are best friends, take as much time as you need, just let me know if you ever change your mind and I lose my chance to be something more, Please?"

Rick embraces her and replies "Of course, now we better get to work, or the Lost Innocence Project will never get off the ground."

Jess shoots Rick that look of love that only women who are secure can pull off as she says "Lost Innocence, is that the official name of the project Rick? I love it, and I think it fits what we are trying to accomplish regardless of the age of our clients, they all possess that sense of innocence that was lost somewhere along the way."

Rick smiles as he replies "You really think so Jess? My family thought it was a bit cliché, but it just rings an accord deep inside me."

"Rick, you are the heart of this project so if you love it, and I love it, what does it matter to others" Jess assures him as she gently squeezes his hand.

"Then it's final Lost Innocence is officially kicked off" as Rick grabs his coffee and toasts Jess.

The car service arrives 15 minutes later, and as Rick and Jess enter the limo, Jess is still in awe of the generosity and good looks of the man sitting next to her.

"Ready to see your apartment and start the next Chapter of your life?" Rick asks eagerly. "Of course, I just hope you are never sorry for taking this leap of faith in me Rick, no one has ever just handed me a project to run even though I have proved myself over and over. I can't wait to get settled so I can help make your vision come to fruition. I have just one question, and if you're not comfortable with it, please just tell me to mind my business OK?" Jess is looking very nervous now as she finishes and takes a deep breath,

Rick sets her mind at ease at once with simply reaching out and taking her hand in his, and replies "Ask whatever you need Jess, nothing is off limits"

Jess appears shy for the first time since they met and quietly begins "Rick, when I asked you to describe your vision in our first meeting, you closed your eyes and spoke of a friend named Rae, and how important it was for you to make this project a success for her, May I ask who she was, and again, feel free to ignore if this is too personal"

Rick continues to hold Jess's hand, but she can see his face go from that boyish smile to a deep drawn out expression, almost like he was reliving a nightmare and she worries now did she ask the wrong question.

Drawing in a deep breath Rick glances over to Jess and begins "Jess you need to know and understand my back story, not only for this project, but as my friend, and please understand how difficult this is for me. Please don't run when you hear the ugly side of Rick Rodgers, AKA Rick Castle, Please?

Jess takes her hand and gently turns Rick's face towards her, and gently says, "I am not going anywhere, I promise you, to me there could never be an Ugly side of you Rick."

Rick's face relaxes some and his eyes send out a message of gratitude to his friend, as he begins to tell the story of his parents death, his time in foster care, he glosses over the abuse, but Jess holds his hand just a bit tighter as she puts the pieces of the story together, and as he ventures a glance her direction he can see the tears pooling up in her eyes.

She doesn't cry, resolved to be there for Rick, she listens intently as he proceeds to how he met Rae, and how he owes her his life, describing the life on the street for young kids, and then he pauses, tears roll down his face quietly, and Jess just holds his hand a little tighter.

Finally, he describes the last day of the life of Rae, and how he was left for dead, and would be if it had not been for Martha Rodgers taking a short cut to her car that day. Jess can't hold the tears in any longer and begins to sob with tears pouring out of her eyes uncontrollably.

Rick gathers her in a sweet embrace as she sobs and slowly rubs her back gently whispering "Hey it's all right, I am right here, I am OK, we are doing this for Rae and for all the others that didn't get lucky like I did, OK? You know you are the first person I have ever shared this with, not even my two ex-wives know the entire story, thanks for listening" as he wipes the tears from her lovely eyes.

Jess is quiet for a few minutes still in Rick's embrace until she gathers herself and leans back and looks him in the eye and places a sweet, brief, kiss on his lips. "No one will ever hurt you again Rick, not as long as I am here, I am so sorry this brought back all those memories. Thanks for sharing with me, as painful as it was I am glad you did."

Rick is overcome with the sincerity, and a bit surprised by the kiss, although more comforting than romantic, it showed the depths of this young woman's compassion. "Jess, we are almost at your new home, let's lose this funk and get ready to celebrate, OK?"

Jess smiles and dabs at her eyes and replies, "You're right Rick, we are celebrating life and new beginnings" as she slides over just a tad, leaving their legs still touching.

Rick's mind flashes back visioning all the barbs of Beckett and her Boy Toy over the last several weeks and resolves himself to give Jess a chance. Hell, she has shown him more love than Beckett ever did, and they had known each other for such a short while. Then he hears that little voice in his head "Easy Rick, take it slow, you know you always rush into these things, give it time"

A/N -This is a good spot to leave our characters for now, next chapter, we see Gina enter the picture, Beckett continues to flounder, and Jess and Rick talk openly about both of their pasts. If I can fit it all in one chapter, if not I will split it. Please Review and let me know your thoughts Thanks for reading Tim


	13. Chapter 13

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **A/N The next few chapters are going to be rough for the Caskett Shippers, I ask you to be patient as this as the tittle indicates is a Journey, not a sprint**

Chapter 13

Previously

 _Rick's mind flashes back visioning all the barbs of Beckett and her Boy Toy over the last several weeks and resolves himself to give Jess a chance. Hell, she has shown him more love than Beckett ever did, and they had known each other for such a short while. Then he hears that little voice in his head "Easy Rick, take it slow, you know you always rush into these things, give it time"_

Rick's car pulls up and is immediately greeted by Eduardo, the chief of security and bell desk, who opens the door and offers his assistance to Jess as she departs the car. Rick follows and begins the introductions,

"Eduardo, please meet Jessica Hawthorne, she is our new tenant in suite #304. Can you please set her up with the same permissions and privileges for building and amenities as I have? She will be setting her security settings and providing you a safe list of visitors once she has settled. In the mean time please contact me should any issues or questions arise, OK?"

"Of course, Mr. Castle and it is a pleasure to meet you Ms. Hawthorne. Please ring the front desk should you have any questions, I will have your key fobs created and to you within the hour is that is acceptable. Here is the welcome packet we prepare for our Elite tenants which should answer most of your question, but we are staffed 24/7 should you need us."

"Thank you, Eduardo, that will be fine, and please call me Jess," she sees a look of comfort come over the kind gentleman returning her smile, just another piece of evidence that no matter his wealth Rick has never forgotten where he came from and makes everyone feel important.

"Jess let's take a preview of your new home, and you can let me know what changes you require, as Eduardo stated, you will have a new set of security key fobs which will open your door as well as the Outside entrances and your storage space. The elevators are right this way" as he again slides his hand to the small of her back gently guiding her.

She flushes a bit, then replies "Rick I am sure the apartment will be perfect just the way it is," giving him a broad smile. As they leave the elevator on the 3rd floor, she feels it again, the gentle hand, ever so gently guiding her in the small of her back and she leans back into his touch.

Rick opens the door and begins to apologize for not having it prepared earlier, but all Jess sees is an apartment twice the size of her old one in Boston with a spectacular view and balcony overlooking the city. She stops still in her tracks, making Rick think she is not pleased, and as he starts to speak she holds her hand up waving him off, after a few seconds, she regains her composure and grabs Rick into a bear hug.

Rick chuckles, "I take it you like it,

"Like it? I Love it, Rick are you sure about this, you could rent this out for triple what I am paying?"

That brings a deep laugh from Rick that touches her deeply, she loves that laugh and wants to hear more of it. "No, I can't Jess, you see the upstairs tenants are a bit unruly and I bought it to keep the complaints from the Housing Board down."

"I don't understand Rick, what would the upstairs tenants have to do with you needing to buy this apartment" Jess asks with an inquisitive look on her face.

"Perhaps I can show you rather than explain, we can come back in a few minutes, but I would like to show you something if I may?"

"Of course, Rick, lead the way,"

Once again, they head for the elevator and Rick presses 4, in a moment the doors open, and the entire floor is one huge apartment, #404, as he reaches for his key fob the entry door opens and he yells out "Mother, Alexis we have company."

Jess almost freezes when she realizes she is the home of Richard Castle, and not only that he is introducing her to his family. She recovers in time to see two flashes of Red hair come into view, and hear Rick say, "Mother is this Jess, our Project Director for Lost Innocence, Jess, this is my mother and Broadway actress, Martha Rodgers"

"Darling I am so glad to meet you, Richard has been talking about you since the two of you met," Jess smiles with a slight blush as Rick says "Mother"

A cheerful smile on the face of the younger Red Head, offers her hand and says "Hi Jess, I'm Alexis, and Dad I thought I taught you better manners" as laughs erupt from the adults.

"I'm sorry pumpkin, you did, and I forgot, anyway Jess is also our new neighbor downstairs in #304."

Alexis grins and replies "I hope you warned her about the rowdy tenants in this apartment Dad, Jess regardless of what these two say they are the ones making the noise and coming and going all hours, Grams" as another burst of laughter erupts. Jess suddenly feels more than welcome, almost like an extension of Rick is being offered to her, she thinks to herself, could I be luckier?

Alexis suddenly pops in and says "Dad it would be nice and manneredly to invite Jess to diner tonight since she is between homes"

"Of course, where are my manners lately, Jess would you join us for dinner, say around 7:00 PM unless you have other plans" as Jess spots the moment of hesitancy in his eyes, almost fear, but of what?

"Thank you, Alexis, Rick I would be proud to join you, I have grown so tired of the menus of the local restaurants near my hotel." She glances up to see the sparkle return to Rick's eye and Alexis grin from ear to ear. Martha adds "Gosh Darling those restaurants are terrible, you are our guest from now till you get settled and I won't take no for an answer."

"Thank you, Martha, I can see where Rick and Alexis get their hospitality and generosity. I appreciate you including me so much. I love New York, but I do get lonesome in the hotel at times."

"It's settled then, Alexis will call you with enough notice to prepare for meals, we love to have you Darling, and Thank You, my son looks happier than he has in a long time."

Rick is searching desperately ways to defuse Martha before she divulges the entire vault of family secrets when he asks "Jess, may I show you my office and some of my works, now that I know you are not a fan, yet" as he laughs. "Then we can finish up your apartment, the keys should be ready by then"

"I'd love to see the office Rick, I have a feeling we are going to be there a lot as we kick off Lost Innocence and I want to see what other equipment I will need to manage the project once we get into actual production,"

They enter Rick's office and he gently closes the door, "Jess I apologize for my Mother, sometimes she thinks a thought and then it is out before she thinks, I am sorry if she embarrassed you."

"Not at all Rick, I thought it was very sweet, and it actually made me feel more at home with the gentle barbs thrown out. I see what you mean about your daughter, 11 years old going on 22, She is a doll and so polite, you have done a great job raising her. I take it her mother is out of the picture."

Rick pauses for a moment then replies "yes Meredith has been gone since she was 1 year old, traded her career for our daughter and her casting director for our marriage"

"I'm so sorry Rick I seem to keep stepping in it and bringing up bad times in your life," Jess whispers.

"Not at all Jess, actually we never belonged together from the start, but Thank God she left me with my greatest treasure, my little girl, and what happened was a long time ago, nothing for you to apologize for."

Rick gets the conversation back on track when he states, "Jess are you ready to finish inspecting your apartment?"

As they return to one floor down, Jess is feeling something she hasn't felt in a very long time, true happiness. Rick is such a sweet man and his family has just virtually adopted her to make her welcome. Rick is quiet on the ride seemingly lost in thought, so Jess just reached down and gently interlocked her fingers with his, he looks down, with a smile, and she mouths "Thank You Rick, for everything."

The inspection of the apartment went quickly as anticipated and Jess was overjoyed to be living not only in a beautiful apartment, but in such proximity to Rick. She suddenly remembered she had commitments in Boston and would need to make a visit soon. As they discuss upcoming plans she tells Rick of her commitments, and he is relieved since he needs to be in meetings with Black Pawn next week to finalize the changes to the contract, as well as offer a sample of Lost Innocence since he has decided to name the book after the project. They make their plans to meet in 10 days along with the moving truck to help coordinate Jess's relocation to her apartment.

 _ **Across Town Becketts Apartment**_

Kate could not believe it, how **stupid stupid stupid** could she have been, it was bad enough for the Locker Room talk of the men, but pictures, really? Taken in the most intimate times. What jerk does that, anyway, and Why did it take losing Castle to know what kind of man he truly was. To make matters worse she was suspended and may very well be fired, because of this douche bag, God she needed to talk to Castle, he always knew what to do.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, she finds Alexis's phone number and places the call. Alexis answers on the second ring with her adult voice, "Alexis Castle, how can I help You"

Kate smiles to herself just how adult this little girl is, then hears "Hello, is anyone here?"

"Hi Alexis, this is Kate, eh Detective Beckett, I was just wondering if you knew how I could reach your father, I have some important news and I really need to speak to him."

"I'm sorry Detective Beckett, Dad is with Jess in her new apartment, and anyway he told Gram and I we were not to tell you where he is or what he is doing, I'm sorry Detective can I help you with anything else?"

Kate almost chokes up with emotion but manages to squeak out "No Alexis, I don't want you to get into trouble with your father so thanks and let's pretend this call never happened, OK?"

"OK Detective, I hope you are feeling better Dad said you were a train wreck waiting to happen, not sure what he meant by that, but I when I asked he just said you weren't feeling like yourself, Good Bye Detective."


	14. Chapter 14

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **A/N The next few chapters are going to be rough for the Caskett Shippers, I ask you to be patient as this as the tittle indicates is a Journey, not a sprint**

 **A/N 2 We didn't get as far into the journey as planned last chapter, BUT we will, sometimes they just get carried away.**

 **A/N to the guest reviewer that wasn't happy with the pace, thanks but find someone else to troll, your reviews are marked for auto delete To all other guests thanks for the positive feedback and suggestions**

Chapter 14

Previously

" _I'm sorry Detective Beckett, Dad is with Jess in her new apartment, and anyway he told Gram and I we were not to tell you where he is or what he is doing, I'm sorry Detective can I help you with anything else?"_

 _Kate almost chokes up with emotion but manages to squeak out "No Alexis, I don't want you to get into trouble with your father so thanks and let's pretend this call never happened, OK?"_

" _OK Detective, I hope you are feeling better Dad said you were a train wreck waiting to happen, not sure what he meant by that, but I when I asked he just said you weren't feeling like yourself, Good Bye Detective."_

Kate is in a state of shock, Castle, Blocking her from his life, Why? She thinks to herself, Why Not, what did you ever offer him besides telling him how much you didn't want him. Then when you got the physical need, he was good enough, and boy was he good in bed, but you opted for the cute boy toy, Kate you are an idiot. She is weeping again now, finally facing the fact that probably Castle is never going to speak to her again, and he had moved on, with Jess or whatever Miss Priss's name was. She knows that isn't fair, but she needs someone to blame as she pours herself a half glass of vodka and grabs a book by Pattison, and heads to bed. Another long and sleepless night awaits her and now she doesn't even have work to buffer her hurt, what a mess she has made.

Jess has booked an early flight to Boston the next day and as she prepares to check out of the Embassy Suites for the last time, her phone rings with her favorite ring tone, Rick's. "Good Morning Jess, if you look out the front doors you will see a Grey Mercedes with some fool waving, do you see us?"

Jess is laughing hysterically at the site of Rick in a chauffer's cap waving his cap and smiling from ear to ear, "I see you Mr. Castle, is that really you or did you hire a double to come to my hotel, I know 5:30 AM is not a time you see very often."

Rick begins that deep throat laugh that Jess loves so well as he responds, "Jess I assure you it is I, Rick, I don't trust my most treasured friends with just anyone, especially not cabs at this hour. Please allow me to accompany you to the airport, Please?" as the little boy whine comes out.

Jess feels that warm glow flood through her body when she thinks about the words Rick just used, Most Treasured, wow, "Rick you know I can't resist you little boy begging routine, so yes I will be right out as soon as I check out and settle my account here."

"Jess, it's already been taken care of, and PLEASE don't be angry I just like doing things for people I care about, OK?"

Jess thinks for a second, then responds "Rick, I'll accept this time, but you have to stop, I need to take care of my finances, and as much as I appreciate all your kindness, I don't want anyone to think I took this job to take advantage of your wealth."

"I'm sorry Jess, I never thought how it would look from your end, and you are right, forgive me?"

"I will if you let me get out of here before I miss my plane you goof" as they both break out in laughter.

The actual driver retrieves his cap from Rick and places Jess's bags in the trunk as Rick assists Jess into the back of the private limo. Jess looks deep into his eyes and purrs, "Rick, you are spoiling me, being so sweet and doing everything in your power to make my life a pure joy."

"Is that so bad Jess, did I do something wrong or offend you in anyway?"

"No, not at all Rick, it's just that, well I mean, uh,"

"Jess, please just tell me, I can't bear to think I hurt you when you are going to be gone for such a long time"

"Rick, it's 10 days, and I will miss you too, it's just that I am getting used to you treating me like this and I don't know if I can stand it should it ever stop, you are ruining me for any other man" she rushes out as the blush creeps fully into her face.

Rick takes the initiative this time, reaching down slowly, he turns Jess to face him, gently cups her cheeks in his hands, and places a very soft sweet kiss slowly on her perfect lips. "I never thought things moved this fast, but Jess, I don't want to be away from you at all, that might be stupid, and I may be rushing things, but I think you like me a little anyway."

"Rick, I like you more than a little bit, but we need to take things slow, you are coming off something I don't even know what, but I know your heart was broken, and I would rather die than to cause you that pain again. Am I being stupid or does that make sense, please be honest, we need honesty in everything" she rushes out in one breath.

Rick smiles that special smile she swears he saves just for her, and whispers "It's not stupid at all, you're right, we still need to discuss what has happened in my past, it's not fair to you to enter into anything beyond this. I feel the same way, I would never hurt you, and I agree we need to be honest with each other in everything, lies nearly destroyed me and I am not sure I can go through that again, OK?" "Just know that taking it slow means I still get to kiss you from time to time, after all you started it."

She laughs, grabs his face and plants a kiss on him that is meant to last the ten days they are apart, breaking apart, his eyes are watering, and she is breathless as they both whisper "WOW". Timing was perfect as they look out and see they have arrived at departing flights, Rick frowns, but Jess reaches up and kisses him softly, and says "I'll call you via skype or Facetime every night Rick, we won't be totally apart, OK?"

Rick smiles the sad smile, and replies with his own gentle kiss, and breathes, "you promise?" "text me when you land OK?"

"Promise" she whispers

Rick walks her as far as he can before she goes through security, and being aware of the public environment, they limit their goodbye to a hug and quick peck on the lips. As much as they were aware, behind the plant by the coffee stand is the paparazzi who snaps a series of shots, including the kiss. He thinks to himself, well Rent is paid this month as Rick heads back to the limo unaware of what just happened.

 **Becketts Apartment 5:30 AM same day**

Beckett looks at the clock again, and finally decides to get up, she hasn't slept anyway so just tossing and turning is more frustrating. Making an extra strong cup of coffee, she begins to think about her job, rather than focus on Castle, hell he is gone anyway and there is no coming back from that.

Having a father who is an attorney has its perks, one who is an early riser is even better. She reaches out and grabs her phone from the counter, she presses 2 for Dad on her speed dial, and is surprised when he answers half way through the first ring.

"Katie, what's wrong, are you OK? Should I come over"

"Dad, slow down, how do you know something is wrong and why would you want to come over?"

"Katie it's 5:30 AM and you never call me till after 6:00 PM unless something is drastically wrong, so spill I need to leave for a breakfast meeting in 30 minutes."

Through some tears, anger, from Kate and Jim both she finally gets through the events that got her suspended, including the pictures that were being shown around the locker room. Kate is so embarrassed, and to Jim's credit has handled this mess very well, not saying much till she has worked her way through her story.

"Katie, you know this is not my specialty but let me do some discrete inquires to see if we have a case against your boyfriend,"

"He's not my Damn Boyfriend Dad, hasn't been for a while, I just can't believe I was so foolish to throw my relationship with Castle away for this scum bag."

"What do you mean Katie, Isn't Castle still on your team? That man loved you and it would take heaven and earth to get him to leave your side"

"Well Dad, I managed to do that as well, he is gone and won't even return my calls or texts for me to apologize and I have to live with the awful way I treated and allowed others to treat him, I am such a fool"

"Wow Katie when you make a mess, you don't do it small time do you? Let me check this out and I'll call you, and honey that man loves you so see what you can do to get him back, that's the last time I saw you happy was with him. I'll call you in a day or so, Love you,"

"Love you too Dad, and Thanks. You really think he loves me as much as you said,"

"Katie, I know what he was like when you were together, it's up to you to make it right and I just don't know how, Good Luck, Bye"

Kate completes laundry, shopping, paying bills, and cleaning the entire apartment, twice and it is still only 10:00 AM. She reaches for her phone dreading the next call but knows she must get it over with.

Kate dials and Lanie picks up on the first ring, "Girl what the hell did you do, one minute you are kicking your Boyfriends Ass, the next he is on the way to the hospital and you are suspended, what gives, and girl, you better level with me"

"Lanie, he is not my boyfriend, and had I known when I was sparring with him that he had taken photos when we were intimate I would have killed him, no need for the hospital. Any way IA was present during the alleged beating and are ruling it harassment by a Senior Detective for revenge for the pictures and get this we both are facing a morals charge and I am immediately suspended for 30 days pending a hearing. Montgomery went through the roof, and I'm not sure if he believed me or not when I told him I had no knowledge that Demming was showing pictures around the locker room as well as the boy talk, in fact his comment to me was, Yeah Right, made me fell cheap and foolish. He even asked why I threw Castle away for such a scum bag, seems like everyone knew but me."

"Kate, why do you think that is, it was pretty obvious to us all, but you bit our heads off, especially Castle when anyone would say a word about Pretty Boy. Girl do you even remember some of the remarks you and Boy Toy threw at Rick? If you do then you know I was embarrassed by the way you treated Rick, after all this time you threw him to the curb like yesterday's trash."

"Lanes, I can't stand another lecture now, Please, I need to let Castle know how sorry I am, and beg him to at least take a call from me, I even tried Alexis, and she told me he was with Jess at her new apartment, and that her Dad didn't want her or Grams to let me know what he was doing. That almost killed me Lanie, I didn't know he could be so cruel."

"Kate you are not going to want to hear this, but Rick being Cruel? Girl you better look in the mirror, that man gave you more opportunities to walk all over his heart and it seems you took advantage of everyone of them, and you call him cruel, when he is trying to survive? Get over yourself Kate, you are my friend, I love you, but I don't know who you have become, and you are not the same friend you were two months ago."

"Lanes, what do I do I am drowning here, and the only help I have received is my poor Dad listening to the entire sordid affair and trying to find some legal help that will keep it quiet, God Lanie, what if Dad see's those picture, I just want to die."

"Kate, I have an idea, but I am not telling you anything yet to get your hopes up, it might blow up in my face, and if it does best if you don't know about it. I am at work and I gotta go, call your when I know something."

A/N Bit long for my usual Chapters but could not find a logical stopping point. Any idea what Lanie is up to? Reviews are nice, Thanks to all who have, some I could not respond to.


	15. Chapter 15

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **A/N The next few chapters are going to be rough for the Caskett Shippers, I ask you to be patient as this as the tittle indicates is a Journey, not a sprint**

Chapter 15

 **Previously**

"Lanes, what do I do I am drowning here, and the only help I have received is my poor Dad listening to the entire sordid affair and trying to find some legal help that will keep it quiet, God Lanie, what if Dad see's those picture, I just want to die."

"Kate, I have an idea, but I am not telling you anything yet to get your hopes up, it might blow up in my face, and if it does best if you don't know about it. I am at work and I gotta go, call your when I know something."

Rick is feeling lower than he has felt in many weeks with Jess on an airplane headed for Boston, Gosh, how is he going to survive ten days without that smile, those gentle lips, ooops better stop it right there, they both agreed to take it slow. He looks at his watch, a little past 8:00 AM so he decides to grab a coffee then walk the three blocks to Black Pawn for his 9:00 AM Meeting, not looking forward to seeing his ex-wife and publisher Gina and having to sell the idea of Lost Innocence like it was some piece of cookware.

 **12:30 PM Black Pawn Offices**

The meetings have been a disaster, it seems the more he pushes the harder Black Pawn pushes back, Gina even called in the big guns from Legal, and her boss, the Managing Editor Rob Bartow. They have reached an impasse by 11:45 AM and any more discussions would be futile, so Rick leaned over to Paula and whispered, "I'm out of here, you handle the rest of this crap."

Rick excused himself and to most of the meeting participants appeared to be taking a Nature Break, until he had not returned after 40 minutes. Gina looked over her reading glasses directly at Paula Haas, Rick's Agent and asked, "OK Paula what the hell is going on, where is he? This is getting childish and we need to resolve this, so we can set schedules." Whether she was posturing for the Big Guns or not Paula did not take kindly to the tone of her voice, so she was very direct in her response, "I'm his freaking agent Gina, you were the one that was married to him, how the hell do I know where he went. If I had to bet I would guess his attorney's office since it was your choice to start the legal battle, not a smart move Gina, Rick doesn't like to be pushed, you should have learned that from your divorce."

Gina is fit to be tied, but she really is in a hard spot, so she adjourns the meeting and in her sweetest voice said, "Paula, when you hear from Rick, please have him call me, I just want to be sure he is well. I know things have been stressful for him lately."

Paula in her nasal tone replied in typical fashion, "Get real Gina your concern with my client is the same as it was when you were married, how much money can the Golden Goose make you." After a brief stare down, Paula exists Black Pawn wondering just where Rick went, and what mess would she need to clean up now.

Rick is missing Jess more now than ever, he left Black Pawn knowing full well they were not going to back his new book, or his project. He called his Business Lawyer and asked for a meeting, after he had reviewed every detail of his contract with Black Pawn, it really pissed him off that Gina had brought in the big guns and he felt betrayed. While he waits for the lawyer to call back, he decides to go for a walk-through Central Park to clear his head.

He is surprised at how little he thinks of Beckett and the 12th even when He walks by a crime scene they had worked earlier in his shadowing. Almost as quick as she came into his mind, she was replaced with the picture of Jess, who had just texted she had arrived safely at Logan Airport and would call tonight at 7:00 PM. He is almost lost in his thoughts when his phone rings, expecting it to be his attorney he answers with out checking the caller ID.

 **1:15 PM Central Park**

"Did you go through the entire contract Bob?" "Castle?" Lanie asks, it's Lanie and I really need to talk to you for a few minutes, please don't hang up." Kicking himself for not checking Caller ID, he replies "Sure Lanie I have a few minutes, I'm in between meetings."

"I'll keep it short Rick, and I want to start by saying how sorry I and the boys are about how things turned out. Believe me Kate is sorry****** she is cut off immediately at the sound of Kate's name. "Lanie, I don't want to hear a word about Beckett, she made her choice and it sure wasn't me. I never thought she could be cruel but guess we were both wrong, anyway, no more talk about her, got it?"

"Got it Rick, but I need a favor for a friend and was hoping you could find it in your heart to help, I understand if you can't but please hear me out, can you do that, Please?"

"Something tells me I am going to hear about this one way or another, right Lanie," then Rick releases a breath into the phone "Why can't I ever say no to you Lanie, God knows I want to,"

"Because deep down Writer Man you love me, and you know it,"

"Right better spill it Lanie, time is wasting, and I am in the middle of some serious negotiations.

Lanie goes through the scenario, leaving both Kate and Demming's name out of the conversation, but she is certain Rick knows exactly who she is talking about. She hears him breathe the word Bastard when she talks about the photos Demming has been sharing. When she is finished there is silence,

"Rick are you still there?"

"Yes Lanie, I am here. I'll text you a phone number, call and tell George the exact same story as you just told me, and Lanie, you can use their names with George. Setup and appointment and call Paula, to insure there is only one copy of the photos, she will know how to handle that."

"Rick Thank You, I know how hard this is for you,"

"Lanie, one more thing, this call never happened, if my name comes up then the deal is off, Got It, and believe me when I say this is not negotiable"

"Got it Rick, and please the boys and I would love to see you, pick a place and time and we will meet you, just the 3 of us and you, Please?"

"Thanks, Lanie, I'll think about it, got a lot going now so tell the boys Hi, BUT keep this between us, Gotta Run, talk soon "the call disconnects and Lanie is thanking God Rick is such a generous man, there is hope for her friends' career after all.

 **1:45 PM Central Perk Coffee Shop**

Rick has walked through central park until he is calm enough to be seen in public again, so he decides to get a cup of coffee, maybe that would help his pounding head. He has just sat down in a back booth and begin to enjoy his coffee when once again his phone chirps. This time he checks caller ID, and it is indeed the lawyer he had been waiting for the call from.

"Hey Bob, give me some good news, I just can't stand any bad at this point"

"Well Rick, you are in luck, all we have on the agenda is good news, in fact it is great news"

"Really Bob, don't tease me, I am not in the mood seriously how bad are we going to get hit by Black Pawn?"

"Ricky, oh ye of little faith, you hire the best to cover your ass, and that is exactly what we did in your last contract. Black Pawn can only hold you to commit to one final book, be it Storm or Heat your choice, and since they have exercised their right of first refusal for your new work, I negotiated a deal with First American Publishing for the initial book, with options to be negotiated after sales of the first quarter. They are aware of where the proceeds are going and have reduced management fees by 50% and the initial deal will match what Black Pawn paid you for your last Best Seller."

Rick is sitting in the booth almost speechless, thinking that surely this was a joke or Bob had something wrong. "Bob forgive me, but did you just say what I think I heard?"

"Ricky I will email you the written agreement, and the contract will need to be signed in the next 7 days, so we will need to get together soon, and by the way I just brought legal council at Black Pawn up to speed so stay away from there and especially your ex-wife. Someone is going to get fired over this, but not our problem"

"Bob do I need to speak to Paula, or is she up to speed?"

"What the hell do you think you pay me" for comes the nasal tone over the phone, "and if you haven't figured it out yet pretty boy you are on speaker phone and I did most of the work, Bob just finalized it"

Both Bob and Rick break out in full blown laughter and one huge load is lifted form Rick's shoulders.

"Thanks Paula, Bob, you both are the best and Paula please forward me the contract tonight, so I can get it back to you before anyone changes their mind, I got to go, but Thanks again to you both."

 **5:30 PM Same Day NY Morgue**

Lanie has been on the phone for most of the afternoon, but all the work is paying off, Rick wasn't kidding when he said I know a guy, he sure as hell did. It turns out the attorney Rick had sent contact information to Lanie, was George McBride, an old classmate of Johanna Beckett and once he had heard all the details, took the case with the condition that Jim Beckett be appointed Kate's legal representative, and no contact information could be sent to Kate.

Since Jim was acting as the actual client and being an Attorney, he was bound by Client Confidentiality agreement. Lanie was finally able to corral all three in a conference call and agreed upon the conditions, waiver signed and sent, and all that remained was Kate's signature on the release document. She knew that this was not going to go well with her, but she wasn't going to waste perhaps the only opportunity she had to keep her job and recoup some of her honor. A visit to Kate's apartment was her next step after she negotiated the fee with Mr. McBride. She reached his office just before he was leaving for the day,

"Hello George McBride, here, how can I help you?"

"Mr. McBride this Kate Beckett's friend Lanie and I only have one question before I leave to get her signature, she will demand to know the cost of this action"

"Lanie, I thought it was understood that this is being handled under Mr. Castle's retainer, he authorized the billing this morning before I even heard from you. Is that a problem?

"No, No, not at all, I was just clarifying this and thanks so much for your time, Good night Mr. McBride"

Lanie thinks well this is going to be fun, she can't know anything about the case, her Dad is handling that, and she can't know it is coming from Rick, or the deal is blown. McBride is one of the most expensive attorneys in New York, but most of his opposition settle rather than face the embarrassment of having their butt handed to them in an open court room. Yes, this is going to be fun, I may have to smack her for real this time.

A/N Before I hear from all the legal beagles out there I am not an Attorney, so we took it to the court of Common Sense. It makes the story flow, so live with it please.


	16. Chapter 16

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **A/N The next few chapters are going to be rough for the Caskett Shippers, I ask you to be patient as this as the tittle indicates is a Journey, not a sprint**

 **A/N Lot of conversation in this chapter, to me it is important and is laying the foundation for future developments, hope I don't lose you here. Thanks for reading**

Chapter 16

 **Previously**

"Lanie, I thought it was understood that this is being handled under Mr. Castle's retainer, he authorized the billing this morning before I even heard from you. Is that a problem?

"No, No, not at all, I was just clarifying this and thanks so much for your time, Good night Mr. McBride"

Lanie thinks well this is going to be fun, she can't know anything about the case, her Dad is handling that, and she can't know it is coming from Rick, or the deal is blown. McBride is one of the most expensive attorneys in New York, but most of his opposition settle rather than face the embarrassment of having their butt handed to them in an open court room. Yes, this is going to be fun, I may have to smack her for real this time.

 **Beckett's Apartment 6:00 PM Same Day**

"Lanie, I thought you were going to call when you found out some news" Kate spews as Lanie comes barging through her door.

"Well girl I got news, some you are gonna like and some you aren't but I am here to tell you as your friend this is the **ONLY** way we can win this and save your skinny ass, so I need to hear you say, Lanie I trust you and I will do what you say"

"You are out of your mind if you think I am going to agree to something like that without knowing the facts, I never trusted anyone to that degree except Ri**" as Kate chokes on the last word finally realizing just how much trust she had placed in her former partner.

"Yea, well somewhere that didn't go so well, and Rick is not here, you got me and I have worked my Ass off to save yours so you are going to listen to me Kate Beckett, then either you do as I say or you start applying for jobs with Parking Enforcement cause that's the only badge your going to be wearing. You got that," as Lanie shoots Kate a look that instills fear even in the veteran detective.

"We'll talk, and I promise to agree to as much as I can" Kate bargains,

"Na Na, this ain't no flea market where we dicker back and forth, you got two choices, yes and I work to save you, no then I am out the door and you are on your own, so Kate Beckett, time for you to make up your mind. I am tired, hungry, and crabby and I love Rick even more for putting up with you this long, what's it gonna be?" Lanie hasn't budged an inch,

"OK, I really hate this but if it is the way it has to be to save my job, then I am in, I agree Lanie." Katie relinquishes

Lanie chooses her words very carefully as she explains to Kate what is going on, and every time Kate tries to ask a question Lanie gives her the death glare, till finally Kate just agrees knowing at least her father knows what is going on, and after this morning's conversation she was in no hurry to revisit that. She grabs the release form and scribbles her name across the signature line, Lanie signs below as the witness dates it with date and time and quickly puts it in her bag.

Kate feels bad that she has put her friend through all this work and stress, even on a long work day, "Lanes, got some good wine, care for a glass?"

"Oh Sweetie, Rain Check Please, if I drank that now I would be sleeping on your couch. I just got to get home and get some rest. You call me if you need me, I mean it,"

One quick hug and Lanie is out the door as fast as she came leaving Kate to wonder just what the hell was going on, and just who did her friend involve to save her, hopefully it will be worth it. Kate turns to the couch and her now cold TV Dinner and dumps it in the trash, she suddenly has no appetite.

 **Castles Loft Same Day 7:00 PM**

Rick has the computer booted and ready in his office with the 55-inch screen, since he is expecting a Skype call from Jess any minute. Precisely at 7:00 PM the screen lights up with the picture of a beautiful Brunette, looking lovelier than ever.

"Hey Jess, how are you feeling after the flight and getting back to the old stomping grounds?"

"Well hey there Rick, let me say something before I answer your question, ok? I MISS YOU, the flight was good, someone had me bumped to First Class, you wouldn't know anything about that would you" she laughs,

"Well maybe but I wanted your trip to be comfortable, and I MISS YOU more than you know"

Jess notices Rick looks tired, and calls him on it, "Hey there you look exhausted, something you're not telling me? Everything OK? Rick, remember honesty in everything Right?"

"How do you do that, within 2 minutes you bust me, well everything ended up Great, but it was pretty tough morning."

"Oh No not Gina, did she put you through the ringer for wanting to do Lost Innocence?"

"She was part of the problem, but we can discuss that when you get home, I want to tell you the good parts of today OK?"

"I'm all ears Rick, can't wait to hear some good news"

Rick goes through his conversation with Paula, his walk in the park and eventually the conversation with his attorney Bob, leaving out the call from Lanie till he can address this issue face to face. He can tell Jess is almost in tears when he tells her Black Pawn rejected the book, so he quickly adds BUT we got a better deal from First American Publishing with options for additional books if they sell. He never pictured Jess as a Squealer, but she let out a howl of happiness that would rival Alexis and her parties. This time the tears did fall, but Rick knew they were happy tears.

"Rick I am so proud of you, you will never know just how special you are just the way you are, I can't wait to get home to you"

"I miss you and I only have 211.25 hours left till I see you, but who's counting"

He hears Jess half laugh, half cry, "Hey it's OK I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry, Jess"

"I may get a chance to come home early, it would mean taking less for the Apartment than the first offer, but the secondary offer wants to close at once" Jess speaks through her tears,

"Jess take the lower offer, Hell if I knew that you needed to close a real estate deal I would have had my attorney handle it for you"

"Rick you're sweet but remember we talked about me doing things for myself, but now that I am here, and you are there I wish I hadn't been so independent. You don't know what you do to me to see you there and not be able to at least hold your hand"

"Jess is there any other reason you need to be in Boston? I am not prying if you need to see friends or do things that are none of my business, just tell me to butt out"

"Rick, I saw my Sister today, not much has changed between us, but she is my Sister and I always reach out when I am here. Other than the apartment sale I am done with Boston"

"Jess, PLEASE don't be angry or take this the wrong way, BUT I could have you home tonight by private jet and let my real estate attorney handle the sale if you let me, I need you here for the project of course"

"Yea the Project of course it is Mr. Castle, what if I said send the jet, I just miss you too damn much to go another day without you"

"I'd say Let's call each other back in 30 minutes to give me time to schedule the jet, and contact the attorney"

"Rick, how about you call me when it is scheduled and tell me where I have to go to meet the plane"

"Jess stay where you are, the limo is on its way and will be downstairs when you are finished packing"

"Rick, Honesty, right? Well I am already packed and ready, so I will see you when I get home, can you have a sandwich or pizza delivered, the food here is not what I remembered"

"Jess, it's on the way, hate to hang up, but the quicker we end this call, the quicker I get to hold you, so I will see you in a few hours, and Jess, Thank You for being you"

After playing the high school game for a few minutes about who is going to hang up first, Jess finally blows a kiss and signs out. Rick is just beside himself with joy, a terrible day has just turned into one of the best.

Rick is just about to head in to shower and prepare for Jess's arrival when his phone chirps, indicating a text has been received. Checking the caller ID, it is from Lanie, so he opens it and reads,

 _Rick, Thank You for helping my friend today, it was a tough sell but she finally signed the release and Mr. McBride thinks he can have her problems go away within a week or so, I owe you big time Writer Man, and PLEASE we do miss you, please make it a point to see the three of us, we are your friends and none of us really realized just how good a friend you were to us until you were gone, we are sorry. Always Lanie_

Rick smiles and just puts the phone on the charger, he has a special lady to get ready for.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **A/N The next few chapters are going to be rough for the Caskett Shippers, I ask you to be patient as this as the tittle indicates is a Journey, not a sprint**

Chapter 17

 **Previously**

 _Rick is just about to head in to shower and prepare for Jess's arrival when his phone chirps, indicating a text has been received. Checking the caller ID, it is from Lanie, so he opens it and reads,_

 _ **Rick, Thank You for helping my friend today, it was a tough sell but she finally signed the release and Mr. McBride thinks he can have her problems go away within a week or so, I owe you big time Writer Man, and PLEASE we do miss you, please make it a point to see the three of us, we are your friends and none of us really realized just how good a friend you were to us until you were gone, we are sorry. Always Lanie**_

 _Rick smiles and just puts the phone on the charger, he has a special lady to get ready for._

Rick is showered, shaved and dressed in casual but comfortable jeans and a pull over shirt, Jess should be home in about a half hour, as she and the pilot both just texted of touch down at the airport and the limo is waiting for her. The sandwiches that Jess loves have just been delivered and are in the warmer, the NY Times is lying on the coffee table untouched from this morning, so to kill a few minutes Rick decides to glance through it.

Force of habit finds him on Page 6 of the Entertainment Section, when he sees them. Three grainy photos of he and Jess locked in an embrace, and of course they caught the kiss that was almost platonic enough to be acceptable for family gatherings, but of course the public would not see it that way. Jess could not be identified other than a Brunette woman, but Castle was called out in the caption **Mystery Writer Auditions New Muse?** Is Richard Castle accepting new applicants to replace his current muse Detective Kate Beckett of NYPD, 12th Precinct? Inquiries from this reporter have determined that there may be trouble in paradise for New York's own best seller and the focus of his best-selling Nikki Heat novels. The mystery woman caught locking lips with Mr. Castle at JFK Airport early yesterday morning certainly adds credence to the rumors. We have reached out to both Mr. Castle's publicist as well as NYPD and have yet to receive comment. We will keep you apprised of any developments.

Rick looks at the paper again, and for the first time since he has met her, true fear that Jess will leave strikes him. He must nip this quickly, so he pulls out his phone and calls Paula Haas, to find out how these got leaked to begin with. Paula answers her phone on the second ring, "Ricky, what has got you so uptight that you are calling me at 11:00 PM?" Rick snaps back "have you seen today's Times? Where the hell did they get those photos any way and why didn't' you have it covered?"

Paula replies, "Yea we saw them Ricky, they can't identify, the woman, and truthfully with what is going on with your Detective this could be a publicity blessing. Look I'm sorry you didn't get warning, but check your voice mails, I left you at least 6 throughout the day and I can't fix what I don't know is broken" she spits back.

"I'm sorry Paula it's just been one of those days, and I am tired, I don't want Jess in any publicity photos PERIOD, Understand? She is treated the same as Alexis, you see a photo and you get it killed. I don't expect to have this conversation again, Good Night" as he ends the call just as Jess is running through the door straight at him.

Jess is on him in a second, hugging him and squeezing and finally her hand reaches up and pull him in for a kiss second only to the one she had left him with when she left for Boston. "WOW he exclaims when they are forced to break for air, someone missed me a little"

"Rick, I missed you more than I could ever have imagined, Thank You for taking care of the apartment and getting me home tonight, I don't think I could have stood another night in a different town than you," she is kissing him with such sweet passion, not rough, but certainly not the peck they shared at JFK was it only early this morning, seems like a week.

"Jess, you are exhausted, and I have your JimmyJohns in the warmer waiting for you, why don't you eat, and I sit with you and share a drink while you catch your breath?"

"Rick, how do you know exactly what I need and when I need it, you are my man" She kisses him sweetly then heads over to the warmer rack to retrieve her dinner and grabs a bottle of water to have with her meal.

She makes her way over to the couch and pats the seat next to her, "I missed you too much to have you way over there, come over here and keep me company Please Rick" Rick finishes pouring his three fingers of Scotch and sits next to Jess, who can't seem to take her eyes off of him tonight. Jess alternates between kissing Rick and eating a bite of her sandwich and about the fourth kiss, Rick pulls her into his lap.

"You won't have to reach so far now", as Rick initiates the kiss and Jess moans into his mouth. God what would he do without this wonderful lady, he silently prays that he never has to find out.

After a while the sandwich has been devoured, and Jess is still in Rick's lap, with her head on his shoulder, almost automatically she picks up on his vibes and quietly whispers into his ear, "OK, now tell me what has you worried, you know we promised honesty in everything right?"

Rick reaches over to the table and grabs the paper and show Jess the grainy images with the caption and holds his breath.

"Rick, is this from this morning at JFK? How did they get these, and they really have to work on their technique, they actually suck at photography?"

Rick lets out a long breath, then a throaty laugh long and hard. "You mean this doesn't upset you, being on page six caught by the paparazzi?

"Why should it upset me, I'm with you, now if that was a different woman we would have some splanin to do young man" Rick roars with laughter now so relieved, he grabs Jess up into a big hug and kisses her passionately.

"Rick, please tell me this was not what had you on edge all night was it? I mean I know of your muse from what I have read in the papers, and when you are ready we will have our talk. Believe me when I say, I am not going anywhere until you tell me to leave, OK?" Ricks head has bowed slightly so Jess reaches out lifts his face to meet hers and kisses him long, slow, deep and passionately. "And before you say it, Yes I missed you more than I have missed anyone in my life,"

"Jess, I know we said we would take it slow, and I plan on doing that, I mean we will move at whatever pace you are comfortable with, but I have to say this now, I love you Jess, more than I ever thought I could love again. God, I hope I haven't ruined this, by pushing too fast and hard."

His answer comes in a second, "Rick, I love you too, I have since the day I met you and it was a lost cause for me once I met Martha and Alexis. I feel like you are my family, one I haven't had in a long time"

"Jess, please don't take this the wrong way, but I want you to know everything about me, before we go to the final deed, it has to be as special as you are to me."

Jess has tears streaming down her face, Rick thinks oh God I did it now, when he hears a small voice "Rick, that was the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me. Just because we agreed to hold off on the home runs doesn't mean I can't get in some batting practice does it?" She laughs and kisses Rick once again except this time she has taken his hand and begins to walk toward his bedroom,

"Remember, no home runs but batting practice commences now" as she throws him on the bed and begins a good old make out session. The last thing Rick remembers is Yes this turned out to be a great day.

A/N This seemed to be a logical stopping point. Next Chapter we visit the other parties to gauge their reaction to the Times Article, Thanks for reading


	18. Chapter 18

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **A/N Got a couple of Anon saying Matt did this or that, Appreciate the input, but we all have our own writing style and I would NEVER try to put myself in his class of writers. The timeline seems to confuse some, Beckett was with Demming for over 2 months, Rick met Jess the first week he left so by now it has been 3 months or longer. ** **I'm working on eliminating the confusion going forward, thanks for the input**

 **Chapter 18**

 **Previously**

" _Remember, no home runs but batting practice commences now" as she throws him on the_

 _bed and begins a good old make out session. The last thing Rick remembers is Yes this_

 _turned out to be a great day._

The next morning Espo and Ryan arrive at the station a full hour before normal, they want to make sure Montgomery knows that they are up to the task, and what better way to protect Beckett than to be privy to any inside information. Espo is just about to get a cup of coffee when he is approached by Detective Karpowski holding something in her hands looking pissed. "Hey Esposito, can we talk for a minute?"

Espo motions to the Break Room and replies "sure Karpowski what's on your mind?" As they enter the Break Room, Karpowski turns and locks the door and pulls the blinds leaving Espo with a What the Hey look on his face.

"What's going on Karpowski, and why the need for privacy?"

"Have you seen yesterday's Times and not just the Sports Section?"

Espo looks a little sheepish knowing just how shallow he appears, "No not yet, it's on today's agenda" he lies.

"Sure, it is, well you better make it priority then, take a look at these" throwing the article from page six down on one of the tables.

Esposito picks the paper up, and begins to seethe, "I'll kick his ass for hurting Beckett like this, that SOB, no matter how mad he is at her she doesn't deserve to have this rubbed in her face for all of New York to see." Ryan is knocking on the door, and once Espo peeks through the blinds, he opens the door and almost pulls Ryan through.

"Ryan look at what Castle has done to our girl, I'm going to go kick his ass and put some sense into him, no one treats one of us this way." Ryan is reading the article as the steam pours out of Espo, when Ryan responds,

"Hang on Javi, I don't like this either, but you know Beckett had hooked up with Demming over 2 months ago and really treated Castle like crap. Maybe he is just trying to move on, he did say Good Bye to us all when he left, and I just can't see him staging this to hurt Beckett. Besides we don't know how old these pictures are, they could have been from before he even started at the 12th. Why don't you check with Lanie to see if she knows anything before you go off and get yourself suspended too, Montgomery is still boiling over this,"

"I'll check with Lanie, but I still want to kick his ass" Espo fumes.

Karpowski who had been standing by as the boys exchanged comments finally spoke up, "Guys you know it's all around the precinct that Demming was showing pictures of them doing the deed, and the Morals charge is what got Beckett suspended pending a hearing. As a woman I don't know what the hell got into Kate, she had it all with Castle and she chased a Dip Shit like Demming? Espo I know you are protective, but you better cool off, Castle has the resources to have you transferred to Port Authority Traffic detail if you go charging in on him."

Espo walks off muttering under his breath while Ryan thanks Karpowski for bringing it to their attention. "Give him a little time Roz, Espo will cool off, Kate is like a sister to him"

"I know Ryan, but from the vantage point of most us in the station, Kate destroyed a good man for a romp in the sack with the new pretty boy, some are even saying she got played for how she has treated Rick for the last two years, Karma is a nasty B," with that she raises the blinds and leaves leaving the paper with Ryan.

Lanie is dictating the results from the latest victim when her phone rings, Espo, of course she thinks declining the call and never missing a word in her dictation. The phone rings again, Espo again, and she declines the call once again, finally finishing the report on the recording machine. Her phone chirps with a text simply marke call me from Espo. I'm going to kill him if this is about the football pool she thinks as she dials his desk phone.

He answers the call on the first ring, "Lanie we got a problem that might impact Kate, can you meet for coffee at the shop down the street?"

"Javi I am busy, this better be important or I am going to do more that smack you, yea I will be there give me 10 minutes."

Esposito walks over to Ryan's desk and speaks low informing him to meet Lanie and him at the Coffee Shop in 10 minutes, and to bring the paper. Ryan acknowledge with a simple nod and Espo makes his way out of the Precinct to get a private table.

 **Broadway Coffee Shop, 2 Blocks from the 12** **th**

 **15 minutes later**

Espo has secured a table in the back and requested, well showed his badge and commandeered a group of tables for privacy. He sits in a cop's normal position, facing the doors and windows when he spots Ryan making his entrance and right behind is Lanie, good we need to get Castle straightened out he thinks as the other two are seated.

Once the coffees are served, he dismisses the server once again showing his badge and requesting privacy.

Lanie rolls her eyes at him and spits out "Javi what the hell is going on, you're all cloak and dagger and now you are scaring the hell out our poor server, this had better be good."

"Show her the paper Bro" he directs Ryan. Lanie puts her coffee down and almost spits out the sip she had just taken.

"What the hell, when was this taken Javi, spill I need to know everything."

"When I saw the article, I called my buddy over at TSA, he sent over some surveillance tape from yesterday, it appears Castle and this mystery woman were there for a flight to Boston at 6:30 AM, I got Tory working on cleaning up the image, so we can see who this Chica is"

"Yesterday morning at 6:30 Javi, are you sure about the time?"

"Positive Chica, the tape is even time stamped."

"Javi you need to back off this, I mean ALL of this. Ryan you too, I can't tell you everything, but Rick is not the enemy in this, if you want to kick anyone's ass, it's Demming, not Rick."

"What are you talking about Lanie, he's making Kate look like a fool in front of all of New York, I'm not going to let him get away with that" Espo spits out.

"Javi, hear me, and hear me good. Kate **was** the fool in this, and if you say one more thing about Rick Castle and hurting him, I will make you and your man parts sorry you were ever born, do you Understand me?"

Javi sits with his mouth open in disbelief and Ryan is just about as confused. "Guys you have to trust me on this, I love Kate, she has been my best friend for years, but you have to back off this and forget you even saw it. I'm leaving to go see Kate to make sure she is O.K. God knows what this will do to her, I'll call you later with an update."

With that Lanie is up and out of the coffee shop leaving two detectives scratching their heads about what just happened. When did Lanie become President of the Richard Castle Fan Club, things were not adding up, but neither detective were willing to test Lanie's threats, so they returned to their desks and tried to carry on as usual.

 **Becketts Apartment**

 **45 minutes later**

Kate is standing in front of a portable murder board reconstructing the crazy events of the last day when she hears a knock on her door, from the impact made she knew it could only be one person, Lanie. She slides the board back into her bedroom closing the door and calls out "Be there in a second Lanie". A minute later a replay of the day before occurs as Lanie is barging through the door just giving Beckett time to step aside. She clearly has something on her mind but what?

"Lanie, not that I'm not glad to see you but what the hell are you doing here, aren't you supposed to be working? I told you I am fine, I am dealing with the mess I made so if you came to check on me, I am better so no need to worry."

"Katherine Beckett, you are an Ass, my best friend but still and Ass. I just came from meeting with the boys trying to keep Javi from going after Castle. Did you tell them that it was you that Fricked Up?

No of course not, Kate Beckett doesn't screw up, it's always Castle that caused it somehow. Damn it Kate I am sick of that poor man getting screwed over and then having to keep YOUR friends from trying to beat the hell out of him for your screwups." Lanie is on a roll and it is flowing, and all Kate can do is stand there open mouthed in her apartment listening to her best friend ream her.

"Lanie, clearly something has happened to set you off, why don't we get a cup of coffee and sit and talk, and start at the beginning, OK?" Lanie nods her head and heads for the coffee cups as does Kate then both head for the sitting area and take their seats.

"Now Lanes what happened to set you off, I haven't spoken to you since the news yesterday so how could I have pissed you off so much?"

"Kate, have you seen the Times from yesterday yet?"

"No Lanie it's on the counter over there, I was going to look at it over dinner tonight, not that much is happening that I want to hear about anyway."

"Kate maybe more than you know is happening, look at this and before you go nuts, stop and let's talk OK?" Lanie flips the section over to Kate and starts to hold her breath.

"Lanie, is this true, I mean has anyone checked it out or it could be someone posting something off Castle's website, you know what they will do to push book sales" Kate says not even believing her words herself.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry but it is true, Javi got tape from TSA and Torey cleaned it up to verify it was taken in front of security lines for a flight to Boston yesterday morning at 6:30 AM. Apparently, a paparazzi was hiding behind a coffee stand and snapped them as Rick dropped Mystery Lady off for her flight, I'm sorry"

"No, no it's fine Lanie, I mean we are nothing more than ex partners, so this shouldn't surprise me or upset me, right? The mystery woman's name is Jess, she is the one Castle was with when I tried to get Alexis to answer some questions, apparently he moved on without any trouble" a tear falls from her eye before Beckett toughens up shoots Lanie a fake smile.

"You don't mean a word of that garbage and you know it" Lanie spews, and "what the hell was he supposed to do as you paraded the boy toy around, even necking in the station, and yes Kate your secret wasn't so secret. You should have seen his face Kate the day he walked around the corner with us and saw you and Demming getting it on coming out of the stairwell, I could have cried for that man."

"Oh Lanie, what have I done, no wonder he hates me. I was such a fool, I never meant to hurt Rick, I always thought we had, *****"

"Had What?" Lanie interrupts, "A friendship? What you and I have is a friendship, what you and Castle had was a long leash and a man who loved you enough to tolerate all your crap. You need to talk to that man and soon girl, time is running out IF it hasn't already, unless you like seeing him like this."

"He hates me, I blew it and now he will never know how I really feel about him, Lanie, I think I need to be alone for a while please, I may even go up to Dad's cabin I just can't take seeing another woman in his arms" Kate whines.

"Kate, he doesn't hate you, I have proof of that, but I can't disclose how I know, just trust me, I know he does love you. If you think running away will get Castle back, enjoy the cabin, and as far as seeing him with someone else, now you know how he felt. I love you girl, but you need your ass kicked for what you did, and are still doing, taking the coward's approach. Hey, I can't do this anymore, I am out of here, just let me know where you're at, so I can keep the boys apprised." Lanie turns and heads for the door leaving a very upset and sad Beckett crying once again on the couch,

TBC

A/N Sorry the rough times still aren't over. I thought Beckett got a free pass and the writers missed an opportunity to show a more human side of Super Cop

A/N I am going out of town so I am going to publish some extra chapters to make up for being gone. Thanks for reading and reviewing. As always Trolls, disrespectful, or hurtful posts will be deleted. For the guest who said they were loosing interest, Pick another story, there are thousands, or better yet try to write one yourself.


	19. Chapter 19

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 19**

 **Previously**

 _"Kate, he doesn't hate you, I have proof of that, but I can't disclose how I know, just trust me, I know he does love you. If you think running away will get Castle back, enjoy the cabin, and as far as seeing him with someone else, now you know how he felt. I love you girl, but you need your ass kicked for what you did, and are still doing, taking the coward's approach. Hey, I can't do this anymore, I am out of here, just let me know where you're at, so I can keep the boys apprised." Lanie turns and heads for the door leaving a very upset and sad Beckett crying once again on the couch,_

Castle turns away from the sun streaming through the window, darn must have forgot to close the sun screen last night and as he turns his arm is met with a lump where there normally is nothing. What the HEY? Almost afraid to peek over as flashbacks of the Playboy days chased through his mind, he ventures a peek slowly opening his eyes. He is greeted with a vision of loveliness staring lovingly at him.

"Hey Good Morning, Handsome" Jess purrs never leaving her gaze deep into his eyes.

"Good Morning Jess are you always this beautiful so early in the morning" Rick whispers back which brings a blush to the cheeks of the young lady. "Oh God did I violate our agreement last night? I was so excited to see you and missed you so much, I hope I was the gentleman you deserve".

"Relax Rick, in case you haven't noticed we are both in very modest sleep clothes and yes you were the perfect gentleman" as she leans over and kisses him softly. "You weren't the only one excited last night, but I still enjoyed our make out session, can't wait to do it again"

"How about we get up, grab some breakfast, and then do some more practicing, no home runs I promise" Rick responds

Jess giggles "I guess I am never going to live that one down am I"

"Nope and I hope you don't want to" Rick responds.

Both rise and then Rick realizes Jess was correct, this was modest sleepwear, he hands Jess a robe and watches as she enters the bathroom for a quick shower. He dons his and plods out to the kitchen to start the coffee, but to his surprise it is already brewed and there at the bar sits one of the red heads.

"Good Morning Dad, Sleep Well?" Alexis asks with a wide smile across her face. "Coffee is ready if you and Jess would like a cup."

"Thanks pumpkin, wait Jess? How did you know she was here, you were at Paige's for a sleepover I thought?"

"I was Dad, and to answer your question Jess left her luggage just inside the closet and I saw it when I hung my coat up, not like some people "as she rolls her eyes and smiles

"Pumpkin, it is not what you think," *** "STOP Dad," Alexis interrupts him. "I am not a little kid and I know she has to be special, for her to sleep over and she makes you happy. I don't need or want details Dad, just don't mess this up, Jess is so sweet and real, I really like her a lot."

"Thanks pumpkin, I guess I underestimate your maturity sometimes, I'm sorry"

"No problem Dad, someday when I bring my boyfriend over you can be just as courteous"

Rick spews coffee over the sink as he chokes when it registers what his little girl has just said.

"Wait Boyfriend? No Absolutely not, you are mature but way too young for boys" as he catches Alexis laughing at his tirade.

"Gotcha Dad"

"Daughter I will get even, and you know it" as he draws Alexis into a hug."

"Like I said Dad I like Jess, and more importantly I like how happy she is making you. She is not like any of the others, and I know you like her a lot."

"How so my little genius of a daughter?"

"Because she is the ONLY woman to be here over night since Gina left" Alexis hugs her Dad and can't see the look of love, peace and joy in his eyes, the two women he loves like each other.

Jess has stopped short just out of eyesight of the kitchen after her shower, she wanted to provide Father and Daughter some alone time, and really didn't mean to overhear, BUT she did, every word. Her eyes fill with happy tears as she hears Alexis confession to her father, including the fact that no one had spent the night with Rick in a long time.

"Good Morning Alexis, Rick, your shower is fantastic Rick, makes me feel so alive."

Alexis surprises both Rick and Jess by stepping forward and draws Jess into a brief hug "Good Morning Jess, did you have a good trip home? I hope you were able to sleep OK, some nights Dad sounds like a locomotive coming through a tunnel with his snoring" which causes Jess to break out in a full laugh, and Rick to look astonished then joined with Jess and Alexis in the laughter.

"Thanks Alexis, Your Dad sent the private jet and limo, so I could avoid the airport hassles, so the trip was very good, thanks for asking. I slept like a log, and perhaps I was the little engine who tried you heard snoring," prompting another round of laughter by all.

"Well we're glad you are home, I know Dad wore out a spot in the carpet in his office missing you" Jess blushes and catches Rick's eyes which were sparkling with happiness, "Well I have to get out of here, Dad I have your credit card, we are going shopping for the dance if that is OK, oh and don't worry I already called the Car Service. Love you Dad, and you too Jess, take care of him for me"

Alexis gathers her belongings and waves a cheery good bye and walks out of the loft, leaving Jess and Rick alone at the kitchen bar.

"Wow, I never thought in a million years I would have been made to feel so welcome by your daughter, especially given the fact I just spent the night in his bedroom, she is really special Rick" Jess can hardly contain her happiness.

"I know, Right, who would have thought, I have to confess I was worried about having the talk with my little girl, but apparently she is more mature than I give her credit for" Rick boasts.

"Honesty Always right Rick?" Jess questions ever so quietly,

"Of course, Jess, is something bothering you, please let's talk, I am sure there is a solution"

"Actually, more of a confession Rick," Rick's face immediately turns ash and he is visibly worried,

"Confession Jess?"

"Yea Rick I heard Alexis telling you how she felt about me, I know I should have went back to the bedroom, but she just made me so happy I froze, it was eavesdropping, and I am so sorry Rick"

Rick pulls her into a tight embrace and kisses the top of her head, as he regains his composure, "Oh Jess I was worried for a minute, I appreciate you telling me about this, but going forward just know this is a family, which you are now part of according to my daughter" a big smile flashes across his face and Jess is fighting back tears of joy, "In families we sometimes hear things we shouldn't or don't hear things we should but the main thing is we are family. Love, Honesty and Trust between us all, OK?"

"Rick, can you take a shower please, I don't know how long I can hold out till our next Make Out session?" Both Jess Rick and Jess burst out in laughter

"I'll be out in 20 minutes, make yourself at home Jess," thinking how right this all feels, even Alexis is on board,

 **At the 12** **th** **Precinct**

Kate is in a meeting with Mr. McBride her Union Rep and Captain Montgomery, and either something was very strange, or McBride was the miracle worker everyone claimed he was. According to the official report being entered into record by an Internal Affairs Administrator all charges against Detective Beckett have been expunged, she is to return to work with full back pay, with no incident ever recorded against her.

She is also to receive an undisclosed cash settlement, negotiated by her Attorney McBride for pain and discomfort, and for her honor being besmirched by Detective Demming, who has been fired for conduct not becoming of an officer, and now faces criminal charges for voyeurism and distribution of unauthorized pornographic materials along with forfeiture of all pension and benefits effective immediately. The irony of this was he would be on the hook for his current medical stay costs caused by the injuries inflicted by Beckett.

Beckett is required to attend counseling for three sessions and be cleared by the NYPD appointed psychologist before she can return to active duty, in the interim she is on paid administrative leave, for a minimum of 4 weeks.

The hearing is over almost as soon as it began, and Beckett is almost in shock. She turned to thank Mr. McBride but he was already out of the room and on the elevator. "Detective Beckett, a word", booms Captain Montgomery

"Sir, yes sir" replied Beckett

"Kate, I hope you know just how close you came to ending your career with this last episode, without the help of Ric, uhhh powerful friends you would not be in this position."

Roy had tried to gloss over his slip, but Kate picked up on it and would not let it go. "Roy, now that this is over, please be honest with me, Did Rick have anything to do with saving my ass?"

"Kate, you know of McBride, but do you know just how difficult it is to land him as your legal counsel? IA took one look at his brief, along with Paula Hass's investigation of the pictures that dumb ass was stupid enough to have commercially reproduced, all copies have been retrieved and destroyed by the way, and I received a call from them trying to soften the hit to the city.

The next thing I know I am on the phone with the Commissioner and the Mayor discussing how to settle with you out of court. Now you tell me who has that kind of power and cares about you enough to fund the bill for it?" Roy bellows

"What? Rick payed my legal fees and involved the Mayor and Commissioner? I thought he hated me, he won't even take a call or even answer a text."

"And why is that Kate, I'm sure you had nothing to do with the shabby way Castle was treated by you, and others? Do yourself a favor, take time over the next few weeks and be honest with the Professionals who are employed to help you before you screw things up so badly, you wind up a beat cop again" Roy spewed. Kate had been on the receiving end of some of his tongue lashings, but nothing compared to this.

"Yes Sir, and Thank You Sir"

"Dismissed Detective I will see you in 4 weeks provided you have clearance, that is all, "

Kate walks out to an empty Bull Pen, very unusual but it was only 7:30 AM so not the busiest of times. Lanie's words come flooding to her, "Do what he did, DON'T Give Up" so she strolls over to Ryan's desk and picks up the phone, calling Castle's home phone. On the third ring it is answered, but not by whom she expected, a young female voice answered "Rick Castle residence can I help you" *** Kate hangs up almost dropping the phone in the process, she was there, so it really was over, He may love her enough to help her but she has killed anything past that, She hangs her head and sneaks out of the precinct.

A/N Once again some of the facts in real life or jobs may be changed to make the story flow, Please don't bash articles of law or procedure, the story is about a Love Journey

A/N Thanks for the follows, faves and reviews, All courteous and constructive criticism is appreciated, Trolls will be deleted Thanks for Reading - Tim


	20. Chapter 20

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 20**

 **Previously**

 _Kate walks out to an empty Bull Pen, very unusual but it was only 7:30 AM so not the busiest of times. Lanie's words come flooding to her, "Do what he did, DON'T Give Up" so she strolls over to Ryan's desk and picks up the phone, calling Castle's home phone. On the third ring it is answered, but not by whom she expected, a young female voice answered "Rick Castle residence can I help you" *** Kate hangs up almost dropping the phone in the process, she was there, so it really was over, He may love her enough to help her but she has killed anything past that, She hangs her head and sneaks out of the precinct._

Kate walks slowly out of the station still in a state of shock of what she just heard, a women, check that, a young attractive woman answering Castle's phone at 7:30 AM. She grabs a coffee from the street vendor as she plans the rest of her day, she should see Lanie to thank her, oh what the hell, let's get this over with.

 **NY City Morgue 9:00 AM**

Kate walks through the door, thankful her badge has been reactivated, if only for building access, and spots Lanie through the glass doors in her office.

"Hey Lanie, the hearing is over, and I wanted to stop by and say thanks for all of your help, I don't know what I would have done or what you did, but Thanks"

"How did it go girl? From the look on your face, not good, don't tell me that McBride struck out after all the hype we heard." Lanie replies with deep concern on her face

"No, actually McBride had everything covered, in fact everything went in my favor, including full back pay, record expunged, and 4 weeks paid admin leave to get over the debacle. McBride is in negotiations for a settlement from the city, which I have no idea of how much, but I know the Commissioner is not happy with Demming's Captain." Kate said

"If things went that well, why the long face and look like someone just ran over your puppy Kate? Is something else wrong?"

"Lanie you know more than you are telling me, and that's OK. Montgomery let it slip that McBride was only here because of Rick, and the Mayor and Commissioner were heavily influenced by some calls he made. He also gave me the one of the worst tongue lashings I have ever received for the way I treated Rick, and allowed others to do the same, he is still pissed at me" Kate whined

"Kate, Rick made me promise his name would not come up, or the deal was off, so please understand I couldn't tell you, or it would mean you getting fired. He really wasn't happy with me asking, but I kind of surprised him between meetings with his publisher and lawyer and got lucky that he didn't check caller ID. My God Girl, if that doesn't prove he still loves you I don't know what it is going to take to convince you."

"Lanie, she answered his phone,"

"Excuse me, who answered whose phone?"

"Jess answered Castle's land line, I sorta used Ryan's phone after the hearing to try to call him, Lanie it was 7:30 AM, no one is up in that house before 9:00 AM so she had to have spent the night there," tears begin pooling in her eyes, but Beckett bites the lower lip not willing to give in to emotions.

"Well he is a man Kate, he has needs just like you what did you expect for him to join a nunnery waiting on your ass?"

"Lanie, please I know I screwed up, but I just can't picture him in her arms, or worse his bed, ***

"The one he shared with you exclusively you mean" Lanie interrupts "My God Kate listen to yourself, you didn't want him no matter how hard he tried, and now after him helping save your job and your reputation, you still can't let him be happy! What's wrong with you, **IF** you love him like you say you do, you would only want him to be happy with or without you just like he walked away when you chose Dip Shit"

"I'm a mess Lanes, guess that's why I have to see the NYPD appointed psychologist before I can fully return"

Lanie rolls her eyes she loves her friend but is growing tired of Kate's pity party for herself "Listen Kate, no one loves you more than me, but do us all a favor, unless you commit to changing your bad habits leave me out of this, I can't stand by and see you wallow in self pity when you should be kissing the ground that Rick walks on for all he has done, and I **WILL NOT** allow you to treat Rick the same way, he is our friend too, Got It?"

Kate is stung, two tongue lashings from two close friend, not what she expected, "Lanes I'll commit to changing, and doing whatever it takes to have Rick back in my life, no matter how small a part he will give me, and if Jess makes him happy then I will have to accept that and be happy for them both, it won't be easy even if I relapse but I'll try." "I know you have work so I'm going to get out of here and start making my appointments for therapy, call me Lanes and I really do Thank You, tell Rick thanks when you can please?" Kate leaves as Lanie waves, and a sad forced smile appears on her lips.

Lanie takes out her phone and types out a quick text

 _Rick,_

 _Our girl is all well now, thanks to you, sure McB will give you details but Montgomery let it slip you helped, wasn't me I swear Rick. We miss you, Please come to see us,_

 _Lanes_

 **Castles Loft**

 **1:00 PM**

After a very long and passionate Make Out session, or Batting Practice as Jess calls it, it was time to get down to business. Rick had to get the final Nikki Heat Outline completed, and Jess was beginning to take charge of Lost Innocence just as Rick had hoped she would. Negotiations for the first land purchase, optional sites, initial plans were all on her scope and she was balancing them all like a PRO.

Rick and Jess decided to use Rick's office as Central Command for Project Lost Innocence, so some furniture was rearranged and a new desk and computer duplicating Ricks were setup for Jess. Just as the finishing touches were complete, Jess's phone chirped with a notification from her bank her in New York that the proceeds from her sale of real estate in Boston had been successfully transferred and were now available for withdrawals.

As Jess was examining the figures in the email, they seemed to be too large, so she downloaded and printed out the Bank Statement showing proceeds processed. She immediately saw where the discrepancy was, there was 0 in the column for Real Estate Commission, saving her more than $37,000. She had planned on spending.

Rick walked into the office at just the opportune time, "Rick, Sweetie can you come here a second please?" Rick looks over at Jess and starts to wonder what the heck did I do now. "Rick, remember we talked about you helping, Doll, look at this statement, there is no Real Estate Commission charged by your attorney, I appreciate the help Rick, but Sweetie you can't keep doing this"

Rick looks at her with that playful grin, "What if I told you that he is on retainer and you actually did me a favor by making him work for his monthly fee for a change, would that get me out of trouble?" "Oh, and by the way I love when you call me Pet Names, just never call me Kitten or Babe, I will explain latter OK?"

Jess looks over at Rick who is now sporting his little boy look, and no matter how hard she tries she can't keep a straight face and busts out with a deep laugh. Rick is on her in a flash hugging and tickling her and somehow, they wind up on his large leather sofa, and another Make out session goes on for a good half hour.

Jess is content in Ricks arms with her head leaning against his shoulder with him kissing the top of her head and her gently stroking his arm and thigh. "Jess, you feel like talking a little Hun?" Rick asks nervously.

"Of course, Rick, this sounds serious, did I do anything wrong?"

"Of course, not Jess, just you have been honest with me and I have a confession to make to you"

Jess's face turns ash and sweat breaks out on her brow thinking the worst, "Remember when you were in Boston and you asked me how my day went?"

"Of course, Rick, please tell me what's wrong,"

"You didn't do anything wrong Jess, just let me say I am sorry for not telling you this sooner but I needed to do it in person, please forgive me. I left out that I got a call form Lanie Parrish, the ME for New York asking for help to save Kate Beckett's job and reputation. I didn't see her or even talk to her I swear, please don't think that."

Jess begins to relax a little but still has a look of concern "Jess, the guy Kate dumped me for had played her, took pictures of intimate times and made the mistake of getting into a sparring match with Beckett, who really kicked his Ass. She was brought up on charges for Moral clause, and for assaulting another officer, which was Bull Crap. Anyway, Lanie called me and I took the call thinking it was Bob my attorney, I didn't check Caller ID, so I sent her my attorney through Lanie and her Dad and she got off and made out well, Jess I am so sorry, I am being honest with you, do you forgive me?"

"So, you provided a text to your friend and used your attorney to get the truth out of some scum bag who would take pictures at a women's most volatile moments, and you did all this without any contact her at all, is that correct?"

Now it is Rick's turn to look worried, "Yes, that is it exactly and I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

Jess turns to Rick, looking him in the eyes, gently cups his cheeks, and kisses him full and deep. "Rick I just fell in love with you all over again, do you know how precious that is to me, that you considered my feelings, when you were helping someone you had history with, but you did the right thing, and You were honest with me,"

Rick looks like the weight of the world has been lifted from him "so we're good you aren't upset that I helped Beckett out of a jam that could have cost her a career and reputation?" "I made it go through her father who is also an attorney so when I told you what had happened you would know I did everything I could not to hurt you."

Jess just kisses him again deeper and sweetly whispers, "I love you Richard Castle, I don't deserve you, but I will work every day to earn my place beside you. You have no idea just how special a man you truly are, and yes we are more than good."

Rick looks into her eyes, and echo's her "Jess, before I met you I thought my life was over, 2 failed marriages, and a relationship that was at best one sided and hurtful till she mercifully set me free. I am so glad she did, I would never cheat no matter how many problems a relationship has. When you came into my life I begin to live again, I love you Jessica Hawthorne and you will never know just how happy you make me." Rick just finishes when Jess's lips are on his, tenderly pledging her love and expressing just how happy she is.

 **45 Minutes Later**

Jess is sitting on the couch in the office, Rick is lying facing the ceiling with his head cradled in her lap, just content to spend moments together. "Rick, you know you can tell me anything right? And if you need closure or to see your other friends at the precinct I won't mind, even if she is there, you are coming home to me and I know that, honesty, always right?"

Rick looks up at her with his eyes pooling tears "You are so special you know that? I would never do anything to hurt you, you mean too much to not only me, but OUR Family. Are you sure you want to hear about the past? If I leave anything out just ask me, please I promise you I will tell you anything you want to know."

 **Two Hours Later**

Rick felt exhausted but good to finally unburden himself and be totally honest with Jess, there had been some tears, some clinched fists, not anger at him, but at those who had hurt him, Jess had become very protective of him, and he was beginning to notice the depths of her love, for him, Alexis and Martha.

She gently massaged his temples as he spoke, never saying a word, but lost in his eyes, he opened up to her like no other person in his life and he finally felt what was it, oh Freedom from those haunting memories. Now those memories were being replaced with ones of him and Jess doing happy things.

She had shared her "baggage "as she called it as well. She had lost her Dad when she was young, her sister was 10 years older and they were never close, Her Mom had just passed away before she moved to New York, and the long-time boyfriend from college days who promised to be there for her when she needed him most, wasn't.

He dumped her for her girlfriend when Jess moved into her Mothers house to care for her. She later found out he had been cheating on her for five years, so honesty and trust were demands from her as well. She let Rick hold her as she told her story, and it seemed to bring them both closer, as she finished, Rick gently wiped her tears away, and kissed her sweetly. "No More, Never Again will you feel like that, I promise you Jess" he whispered.

Rick Castle had restored her faith in men, and her belief in True Love, and she silently vowed, no matter what he needed, she would be there. She struggled with WHY would any woman treat any man, much less this sweet soul of a man the way Kate Beckett had treated him. Kate may have been his most recent Love, BUT Jess vowed she would be his last.

A/N WHEW Few milestones down, KB back on the job, Bye Demming, and Jess and Rick have had the talk, let's see what happens now, watch ratings may change Reviews are appreciated

'


	21. Chapter 21

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 21

Previously

 _Rick Castle had restored her faith in men, and her belief in True Love, and she silently vowed, no matter what he needed, she would be there. She struggled with WHY would any woman treat any man, much less this sweet soul of a man the way Kate Beckett had treated him. Kate may have been his most recent Love,_ _ **BUT**_ _Jess vowed she would be his_ _ **last.**_

 **Next Day, Beckett's Apartment**

Kate woke at her normal time of 5:30 AM and for the first time since Demming had come into her life she felt peaceful, knowing that she had been exonerated, and the scum bag would be lucky to get a Security Guard job, if he could still walk once he got out of the hospital. It was time to get back to normal and to work on her wellbeing, so she went for her normal run, but had to cutback a bit since it had been a while since she was actually running, another Demming casualty. First thing on her list get back to her 5 miles daily run.

Next after showering and doing some housework she decided she couldn't put it off any longer and started reviewing the paperwork required for her reinstatement, including a list of Psychologists NYPD would accept. She finally narrowed it down to 3, one within walking distance from the precinct, so she made the calls, and got an appointment for a week from Thursday, Dr. Burke's first appointment. The receptionist promised to send out some literature as well as homework required before the first assignment. Homework? What the hell is he talking about. She opened the mail and had a huge envelope with the legal documents from the State of New York, Department of Internal Operations and Affairs. Well so much for free time as she began to dig through the paperwork

 **Castle's Loft Same Day**

After the exhausting discussions from the night before, Rick and Jess decided to spend the night in her apartment, just in case either want to discuss anything further. What started out as "Batting Practice" ALMOST turned into a real game. Rick and Jess seemed almost as one as they sat in her apartment, just listening to soft music and cuddling on the sofa.

Rick was still amazed at the level of maturity of Jess when he was explaining away not one but two failed marriages as well as fatherhood, and a no where relationship where he could see in hindsight, was a one-way street with him going the wrong way. What amazed Rick was that Jess listened, truly heard what he said, and was never judgmental. The only emotions she showed were anger towards those that hurt him and Alexis, (Meredith was in the same category as Demming in Jess's book) and a sense of protection for her new-found family.

Jess was finishing up in the bathroom with a promise to join him shortly as Rick slipped up to his apartment to shower. Alexis had called Jess and asked them to be sure to come to breakfast, and Jess howled with laughter when she added, "oh and tell Dad I didn't Let Gram help so it will be edible". After breakfast it was going to be a full day of work for both, Jess on Lost Innocence project and Rick working on Final Heat. Rick was in and out of the shower just as Jess was walking through the front door, FINALLY using her key, after being urged by all the Castles to do so.

She walked over to Rick, smiled sweetly, put her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a sweet Good Morning Kiss. "Good morning Rick, Alexis, where is Martha?"

A noise is heard by the wine rack and Martha pops her head up, "Here I am darling, just picking out some of the good stuff my son keeps hiding from me, Really Richard why do you go through the trouble when you know I will just find it anyway". Rick just looks at Jess with that Oh Well Look and Jess is smiling and smacks Rick gently on the shoulder, "Rick, quit hiding the good stuff on Martha, you know the cheaper the wine the worse the hangover." Martha walks over and embraces Jess, "Thank You Darling, finally someone on my side."

Breakfast goes by quickly as Alexis is chatting Jess's ear off about the dance, and not being able to find a dress, and a host of issues from school. Rick smiles as Jess is sitting and listening to every word Alexis is saying, then finally surprises her,

"Alexis, if you like I can go shopping with you, I worked my way through college in the fashion industry, not pretty enough to be a model, so I worked in design and production."

"Really Jess, and you are way prettier than the models I have seen, you sure you want to go with me?"

"Of course, Lexi, oops can I call you that, I would love to"

Alexis is beaming, "Jess, I like it when you call me Lexi no one else does so that is our Girl Code, OK?"

"OK from now on sweetie you are Lexi to me, and Rick that is our name you got that?"

Rick is just beaming as his two girls are smiling from ear to ear, "Yes Mam, dooly noted, Lexi is off the table, but I got dips on Pumpkin"

"Dad" Alexis says, oh I have to meet Paige, Bye Jess, we will pick a date to shop when I get home, OK? Oh, Bye Dad I will see you tonight, love you all" and out the door she flies.

Martha is next, "Oh I am off as well, don't wait up darlings, I may be late," as Rick mouths to Jess, she's got one on the line, and won't be home. Jess stifles the laugh and gives Martha a quick hug and then they are alone in Rick's loft.

Rick looks over at Jess, who is looking at him, she has a glow about her that just lights Rick's world. Rick is contemplating how much "Batting Practice" they can get in before when his thoughts are interrupted by Jess,

"I know what you are thinking, and as inviting as it is, we both have to work, let's set a goal and maybe at lunch we can recharge the batteries, OK?"

Rick looks over at her, and in a flash, she is in his lap, "OK but I get 5 minutes with you before we start our day," the kisses are passionate, not urgent, just reassuring each other what the other one was feeling, finally it is Jess who says "Work Time, No Work No Kissing Rick"

Rick pretends to pout, but says "OK one more for the road, "You are 50 steps away you goof," as Jess grabs him for her last kiss.

The morning progresses well Jess has made several appointments to do preliminary reviews of sites, and also potential architects, as she ruled out the ones who didn't share the passion or tried to speak condescending to her. In addition to the appointments and selections of potential suppliers and service providers, she actually documented the process in a flow chart, using Microsoft Visio.

Rick walked by and saw a glimpse, "Wow Jess, you are blowing me away with this, this is fantastic," She smiles and replies, "this is what you hired me for, you won't always be funding every project and it is important that we can document and demonstrate to investors and contributors we are running this as a business, not just a hobby." Rick smiles and turns her cheek upward, "Do you know how much I love you? I never knew what life was about till you came" then he kissed her gently but full of the love and pride he was feeling for this incredible lady.

Jess blushes ever so slightly, then responds with her own kiss, deep slow and passionately. "Rick, you are never going to get rid of me, I love you more than life itself. Please promise me that we talk everyday like this, and if there is ANY thing I need to do to make you happy you will tell me, OK?" Rick looks down into those beautiful eyes almost full of tears and says "Of Course".

Rick forces himself back to his desk and proceeds on with the outline for the last Nikki Heat book, and stops to think, this is usually the place where writers block sets in, and he stares at the empty screen, not today even without Beckett he is typing away with thoughts and ideas flowing like a river. Maybe all this time it wasn't his muse he needed, he just needed to be happy and at peace, the peace that comes with Jess. When he stops to think about it his entire life had been better since Jess was part of it. Was it really that simple? Just a loving partner who believed in you, and you know would die for you.

The ideas and thoughts were flowing, and he kept typing, unaware that Jess was just watching him with the most loving eyes a man could ever have look upon them. Writing had always been a lonely occupation, but with Jess just a few feet away, he no longer looked for diversions, but let the thoughts just flow. He was about 60% through the outline when a cup of coffee appeared in front of him, and a beautiful brunette leaned in and kissed him gently.

"Thanks Jess, I didn't even realize I was out of coffee"

She smiled and just pointed to the clock above Ricks Desk with her eyes, "Well stud, it is almost 2:00 so if you want that lunch hour I know I can use some recharging"

Rick smiled and raised form his seat taking Jess by the hand "Jess, lets take a long lunch today, I think we earned it"

"Definitely Rick, we earned" was all she got out before Rick's lips were on hers, sweet romantic kisses, almost shy like not to push too hard, Jess sent him a message when she took control with her tongue and demanded access, leaving them both breathless.

Finally, Rick said "Jess, if you keep doing that, I can't guarantee I can hold to our agreement,"

"I'm glad you understood my message Rick, not now because I want what you want, it to be special, but I am telling you I am ready"

"Are you sure Jess, I don't want to rush you, take as much time as you need"

"Rick, if you remember it was you who needed the time to let me in to your past, we did that, and like I promised, I am here and still not going anywhere, and I am ready"

"I promise soon Jess, it has to be perfect, I can't mess up our first time, it means too much"

Just as they finished putting themselves back together again, the door bell ring, Rick had a funny look on his face, so he went to answer the door with Jess right behind him. Outside was the WPS Driver with a package for Jess, Rick signed for it, tipped the driver and closed the door.

Jess had a look of surprise on her face when she opened the carton, she saw the most beautiful hand carved Leather Attaché Case for a modern women, attached to the side in Gold were her initials, and on the other side was a matching Gold Plate with her name in script and address. As she opened the case another small box fell to the floor, and as she opened it, she discovered a Gold Business Card holder with her business cards,

 _ **Ms. Jessica Hawthorne**_

 _ **Sr. Project Director**_

 _ **Richard Castle Enterprises Inc.**_

She looked inside the carton and there it was, A beautiful card, Welcome to Richard Castle Enterprises Inc. and in Ricks handwriting, **and to my life, I don't know where I would be without you, Please always stay just the way you are, you are loved more than I could ever say, You have my heart** **forever, I will carry yours till I die, Love Rick**

The tears fell like a thunderstorm when she surveyed such beautiful gifts. She turned and engulfed in Rick in a hug as she sobbed, and through her tears he could hear say "Thank you Rick, I fall in love with you more every day, and I don't know why you love me so much, but Thank you,

Rick just rocks her slowly in his arms and when the sobs quiet, whispers, "I want to show you I love you every day I live, please let me"

Jess is just overwhelmed with the generosity and big heart Rick has, she recently learned he payed for one of the building staff's son surgery since the hospitalization would not cover the full cost, anonymously of course, but the staff knew where it came from. Jess also got a chance to see Rick's parental influence the next day, when she accompanied Lexi and Rick to the soup kitchen to serve on the line.

Rick didn't say much about why, but Lexi told Jess that her Dad was determined she would always appreciate life, even in those less fortunate than we, and it is our duty to help when ever we can. Jess flashed back momentarily to the discussion with Rick about his own time in the streets, and tears filled her eyes. She was almost certain that Rick had shielded his little girl from the horror stories of the homeless. She is certain she can help take some of those nightmares away through positive change and devotes her efforts in even more earnest,

A/N This seems like a logical point to stop, Kate is on the recovery, Lost Innocence Project is kicked off, Rick is making great headway with Final Heat, and Jess and Lexi have bonded. Only reviews could make it better. Thanks to all who have read and reviewed, Tim

A/N Once again, for those wanting a quick return to Caskett, this isn't it, you can choose another work and save your time from reviews asking, pleading and in one case Demanding. I write for fun and this story has an outline, and tentative time table, BUT I will not rush the character development. If that is not what you want, Thanks and have a nice life somewhere else.


	22. Chapter 22

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **A/N The next few chapters are going to be rough for the Caskett Shippers, I ask you to be patient as this as the tittle indicates is a Journey, not a sprint**

Chapter 22

Previously

 _Rick didn't say much about why, but Lexi told Jess that her Dad was determined she would always appreciate life, even in those less fortunate than we, and it is our duty to help whenever we can. Jess flashed back momentarily to the discussion with Rick about his own time in the streets, and tears filled her eyes. She was almost certain that Rick had shielded his little girl from the horror stories of the homeless. She is certain she can help take some of those nightmares away through positive change and devotes her efforts in even more earnest,_

Saturday, 7:30 AM

Castle's Loft

Jess is up early after spending another night in bed with Rick, sleeping, and nothing else, Batting Practice will turn into a live game soon, but not just now. She is preparing breakfast when down the stairs comes a perky young red head, "Jess, you're up, Great, Do you and Dad have any plans, I know you have a lot of work but today is Saturday and I can yell at my Dad to give you a day off," words fly out of Lexi's mouth as Jess just grins.

"Slow down Lexi, of course I can go shopping today, and your Dad already knows that we are going to have a girl's day out, see" as she holds up a Black American Express card as Alexis beams. Rick walks through the office just in time to see his pumpkin reach out and pull Jess into a big embrace, as she squeals "Thanks Jess, you are the Best, I'll help make breakfast, so we can leave faster, OK?"

Jess spots Rick and she can't hide the huge smile as she hugs her Lexi back, "That's perfect, I think your Dad is waking up, so we can go soon, OK?" Rick walks through and reaches around Alexis to pull her into a hug, "Good morning pumpkin, looks like you and Jess have breakfast almost done", as he kisses her head. She is getting more mature now and since Jess has entered their lives has started to wear her hair like Jess, and even take on some of her habits, including liking a kiss on the head rather than a "little girl kiss" as she stated.

Rick leans over into a sweet kiss from Jess, keeping it short in front of Alexis, and whispers "Good Morning Beautiful, sleep well?"

"I slept well Rick, more peaceful than I have in a very long time, guess it was because I was excited to go out with Lexi today" she smiles as Rick just beams and Alexis is smiling from ear to ear.

In less than an hour, Alexis and Jess are standing in front of Rick saying Good Bye, they are off for "a Girls Day Out" as Rick walks his girls to the door, he manages to get a few quick kisses in, before, Alexis looks up and says "Really Dad, I **will** bring her back, you know,,, now can you let us girls go" Jess is howling and Rick responds "Of course my dear, I will see you both soon, Have Fun"

Rick decides to capitalize on the time and complete the Final Heat outline, the more work he gets done while Jess is away, the more time he can spend with her when she is home. As he boots the computer he is a little afraid of what he actually wrote yesterday but is pleasantly surprised when the Word Doc. Appears with his outline and notes. He was going to give the book enough of case history to keep it real to being based on Beckett but was struggling how he could bring the partnership to an end on paper between Rook and Nikki.

He decided finally that fiction imitates life, so he is going to have Nikki find a love interest in her precinct and Rook step aside to allow her to pursue happiness. A thought he could never even entertain a few weeks ago, let alone write it for the world to see. Something changed when Jess came into his life, he lost that hurt and pang of sadness, truth be told he did love Beckett, but not the way he had. He had some great memories, so no need to pine for something that was never to be, just celebrate what had happened.

He lined up six murder cases that he had already captured in his notes, close but not duplicates of actual cases he had worked with the Detectives, and as he plotted them out to how they would actually fall in the book, he realized he needed some clarification of some of the procedural, aka paperwork, he had conveniently skipped out on.

Lanie had been hounding him to get together so maybe he would talk it over with Jess and have a small party to introduce them and secure their support. He would not invite Beckett, he couldn't do that to Jess, it wouldn't be fair to either and he wasn't out for revenge. He just wanted to finish this damn book and start on his new passion writing Lost Innocence and working with Jess. Timing of the universe seemed to be smack on target, no sooner than he made the note on his "to do" list, his phone rang, and glancing down he saw the face of Gina.

"Good Morning Gina" he answered on the second ring, which must have caught her by surprise, as she fumbled over her words,

"Good Morning Rick, I thought I would be talking to your Voice Mail, sorry for the pause there. I'm just calling to remind you of you due date for your outline for the next Nikki Heat book is due in two weeks, which is when you usually begin to write."

"Gina, let me remind you it is **NOT the next Nikki Heat book, it is the LAST** , and I am sure your Legal Team have briefed you that I have taken the opt out clause and executed all the legal paperwork to terminate my contract with Black Pawn. As for the outline I owe you in two weeks, I will email it by Monday, by the way today is Saturday and for the remainder of the time remaining on my contract, I only work Monday through Friday."

Gina gasps on the other end of the line, totally taken aback, "Rick come on you and I both know that you aren't serious about this, why would you kick such a cash cow to the curb. Since when did weekends mean anything to you other than time you had scheduled with your daughter?"

Rick is beginning to get angry but takes a few deep breaths, "Gina, how would you know anything about what I do on weekends, even when we were married you were too damn busy to spend any time with as you say My Daughter, it wasn't important to you then, it sure as hell is none of your business now. Let me be perfectly clear, The Legal Contract is **OVER** at the end of this novel, and since Black Pawn, you specifically tried to block my next work, I have signed with a new publisher."

Gina is in shock, and suddenly realizes she has to find a way to make up the shortfall of revenue generated by Rick, or her job was in jeopardy. "Rick I can't believe after all we have done for your career you would desert us, you can't be serious about a new publisher. What will your fans think? Think of them and how many will be heartbroken."

"You mean you, I know you need to find a source of revenue to replace your exaggerated forecasts, so good luck with that, Look for it coming to a Book Store near you, and Gina, the tittle you can never remember is Lost Innocence, Have a Great Weekend, Bye," The call disconnects leaving Rick feeling like a huge weight has been lifted, and Gina worried abut how much longer she is going to have a job.

 **Remy's Burgers**

 **Same Day**

Kate is finishing up getting dressed and looking at the clock realizes that she has to meet Lanie and the Boys for Lunch at Remy's in 30 minutes. Lanie has negotiated a peace lunch if you will, and this will be her chance to make things right with her team and best friend. She realizes now just how badly she has screwed up and she needs her team, and her friends.

She arrives at Remy's 10 minutes early and luckily their usual booth is available, so she takes a seat facing the door. The server knows them well and makes a motion for drinking and points to a coffee cup, Kate simply nods, and the coffee is there in a flash. Lanie is the first to arrive followed by Espo right behind her, (yea nothing was going on with those two, right) and Ryan arrived as Espo and Lanie were sitting down. Ryan walks over and takes the last seat available, next to Kate, and looks as uncomfortable as Kate feels.

Kate begins in a very humble tone her friends are not accustomed to, "Guys, Thanks for coming, I know it was asking a lot and I appreciate you all being here. Saying I am Sorry is not going to cut it for how bad I messed up this time, but please know that I am TRULY SORRY, I never meant to hurt anyone, but I know I did, I hurt you all."

Lanie is the first to offer the olive branch "Oh Sweetie, you were in a Love Haze, where you couldn't see anything that you didn't want to, it isn't right, and it hurt us, but I am willing to forgive you this time. It will be a while before we can be like we were, I hope you realize that."

Ryan follows, "Kate it's not so much that we were angry, well we were but more hurt than angry for me, I just felt after all the time we spent together, our team was shit, Demming was everything. I lost a ton of respect for you as my lead and as a person with your treatment of Castle, hell you even let that Asshole make fun of a guy who has been a great friend to us all and dropped a wad of Cash just trying to help you.

It hurt to see him treated like that, hell if you would treat him that way, what if Demming didn't suddenly like me or Javi, where we next? No one could even speak to you, without getting our asses handed to us, you were never that way before. I want to show you something, you will find it out anyway, so you might as well hear it from me", he reaches over and flips a manila folder towards Beckett, who has been sitting with her head bowed quietly repeating "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry" over and over as her friends speak.

Kate opens the folder and tears fall from her eyes as she see's **Request for Transfer Forms** , not only for Ryan but Javi as well. To this point Espo has yet to say a word, sitting with a scowl on his face, she glances through the form to reason transfer requested, both had listed the same **"Loss of Confidence in Supervisor",** a pain like a knife shot through Kate's chest and she was finally beginning to see just how many people had been hurt by her behavior.

"Guys you have to believe me if I had opened my eyes and knew I had hurt you this bad, I would have stopped, please believe me"

Javi chooses this moment to speak, "Yeah Right Beckett, we tried, we all tried, even the Captain, but you were hell bent on pleasing your Boy Toy, in and out of bed which the SOB showed off like a conquest in the locker room. The irony of this Beckett is you refused to accept Castle saying you didn't want to wind up as one of his notches on the bedpost, but you jump into the sack with this sleaze ball, and I had more than one fight defending you. Ryan and I were going to go to the 54th, but Castle talked us out of it, wanted us to give you one more chance."

Kate looks up through red watery eyes and says "Castle stopped you guys? When? How?"

Javi just looks down sadly, so Ryan jumps in, "He called us right after your hearing after he knew you were going to be OK and asked us both for a favor."

"A favor? What kind of favor Kevin?" Kate gets out through her tears.

"Well, you know he is writing the las, next Nikki Heat Book, right? "He is using notes from cases we worked and wanted to be sure they had been changed enough to protect the victims, as well as some questions on points of law, procedural stuff."

"Points of law? Why would he need you guys, he always asked me those questions? Kevin did you say Last Nikki Heat Book. You can tell me please!"

Kevin looks very sad and uncomfortable, Lanie comes to his rescue, "Kate, sweetie we talked about this, he has to move on, you know that and part of that is ending the Nikki Heat series. From what I hear Gina hit the roof, pulled out all the stops. She even lost a legal battle to Rick who is hell bent this is the end of the series. You need to be prepared, sometimes the heart can't get what the heart wants once it's been crushed."

Kate is quiet for a few minutes, willing herself the strength to continue and finally says in a choked voice "Of course Lanes, I am working on myself, and if this will make Rick happy, I have to be happy for him, doesn't mean it isn't hurting like hell. This is a consequence of my thoughtless actions, and I will accept the results as best I can." "Guys, please help him the best you can, I am, no I will be fine, but it will take some time for us all. Please know that if I could go back in time and change this, I would, this is almost as hurtful as losing my Mom."

Javi leans over and takes one of Kate's hands, "Look it's over, you screwed up, we will get back to where we were, just never treat us like that again, OK?"

Ryan leans in and hugs her and mutters through misty eyes, "What Javi said"

They end the lunch back on better terms, but it will take work for Kate to rebuild the relationships she destroyed, but at least they are giving her a chance.

A/N The angst continues, and will for a while, this was always a sore spot for me in the series, I love Stana and the character Beckett but feel she got too many free passes for shitty behavior without consequences Thanks for reading and reviewing. Thanks to those I can't respond to personally.


	23. Chapter 23

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **A/N The next few chapters are going to be rough for the Caskett Shippers, I ask you to be patient as this as the tittle indicates is a Journey, not a sprint Angst continues and will for a while, just like life, no mulligans.**

Chapter 23

Previously

 _Kate opens the folder and tears fall from her eyes as she see's_ _ **Request for Transfer Forms**_ _, not only for Ryan but Javi as well. To this point Espo has yet to say a word, sitting with a scowl on his face, she glances through the form to reason transfer requested, both had listed the same_ _ **"Loss of Confidence in Supervisor",**_ _a pain like a knife shot through Kate's chest and she was finally beginning to see just how many people had been hurt by her behavior._

 **Saturday**

 **3 hours Later**

Kate is in her apartment, reliving the lunch with her team and Lanie, yeah it had been tough, but at least they were willing to give her a chance to make things right. She peruses her book shelf and comes across the book Alcohol Anonymous gave her to help in her Dad's rehab, pulling it down and glancing quickly at the Table of Contents, she realizes there is a parallel in the behaviors of alcoholics and her recent behavior.

With a quick walk to the sink she dumps the wine down the drain and starts a pot of coffee and settles into her couch with a notepad and pen. One of the requirements in the book was to list all who had been hurt and make amends, yeah right no one ever dealt with a stubborn Castle, oops that wasn't right. Strike that, she had to OWN her actions and stop deflecting on others, especially Castle.

She suddenly realizes why she has dumped on him so much, he is the only one who loves, well loved, her enough to take all her crap. Once again, a tear falls onto the pad causing the ink to run a bit, she resolves that she is going to get through this without crying, she is a freaking homicide detective for God's sake, she has dealt with so much worse. She settles back and begins her list, while reading and re-reading some of the passages, she will make it right, just wait and see.

 **Across Town, Castle's Loft**

 **4:00 PM**

Rick has been working non-stop since Gina's call, the quicker he could end this the better. He is just finalizing the proofed outline of Final Heat and preparing to send to Gina, when he hears the door open and the laughter long and loud of his "girls". He attaches the file, hits send and lets out a breath of relief, just as Alexis comes into his office, with her hands full of bags and talking so fast Rick can't make out a word'

"Pumpkin, slow down I can't understand a word you are saying" he looks up to see Jess smiling from the doorway with packages as well, finally Alexis takes a deep breath,

"Daddy it was great, Jess helped me try on clothes and she even took me to stores Gram and I have never been to, they had soooooo many to choose from, I got a dress for the dance and one for the next two at the same time, Jess says it's always good to have a plan" she rushes out as she runs out of breath.

"We went to Youth Bazar, and she loved it, we spent almost the entire time there, the clothes are more fashionable to the young lady that Lexi has grown into" Jess explains, "I hope we didn't dent the budget too much, I got some new clothes as well *** "as she is interrupted by Alexis

"Yea dad, and are they sexy, she said she is going to knock your socks off when you see the one outfit" as Jess blushes "Lexi those are girl day secrets we don't tell your Dad"

"Oh, I'm sorry Jess, but you looked so happy when you were buying them, even the sales lady said that we should buy a lottery ticket cause she knows someone is getting lucky tonight" Rick chuckles as Jess's face goes from a shade of blush to full blown red,

"Lexi, why don't you and I go up to your room and put away your new clothes then you can help me put mine away, OK?"

"Sure Jess, but why don't you just put yours in Dad's closet, we like when you stay with us, Right Dad?"

"Yes, Jess I cleaned out a drawer and one side of the walk in, so there is plenty of room, and yes Pumpkin, we love it when Jess stays with us," Rick replies with a waggle of his eyebrows towards the beet red Jess.

"So, Rick how far did you get with the outline for Gina," Jess asks desperate to move off this topic.

"I just hit send on the email to her as you ladies walked through the door. I can't say that the morning went entirely smooth, but she called, and it was nice to straighten her out."

Jess has an inquisitive look on her face, then it dawns on Rick Gina is an ex-wife not just a publisher, and the look Jess has she thinks about the former,

"I mean she called under the pretense to remind me my outline was due in two weeks, even through a slam that I generally wait till now to even start, then tried to talk me into a new contract with Black Pawn and more Nikki Heat. I made it clear we have exercised that option and once this book is done, so is Nikki."

"You sure that's what you want to do Rick, I mean you enjoyed writing those books, and if you want to continue we can figure out a way to write both" Jess says slowly and quietly

Rick reaches over and gently pulls her into his lap, kisses her gently, and whispers "You forgot to kiss me hello when you got home, and yes I am sure about the decision Jess. You have been terrific, but I really can't wait to wrap this up, so we can concentrate on Lost Innocence full time"

"OK, if you are sure" she whispers as her eyes are focusing on Rick's lips forgetting Alexis was still there until she interrupts_

"Hey Kids in the room, I Love you both but I don't want to see all that, I'm going to my room Jess, I'll see you there when you are done with Dad" she giggles, and Rick and Jess break out in laughter.  
"Guess I better go help Lexi, then I need to go to my apartment to pay some bills and answer some mail, OK?" she purrs,

"I'll miss you Angel" Rick whines, "Alexis is going to a sleepover tonight and Mother is at a weekend Spa so how about you come back around 7:00 and we can put away your new clothes" he smiles

"Sounds fantastic, I can't wait so I'll see you in a few hours" Jess can't but feel that special feeling Rick's pet name Angel has just done to her. It's so different than Honey, Sweetie, Baby, almost like he picked it out special for her. She glides out of the Loft and onto the elevator after helping Lexi put her clothes where she wanted them, already missing that man child, boy does she have it BAD.

Alexis stays in her room studying to get ahead for school next week since she is going to a party /sleepover tonight and won't have her books. Rick starts his preparations to make the night special, this is going to require the help of more than just one guy he knows but tonight has to be that one in a million.

His first task is to check the weather forecast, Great just what he wanted, Clear starry night with mild temps. Next, he calls in a favor from his friend at Le Circ, and then one of the best Lighting guys in New York. A few more calls to some miscellaneous vendors and he's set. Now time to jump into the shower and get groomed, who knows maybe the sales clerk was right, maybe someone was getting lucky tonight after all he smiles.

 **6:00 PM Castle's Loft**

"Dad, I can't leave without telling Jess good night, please let's stop by her apartment on the way to meet Paige, Please?" Alexis puts on her little girl voice knowing her Dad could never refuse her.

"Sweetie, we will stop but if she doesn't answer that means she is in the bathroom getting ready to have dinner with me tonight, and we have to leave her be, OK?

"OK Dad, but I know she will answer if she knows it's me"

Alexis pulls the roll-a-way suitcase in one hand and leads Rick by the other to the elevator, and to Jess's door. A timid knock by Alexis, and just a minute later the door opens, with Jess dropping to her knees and embracing the girl,

"Lexi, I was hoping you wouldn't leave without saying Good Night, I'm going to miss you, but I promise I will take care of your Dad, OK? Pinky Swear" as she holds out her pinky finger to Alexis.

Alexis turns to her Dad, "See Dad I told you Jess wanted me to stop, we are best buds, right Jess?" She completes the sacred oath of pinky swear by putting her small finger in Jess's.

Jess smiles that million-dollar smile, "You bet we are kiddo, you are my Lexi, have a good time at the party and remember, you can always call me if your Dad doesn't answer OK?"

"I will Jess, I will call you tomorrow, Dad says you may be busy later, but you can call me if you get lonesome like you did at the hotel OK?"

"Oh, Sweetie thank you, but your Dad won't let me lonesome anymore, you don't have to worry any more please?"

One more squeeze and then Alexis is content to leave the door, Rick mouths See you in a few minutes, you're beautiful and then turns to escort Alexis to the lobby to meet the sleepover parent.

Jess jumps into the shower taking extra care to insure her shaving has not missed any strategic parts, washes her hair and quickly blow dries it, and finally applies her Shalimar, perfume, it may not be the costliest, but Jess loves it and has never heard any complaints. Now for the one new undergarment outfit that the sales clerk said would garner a winning lottery ticket, she fights off a smile remembering Lexi describing it in her innocence.

Topping things off she is wearing a sheer Bra, and easy off sweater with crème colored slacks with only one button release, no she wasn't planning anything but like she told Lexi, a girl has got to have a plan. Glancing at the clock she realizes its time to meet Rick, God she has missed him, and it's been less than an hour.

She makes her way to the elevator and presses the button, suddenly the butterflies are hitting her, what if she read this all wrong and Rick wasn't on the same page, God please don't let me make a fool of myself she silently prays. She gently knocks, and the door opens to a dark loft with Rick standing there beaming from eye to eye, "Hello Angel, I have a few surprises for you" he breathes.

A/N Thanks again for all of the Fav's Reads, and Reviews. Again, I do have a story Arc, but as I write some character development is going deeper than I originally thought. Hope you are enjoying reading this as I am writing it, Thanks Tim


	24. Chapter 24

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 24

 **Previously**

 _Topping things off she is wearing a sheer Bra, and easy off sweater with crème colored slacks with only one button release, no she wasn't planning anything but like she told Lexi, a girl has got to have a plan. Glancing at the clock she realizes its time to meet Rick, God she has missed him, and it's been less than an hour._

 _She makes her way to the elevator and presses the button, suddenly the butterflies are hitting her, what if she read this all wrong and Rick wasn't on the same page, God please don't let me make a fool of myself she silently prays. She gently knocks, and the door opens to a dark loft with Rick standing there beaming from eye to eye, "Hello Angel, I have a few surprises for you" he breathes._

The loft is dark, with soft back lights providing enough to navigate through the loft. Rick embraces her in a sweet, adoring way, looking deep into her eyes and kisses her ever so gently, "You are an Angel, my Angel do you know that?" Rick says so low and seductively in her ear, shivers run through her. Rick must notice, because he is now reassuring her, "hey as slow as you want, remember, we will do what you want when you want" then kisses her deeply and passionately this time.

He steps back and Jess see's why the loft is dark, the ceiling is illuminated with the Moon, and stars, and a section spelled out "Jess I love You, Rick "composed by the artificial stars that are hanging from the ceiling. Each star twinkling in sync then when the last star has completed, the entire line blinks three times. She can't hold it back, and brings Rick into a tight hug, first with her mouthing I love you, over and over against his neck and finally working to his lips where she tries to express all the love she is feeling in a kiss that Rick has never had before. As they break for air, neither say a word, but the look into each other's eyes are worth a thousand I love you' s.

Rick guides them to the sofa, and they gently continue kissing, passionate, ones that only those who have felt love being transferred by a kiss would understand. He gently reaches up and wipes the tears from Jess's eyes, "Happy tears I hope?"

"You know they are Rick, I have never been happier in my life, I just keep pinching myself to be sure I'm not going to wake up from a dream" "A few short months ago I was alone in a hotel room, lonesome and questioning if I had made a mistake by moving here, and now: you, Martha and my Lexi, I feel born to a new family full of love.

God I would die if this ever went away Rick, PLEASE tell me if I ever do anything to hurt any of you, I would not survive losing any of you" as the tears pool once again, Jess's voice is barely above a whisper.

"Hey there Angel, no one is going anywhere, not as long as you'll have me. You haven't seen the bad side of me, and I fear it will be you that dumps me. I truly don't deserve you, but I will work hard at making you feel loved each day" sweet kisses punctuate his statement.

Rick reaches over hits a switch and the stereo comes on at just the perfect volume, playing a version of an old song Jess recognizes from a movie she had seen with Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore, Unchained Melody, but it was different that the Ghost movie she remembered, sweet and more modern. Rick looks and sees her thinking, "Its Jonathan Jacksons version of the old Bobby Hatfield song, I like this version better, or is this too old for you?"

"Oh gosh no Rick, Oldies is all we ever listened to, remember I took care of my Mom and she adored music from the 70's thru 90's. I love this song, it's so romantic I can almost picture you coming to me through a wall if necessary to connect, eh I mean if "

Rick interrupts her "Angel please don't lose that thought, that's exactly what I would do and you don't know how happy you just made by recognizing this isn't an act, this is my soul showing to you" Jess looks over to see a single tear streaming down Rick's face, she reaches up and kisses the salty tears away, "I love you Rick, more and more every day if that is possible"

Rick gets them back on course by saying "Hey let's check out the real stars, they should be out by now." Taking Jess's hand, they head for the elevator and press roof, Rick enters a code, and the elevator begins it ascend. "The roof is private for just us, but if you ever want to come up here the code is 253947" She looks perplexed like how am I going to remember that, reading her mind Rick replies, "just spell Alexis using the key pad" and gives her that special smile.

The elevator announces they have arrived at the roof, and as the doors swing open Jess is taken back by what she sees. More twinkling lights, a beautiful table with candles lite, rose pedals strewn from the elevator door to the table a meal complete with wine being breathed, and 3 servers. As Rick escorts her to her seat, she hears Violins playing behind her at just the right volume. "How did you pull this off so fast Rick, I know you have connections but really?""

Rick just winks at her, "Angel, I know a guy" is all he says, and she busts out laughing,

"I would say you know more than one guy, Rick you really know how to knock a girl off her feet don't you. Why did you have the twinkling lights put up here when we have the real ones in the sky"

"Aren't you the one who told my daughter you need to have a plan, what if the clouds had blocked the stars, I had a plan"

She can't help it but almost jumps in his arms, "No one has ever made me feel as special as you have, not only today, but every day, Thank You Rick, I love you more than I can put into words."

"I thought we would have a quiet meal from Le Cerq, spend some time star gazing then go back to the loft to enjoy the rest of the wine, Is that ok Angel?"

"It's perfect Rick, you know how to plan the perfect night,"

The servers remain almost invisible allowing them to talk and laugh without interruption or worry of any photos, and after the 4-course meal, a few glasses of wine, holding hands pointing out stars to each other, 2 hours have gone bye.

"Do you want to head to the loft Jess, it's getting cooler and I need to keep you warm" Rick laughs and wiggles his eyebrows

"Sounds perfect, Lead the way my prince" which brings a smile to Ricks face.

The ride down to the loft is consumed by two lovers lost in deep kisses, regrettably pulling apart as the door opens. Kissing and walking to the door is a challenge but Jess and Rick are up to it, and as Rick opens the door, Jess breathes into his ear "Play Ball, For Real tonight, I've had enough batting practice"

They continue to kiss and walk headed in the direction of Rick's bedroom which has the door closed, Rick pauses for a moment outside the door, to get Jess facing the correct way, he opens the door, and there it is on the bed, she can barely believe her eyes, a complete catchers gear with pads, glove, mask, cap and a sign that is flashing above the bed, Play Ball. As they both stumble to the bed the laughter can be heard throughout the loft. Rick kicks the door closed, and the game begins.

 **Same Evening**

 **Becketts Apartment**

 **10:00 PM**

Kate has read every word of the "Guide to Forgiveness" a book she found on her shelf and wonders how the heck did it wind up in her collection, had to be one from her Mom, she certainly didn't buy it. She has to admit the author had some great points, one chapter seemed like he had a video of her life of the last several months. The more she read the more ashamed she became of her treatment of her team, Lanie, but especially Castle.

One of the chapters dealt with forgiveness from a party you could not reach in person, be it that they passed on, or just would not allow any contact. The author suggested that the guilty party write a letter, regardless if the other party could or would ever read it, it was really more for them than the injured party anyway.

The author laid out some ground rules for the letter, no blaming anyone or thing except yourself, as he said you must **OWN** the transgression before you can ask forgiveness. Next Openness and Honesty, **no glossing over** what went wrong, be specific of **YOUR** behavior and its casualties that you are aware of. Next **ASK** what other damage you have caused, you must clear the slate to keep from old memories sneaking back and damaging any progress you have made.

Finally, **the last step was not to say I'm sorry, but rather to ASK forgiveness and for another chance, no matter how diminished or small that role would be**. The injured party was going to be skeptical to say the least, so trust had to be rebuilt, as the author said, not from level ground, but from a bombed-out bunker that you caused.

As Kate finished reading this, she realized she never once had asked anyone to forgive her, no wonder her "I'm sorry' s" were so easy to forget, no matter how sincere she was or made them sound. She made a to do list, based on what she had just read, she had been given another chance by everyone but Castle, even if he didn't come around she needed to fix herself for the future. This was going to be hard, but so is forgiveness as the book's last line stated. She had a lot of work to do, but tonight she hoped just to have one night without Castle invading her dreams, a girl could hope.

A/N I don't write smut, I think I have painted the picture clear enough for you to figure out what is going on. Beckett was light in this chapter because I needed to let Jess and Castle have a night alone, more next chapters. Thanks for reading, favoriting, following and the reviews, all are appreciated.

A/N 2 The song I am referencing is Unchained Melody by TV' Nashville Start Jonathan Jackson, you can find it on You Tube if you wish to set the tone

A/N 3 Directed at guest and anon reviews, Constructive feedback and suggestions for improvement are welcome, when you take 5 paragraphs to point out everything you don't like or any discrepancies from when Matt turned this story over to me, you waste your time in writing it, and I won't repeat it again, Delete is my friend. If you are bold enough sign in and post a review so we can discuss, as long as you hide behind a computer anon don't waste your time,


	25. Chapter 25

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N To clear up the timeline, it has been about 5 months since Castle left the precinct, 4 months together with Jess, Hollywood has seen engagements faster for those commenting on how fast it is moving Thanks for the input, I will work on making it clearer

To the reviewer who left the comment, "I wish Matt had left it unfinished" simple solution read the first 7 chapters and find a new fic, Most are enjoying sorry you are not.

Chapter 25

 **Previously**

 _As Kate finished reading this, she realized she never once had asked anyone to forgive her, no wonder her "I'm sorry' s" were so easy to forget, no matter how sincere she was or made them sound. She made a to do list, based on what she had just read, she had been given another chance by everyone but Castle, even if he didn't come around she needed to fix herself for the future. This was going to be hard, but so is forgiveness as the book's last line stated. She had a lot of work to do, but tonight she hoped just to have one night without Castle invading her dreams, a girl could hope._

 **Sunday Morning,**

 **Castle Loft**

As the sun peaked through the curtains, Rick is sitting up in bed, stroking Jess's hair so softly as she purrs little breaths of sleep. God what a night, he always made it a habit not to compare sexual partners against each other, but in all reality, the depth of pure love between he and Jess, had never been felt before.

He finally understood his friends telling him there is a hell of a difference in Good Sex, and making love to someone that you love, and you would never be able to explain it till it happened. He thinks back to a couple's therapist case he worked with the gang at the 12th, and in the interview with the therapist, she had made the comment, "Animals have sex Mr. Castle, the goal of humans who love each other is to go to the next level and Make Love,"

A gentle pull oh his arm brings him down face to face with his vision of loveliness, Jess doesn't say a word verbally, but just made love to him all over again with her eyes and sealed it with such a sweet kiss. "Good Morning Rick, was it worth the wait? Before you say anything, I want you to know that this was my first, - my first time making love all the other times were just having sex. "

Rick smiles "I was just remembering a case we worked, and a counselor said the same thing, Animals have sex, Humans make love and now it all makes sense. I didn't hurt you did I, uh I mean we got a little wild there on our 3rd go," *** "It was our 4th go Rick, and no you didn't hurt me, although I think today is going to be a soak in a hot tub day," as she smiles up at him.

"Why don't you take your first soak, lie here for a few minutes and I will draw your bath, then start breakfast OK? Jess just raises up and kisses him gently "Thank You Rick, I am officially spoiled now."

They spent the remainder of the day alternating between Hot Tub sessions, Love Making and hot baths, neither were going to have trouble sleeping tonight for sure. They were safe till 5:00 PM when Alexis was being dropped off after her sleepover and took advantage of every minute.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **7:30 AM Sunday**

Kate is up and out for her run by 6:30AM not happy with herself for letting her workout go by the wayside when Demming had he mesmerized. Well, it was better, but she is still pissed at herself for having to work her way back up, today she got in almost 4 miles so still a ways to go.

She returns to her apartment and hits the shower letting the hot water pound on her sore aching muscles. After the shower and a quick breakfast, coffee and a bagel then more coffee, she decides to revisit he notes from the book last night. Checking her list who she needs to make amends to she decides to leave Castle for later, (she's not secretly hoping he has a change of heart, no not at all).

The easiest is her Dad, so she starts with him, carefully following the rules outlined by the author of Guide for Forgiveness, and actually does feel better with each line she writes, maybe there was something to this after all. When she completes Jim's letter, she starts working on Lanie's, since no matter what she does she is her person, always been there for her and always would be.

She breaks for lunch, Pizza delivered around 1:30 PM, but she seems to be getting into actually composing meaningful letters, not just going through the motions to each of those on her list, including Captain Montgomery. She will be working on this for a while, and the afternoon passes with a few more names on her list checked off.

By 10:00 PM she decides to call it a night, after a nice long bath. She settles into bed with a book by Pattison, or so she thinks till she begins to read, it winds up being A Rose for Ever After, but she is just too tired to get back out of bed and select another one. Biting the bullet, she begins to read it, paying attention to the details that Castle had put into what amounted to a long love letter to Kyra Blane. What surprises her the most is the deep sensitivity in his work, why had she not noticed that before? She falls asleep with the book lying beside her and sleeps peacefully for the first time in months.

 **Castle's Loft**

 **4:00 PM**

Rick and Jess where just waking up from another recharge session when they decided it might be best if they were dressed to meet Alexis in about an hour. As they are dressing Rick remembers about the idea of a small party for Lanie and the boys to introduce Jess, and to review the points he needed clarification for in Final Heat. His goal was to have it completed in a month or less, aggressive, but he had met tougher goals, besides his incentive was sitting 50 steps from his desk.

"Hey Jess, could I ask you something and you can say no if you aren't comfortable OK?"

"What is it Rick, you know you can ask me anything right?"

"Well I talked to Esposito and Ryan after I finished the Outline of Final Heat, I have six cases that I need to be sure are vetted to insure no liability because of my cases being too close to actual cases, and the guys offered to help out. I know you haven't met them and I would like to have a small party and invite Ryan Espo and Lanie over to meet you, and to keep the ball moving for Final Heat."

"Why would that be a problem Sweetie, they are your friends and I want to meet them too. Why aren't you inviting Kate, or is it too soon", Jess sees the panic on Ricks face "sorry Hun that isn't my business." "I think it's a great idea and I am fine with whoever is invited, OK?"

"Jess I know you aren't jealous, but there is still a lot of hurt there that I am not sure I am ready to deal with just yet, especially in a group setting" Jess eases up and kisses him on the cheek, "I understand Rick, but don't hold grudges, they cheat us out of love we could be sharing OK?" "I had to see a shrink when I got dumped and found out who he had been cheating with, well a lot of therapy and money could have been avoided if I had just done what my Mom told me"

"Really what was that?" Rick asks,

"You aren't going to believe me, because I didn't believe at first either, you forgive the other person, and wish them well, and I don't mean that half ass court demanded apology, I mean true forgiveness is the only way to move forward Love."

"Thanks Jess, that sounds like a voice of experience, and I would like to at least talk to her, BUT" ***

"She tore your heart out and stomped on it without a thought," Jess interrupts Rick, who just hangs his head as she finishes,

"Yea she did, more than once Jess, I was dying because of her, I even let Alexis see me drinking something I swore I would never do, but I hurt so damn bad"

"Rick, forgiveness takes time, it took me almost seven years, but if I hadn't I wouldn't be here, not physically or certainly not the person that you deserve, like we say we have time, invite the boys and Lanie and maybe we can meet Kate later, not for me, but for you, OK?"

Suddenly the front door pops open and Alexis rushes in, straight at Jess with a big hug, then to her Dad, "Hi Jess, Dad Did you have a good day?" Rick is smiling, and Jess is in a bit of shock,

"We sure did pumpkin, how was your sleepover, did you tell the ghost stories and scare the other girls?"

"DAD, we are past that we aren't little girls anymore. I showed the pictures Jess took of me in my new dress, and boy were they jealous"

"Jealous of the dress Lexi?" Jess gently probes,

"No, of me having a Bestie like you who took me shopping to cool places" Jess blushes as Alexis comes over to her and hugs her again, Thanks again Jess, we have to go again soon OK?"

"You bet Lexi, anytime you want to go" Jess assures her.

"Hey how about a movie night Ladies? I can get the popcorn started while you pick out the DVD you want to see OK?"

Jess and Alexis answer in unison YES, so they head over to the DVD Case to pick out a movie they wanted to watch, some gentle kidding, and they finally settle on Blindside with Sandra Bullock.

About 20 minutes into the movie, Alexis is out like a light, and Jess is fading fast. Rick picks his little girl up and carries her to bed, he thinks he better enjoy this she won't let you do it much longer no matter how tired she is. After placing her gently on her bed, he gently wakes her to put on her pajamas and brush her teeth. She turns over and says "Good Night Dad, love you, tell Jess Love her too"

What she misses is Jess standing in the doorway, smiling, so proud of the little Bestie she just made.

Rick turns to her, "Come on Angel time for sleep, and I mean Sleep you wore me out"

"Rick, keep your voice down, Lexi will hear" she gently swats him.

Less than 20 minutes later the Castle household is quiet, with Jess curled into Rick listening to him breathe till the rhythm of his breath lulls her to sleep

A/N Healing takes time, it all starts with one step, stay tuned to see who shows up at the party. Thanks for reading, favoring, and reviewing, Tim


	26. Chapter 26

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N Also changing up the format and font a bit, sorry if it confuses you.

Chapter 26

Previously

" _Well I talked to Esposito and Ryan after I finished the Outline of Final Heat, I have six cases that I need to be sure are vetted to insure no liability because of them being too close to actual cases, and the guys offered to help out. I know you haven't met them and I would like to have a small party and invite Ryan Espo and Lanie over to meet you, and to keep the ball moving for Final Heat."_

" _Why would that be a problem Sweetie, they are your friends and I want to meet them too. Why aren't you inviting Kate, or is it too soon", Jess sees the panic on Ricks face "sorry Hun that isn't my business." "I think it's a great idea and I am fine with whoever is invited, OK?"_

 **One Month Later:**

 **NY City Morgue**

Lanie is just completing work on her latest victim, a man who thought his wife was cheating shot by her brother that he didn't know she had, so sad, as her cellphone chirps with a new text message. Discarding her gloves, motioning the assistants she had finished, and they were free to take the next steps, she grabs her phone and opens the new text.

" _Hey Lanie, I know it's been awhile since we talked but wanted to get together with you and the boys at the loft, lots of changes going on, and would like to see you. Please be discrete when you talk to the boys, This Saturday at 7:00 if that works, Let me know, Thanks, Rick AKA Writer Man."_

Lanie sits for a moment in disbelief, then a smile appears as she re-reads " _AKA Writer Man_ ," just like Rick to try to take the tension out of the situation, and it doesn't need explaining when she reads " _Please be discrete_ " she knows she needs to keep Kate out of the loop. She immediately responds, " _Checking with the boys at lunch, can Ryan bring Jenny, that boy is attached to her hip, text you after lunch." Lanes "PS Thank You Rick, we have missed you"_

Now the next challenge, how was she going to keep this from Kate, bigger challenge how was she going to keep Javi from letting it slip. She texts Javi, _"Meeting in my office 1 hour, bring your partner and keep your mouth shut, or you will wish you had, I mean it!"_

Javi is sitting at his desk going through the financials of the last body drop they had just picked up when he heard Lanie's tone chirp on his phone, expecting a cute joke or plans for what they were going to do later that evening he discretely opens it, and reads the message. "Hey Bro, take a walk with me, got to stretch these legs a bit" he quietly says to Ryan, not quiet enough apparently,

"What's up Javi, and don't tell me nothing, you know I know when you are lying" Kate accuses

"What makes you think something is up, well it is but it's guy stuff and I need to talk to my partner, is that OK BOSS?" the last word perhaps a bit too strong, but it has its desired effect,

"Sorry Javi, of course you and Kevin go talk, I guess I am just still edgy after the last several months, Forgive Me?" It doesn't go unnoticed to the bullpen that Kate Asked for forgiveness rather than her typical "sorry".

Ryan falls in place walking behind Javi still having no clue where they were headed. Call it worry, or just that Espo knew Beckett to well, Ryan punches the elevator button, and Javi motions for the stairs, and they head down quietly to Lanie's office. Espo was right, Kate made a motion to head to the files, and just lingered to see if she could pick up what floor the boys got off on. Karpowski mumbles "wasting your time Beckett, they took the stairs" as Kate looks like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar and makes her way to the file room to complete her unsuccessful distraction.

Ryan is still clueless to what is going on, but knows if Javi is this direct with Beckett, it is something that needs to be dealt with quietly, finally they reach the morgue, and Javi just mutters, "She demanded a meeting with just us, and made it clear JUST US." Ryan nods as they head into Lanie's office and wait as she is brushing some assistant off yelling "Handle it Damn it, what do I pay you for", no this is not going to be pleasant with an angry Lanie.

Lanie pulls the blinds and locks the doors, and turns to the boys, "I got a text from Rick, and we need to answer him by this afternoon, but none of this, Javi I mean NONE of this get's out to anyone, especially Kate, Understood?" Javi pouts with Lanie but nods his head in agreement with Ryan, "We got it Chica, no Beckett".

Lanie opens her phone plugs in the external jack, and now is displaying the complete text from Rick on a big display screen, she gives the boys time to read it, and then shuts the phone and display down,

"Well what do you guys think, can we make it Saturday?" Ryan nods, "Jenny and I were going out anyway so I's sure we can make it, and for your information we are not joined at the hip" ** Javi is looking at Lanie, and finally acknowledges, "Yes of course, Castle is one of us, and it'll be great seeing him again."

"Great, I'll set it up, and we need to come up with a story in case Kate wants to go out for drinks or something," ** Ryan interrupts, "Lanie she hasn't accepted one invitation from any of us in the last 5 months, first it was Demming for 2 months, and for the last 3 all she does is work and hide in her apartment, I think she's afraid of running into Rick again"

"Maybe so Kevin, but we need to have our stories straight anyway. You and Javi are going to the baseball game, and I'm cramming for a re-certification exam, That's the story and you have to stick with it, Got It?"

"Not sure she will buy it but at least the lie will be the same from all of us" Kevin mutters, he doesn't like hiding things, especially from Beckett, but he is aware that there is still a lot of pain between the two.

"Ok guys, I live the farthest from Kate so let's meet at my apartment at 6:15 PM and share a cab to Rick's. We can minimize the chances of her seeing us, and I hate this as well Kevin, but maybe this will start to open the two of them up, let's just pray. Now get out of here before I get a surprise visitor prying me for information and **take the back exit**."

Once again intuition has saved the day, as the boys were slipping out of the back exit, Lanie pretended she didn't see the tall brunette coming through the double doors headed for her office. Few moments later the door to her office opens, "Hey Lanie, you got a second," Beckett asks sadly.

"What's up girl, and why are you walking all over your lower lip. You look like someone just died"

"The boys are hiding something from me Lanie, I don't know what, but I know something is going on, I can just feel it" Kate responds

"Kate, you do know that Kevin and Jenny are getting closer don't you, what makes you think it isn't anything but guys talking about taking the next step. You know how scared Kevin gets over relationships and why he would trust Javi's advise is a wonder to me"

"Maybe you're right Lanie, it just feels off, I mean everything feels off without Ri** since I have been back"

"You mean since Rick has been gone right Honey, I wish I could do something about that, but none of us has seen him since he left" (It wasn't a lie, they hadn't seen him, texted yes,)

" I know Lanes, I just wish I could go back in time, but I have started working on myself, so I never screw up like that again. I met with Dr. Burke for three sessions as part of my reinstatement, and believe it or not, I did listen. In fact, this is for you," Kate pulls an envelope out of her pocket containing the letter she had written following the rules in the book. "It's not much but I hope you know how long and how hard it was for me to write this,"

Lanie pulls her friend into an embrace "I know it was Sweetie, I know. Just keep working and keep the faith, we never know OK?"

"I guess you're right, I got to get back, Montgomery is still pissed at me, and I know I am not getting any slack like he cut me before, see you later" Kate states as she turns and heads back to her desk.

Lanie hated deceiving Kate, but it wasn't her party to invite people to, and knowing Rick, he could only deal with Javi and Beckett one at a time, both cut from the same wool. That Jackass would follow her into a burning building if she asked, but let the ME mention the word commitment suddenly had something to do, and not with her.

Lanie pulls her phone out and locks her office door as she pulls up Rick's texts, so she can keep the conversation string and begins her reply. " _Hey Rick, look for 3 guests Saturday at 7:00 PM, Can we bring anything? Looking forward to seeing you WM, and I'll smack Javi if he gets out of line, Thanks Rick, Lanes"_

 **Castles Loft**

 **Same Day**

Rick and Jess are in the office each working on their own projects, soft oldie music streaming from Spotify that Jess had found and grown to love. From time to time Rick would hear that sweet voice singing along, not even conscious she was doing it. She had a beautiful voice and Rick loved hearing her sound so happy, it made his mood light and his fingers fly across the keyboard. He raises his head to gaze upon Jess as she is softly singing along, what was that, oh yea an Eagles song, Love will Keep us alive, as his phone chirps and brings them both into the moment.

Rick opens Lanie's text and calls out "Angel, we are going to have guests Saturday night, Lanie and just the boys for now" "I'm going to order the party tray and beverages now, do you want anything special?"

Jess raises her head with a smile and says "Yes, I want that kiss you promised me 2 hours ago, you must really be making some progress to forget to recharge our batteries with batting practice" she laughs

Rick picks her out of her chair and begins to kiss her up and down each side of her neck, finally reaching her lips, then he loses track of time and how they got to their couch. Yep, he really likes Jess's idea of how to recharge and could not fathom ever going back to the old way.

After a brief recovery when Rick is sitting down at his desk, he hears a soft voice, "Hey Rick, which one called you Babe?" and looked up at Jess eyes full and concern showing.

"Hey Angel, it was just a silly pet name, I'm sorry if that worries you"

"Which one Rick, Please it's important to me. It was Kate wasn't it"

Her answered came almost as quick as she finished the question, Rick dropped his head and simply muttered sadly "Yes, yeah it was her"

"Rick, you know it's OK don't you, every time her name comes up it seems you want to skirt around it or change the subject, is that because of me, or do you still have feelings for her, and please think Honesty before everything before your answer, Right?

"Jess PLEASE, I HAD feelings for her, but that was before you, I'm sorry if you mistook my avoidance about her as meaning I still loved her, well like that anyway. I will always love her, but not the same way I love you. I'm sure there is someone in your past that you may have thought was the answer to your dreams", **

"Mine turned into a freaking nightmare Rick" as Jess interrupts and smiles, "I stopped having dreams or hope till I met you. I know you don't turn feelings like that off like a faucet, so I don't want you to hold back, I really would like for you to see her and talk, if not for you then do it for me.

Things are going really well between us, and I don't want to trigger some unresolved anger caused by her that could hurt our relationship. Does that even make sense, me telling the love of my life to go see his ex and to forgive her?" Jess is pleading almost in tears.

Rick has been pacing slowly as Jess has been talking trying to figure out what is triggering this. Suddenly he has a flashback to his marriage to Gina, a silly disagreement about what wine to serve for diner party had turned into a two-week standoff. Suddenly he realized he had transferred his anger towards Meredith onto Gina and suddenly what Jess was saying was making sense.

"You really don't know just how special you are do you? I was listening to your fear of me transferring hurt or anger on you from something she did, and it hit me, God I am an idiot, I did it to Gina. Not that our marriage was going to last anyway, but still I put something on her that Meredith owned." "I'm not proud of that now, but at the time I just couldn't see it."

"So you're not upset with me for bringing this up again, I know we talked about forgiveness a few weeks ago, and really Rick, holding on to hurt, will hurt you, well us, and I want us to last OK? We are going to be building new structures for Lost Innocence Project, and you would never start without clearing all the rubble from the old, would you? This rubble with you and Kate has to be cleared so we can start building,"

"Tell you what, let's get this small party off the ground, then We'll talk about the best time for me to see Beckett, would that work?"

"That's a deal, now let's plan a party" as she kisses his cheek and takes his hands heading towards the kitchen.

TBC

A/N Imagine that Jess pushing for forgiveness for Kate, and before you bash the idea, it is based on a real personal experience.

Thanks for reading, following and favoring, always appreciated - Tim


	27. Chapter 27

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N Also changing up the format and font a bit, sorry if it confuses you.

 **Chapter 27**

 **Previously**

"Mine turned into a freaking nightmare Rick" as Jess interrupts and smiles, "I stopped having dreams or hope till I met you. I know you don't turn feelings like that off like a faucet, so I don't want you to hold back, I really would like for you to see her and talk, if not for you then do it for me.

Things are going really well between us, and I don't want to trigger some unresolved anger caused by her that could hurt our relationship. Does that even make sense, me telling the love of my life to go see his ex and to forgive her?" Jess is pleading almost in tears.

 **Castles' Loft**

 **Saturday 6:30 PM**

"Do you need any help in here Stud, if not I'm going to check on the ice and be sure the bar is stocked"

"Thanks Angel, I'm good in here, let's take bets who show up first, any guess?"

"Well my Genius Boyfriend, if they think like cops which I'm sure they do, they will meet someplace and take a cab here, Sweetie they are as nervous as you are, not doing to good trying to hide it" she smiles.

At 7:00 PM Sharp comes the tap, tap, tap, that Rick recognizes immediately as Lanie's knock. He takes Jess by the hand and leads her to the door to answer it together, setting the tone from the start, she belongs here, and is going to be by his side regardless of who thinks what. As he opens the door, he is almost gang tackled by Lanie who has got him wrapped up tight in a bear hug, and whispers, "Oh Rick it is soooo good to see you, Thank You, Thank You," she realizes then that someone is right beside Rick. "Oh, I'm so sorry", extending her hand to Jess, "I'm Lanie Parrish, ME for NYC, and I am sorry for manhandling your man, it's just been so long since we've seen him"

Jess smiles looks at Lanie's extended hand, and then draws her in for a brief embrace, "Nice to meet you Lanie, Rick has said so many nice things about you"

Lanie smiles and gives Rick her patented Dead Eye stare, and says "nice things about me, have you had your boy checked for Brain Damage?" Jess is the first to burst out in laughter followed by the group. Espo and Ryan are introduced, and Jess finally spots the petite blonde on Kevin's side,

"You must be Jenny, Kevin's better half, I'm Jess and it's wonderful for all of you to come tonight. Rick has been looking forward to having you over for quite a while. We're glad you could make it on such short notice" It's not missed by the group just how comfortable Jess is in the loft or speaking for them as a couple, her genuine personality makes it hard for anyone to hate her. Rick is beaming from ear to ear as he shares Brother hugs with Espo and Ryan, and finally Jenny hugs him and whispers, "Oh Rick, I'm so sorry but it looks like you are doing well, Jess is beautiful and so gracious"

Rick reaches out and clasps Jess's hand in his and said "Guys, you know where the bar is, and the car service is standing by to take you all home, so I want everyone to have a great time tonight. If you need something just ask Jess or I, not much has changed since you were here last."

The next 30 minutes are spent just catching up, and for Jess getting to know Lanie and Jenny. Whatever hurt feelings that had existed had vanished the moment the door opened. Lanie was explaining to Jess and Jenny some of Rick's more memorable days in the precinct, careful not to include any Beckett stories. As much as she wanted to dislike Jess, Lanie just couldn't. She was sweet, attractive, smart, and worshiped the ground that Rick walked on from the way she talked, Lanie tried to find anything that she could to dislike her for, but finally just accepted maybe her friend truly blew it for good.

Rick whispered something in Jess's ear, she smiled reached up and gently kissed his cheek, then disappeared into the other room. A few minutes later, the doors to the dining room opened and Jess announced that the food was ready. Rick Castle parties never lacked for variety, and this was no exception, as they went down the buffet they realized that Rick had made sure each of them had their favorite dishes, and Jess was just as aware as all who liked what.

After dinner the group broke up into Rick and the boys adjourning to his office to review the work that had to be vetted, at this point no one wanted to see Montgomery pissed off any more than he had been of late. Rick outlined the cases on the big screen and made corrections on the fly as the boys made suggestions,

The ladies decided to watch the latest episode of the Bachelor each having a different favorite they were pulling for and commenting as the progressed through the show. By the end of the episode, Jess, Jenny and Lanie were talking like long lost friends. Jess was the most gracious host making sure everyone was attended to and Jenny seemed to be taking on more alcohol than usual, evidenced by the giggles that started and could not stop. Jess stood and went to the kitchen and put on a strong pot of coffee, and quietly replaced Jenny's drink with one of mostly water. In about 15 minutes things returned to almost normal, as the boys came out of Rick's office.

Jess stood immediately, going over to Rick to steal a quick kiss, and clasp his hands, "Did you get it all worked out Sweetie" Rick pulled her into and embrace and kissed her head replying

"Yes, it's all proofed and ready for me to insert into the actual novel now, we made a lot of progress, and ladies I am so sorry to have stolen the guys for as long as we did"

Jenny was still a little under the weather replied, "That's OK Rick we got to check out some of the hunks on the bachelor, woo hooo" Kevin smiled over and knew it was time for them to leave, so Rick arranged the Car Service to take them home. After they said good night and left, Jess asked "how you guys doing, ready to call it a night or does Rick get a chance to kick your butt on Halo Javi?"

"Kick my butt? Not on his best day with the entire 12th on his side" boasted Javi,

"Oh, yea we'll see about that Zito, you are going to bleed" Rick laughed.

Both Rick and Espo turned to the ladies almost at the same time, requesting permission with body language, as the Girls started laughing then Lanie replied "Go ahead, Ego Men Jess and I will just chat over some of the wine here" Rick walked over kissed Jess, and whispered low

"Thanks Angel, been a perfect night, now I get to play video games and kick Espo's ass" as he kissed her sweetly then departed back to the game.

"Rick Lanie and I are going into the office, I want her to see Lost Innocence and the progress so you're on your own for more beer."

Lanie looked at Jess like what is up but followed her into what was Rick's office. She immediately saw that Jess had a duplicate setup of Rick's including that expensive Painting Lanie always loved. "Wow, I love the changes Jess, how hard did Rick fight you on it?"

"Actually, it was his idea Lanie, and when I got back from a business meeting it was all setup" Lanie noticed the expensive Business Card Display rack and picked one up,

"Ohh" she gasped "I didn't know that you were actually working for Rick, so how long have you been a Sr. Project Director for him?"

"Just like they told me" replied Jess, "straight and to the point." I actually joined the firm about a month before Rick and I even had lunch, trying to keep business and pleasure separate you know" "Lanie I know you are Kate Beckett's best friend, and I was wondering if we could talk girl to girl for a few minutes, please"

Lanie almost passed out, here is Rick's new flame, who works for him in a senior position, clearly head over heels for each other, and she wanted to talk about Kate? Oh, this can't be good, but she squeaks out "Sure Jess, just what is said in this room stays here, Agreed?"

"Agreed let me start by saying I know more than you think I do about Rick and Kate's time together, and I don't want to pry, or ask questions that would make you uncomfortable. Rick has told me everything, and I appreciate you leaving certain components when you shared the stories earlier"

"You know how heartbroken Rick was when he left the precinct for the last time, I think it was his intentions to remain friends, but as events played out, he just couldn't relive the hurt over and over, especially when that awful detective Kate dumped Rick for did what he did. I am glad you asked for, and Rick provided help for Kate, no one deserves that, especially from someone you trust"

Lanie is softening now, listening intently trying to anticipate where Jess is going with this. Jess picks back up, "Rick and I have bared our souls to one another, and he still harbors hurt at Kate, Lanie I can't have that, and I told Rick he had to forgive her, really forgive her to allow us to move on." "I have asked him to see Kate, and forgive her, as soon as he is ready, but sooner than later. "

"I wanted you to know as her best friend, I am not the enemy, I love Rick with all of my heart, and I can't say I am not glad she was such a fool to throw him away, BUT she did, I didn't steal him." "Hell, I didn't even want to start a relationship with him at first, but now, I don't know how I would live without him."

"You're probably wondering why I am sharing this with you, well it's simple, from what I have heard your friend is as stubborn as my man, and they may need some coaxing to at least meet." "I want Rick to forgive Kate, so somewhere down the road I don't pay the price of a sin she has committed and tear up our relationship."

"I can see by your face that this is a surprise to you, well I will tell you this, I am NOT offering to share Rick, and if it takes a war to keep him, I will give her or any woman the fight of their lives"

Lanie stands draws Jess in an embrace, "How can I help, if nothing else they can at least be good friends. I am so happy you aren't the jealous possessive type, I can tell no one better mess with your man, but you Love and Trust Rick, that makes me happy. Yes, Kate is my friend, but so is Rick, and he deserves happiness" I'll help in any way I can Jess, and Thanks for trusting me to share this, Rick is lucky to have you"

"I'm the lucky one Lanie, God that man what he won't do to make you happy, I love his little boy side so much" "Hey Lanie you got my card, give me a call sometime, when you can, this hurting each other has to stop for us all.

Lanie stands and gives Jess a full embrace, "Girl you take care of our Writer Man over there, we want to see you both real soon,"

Espo is walking out complaining that Rick had homefield advantage and is demanding a return match, Rick is laughing that deep throated laugh that Jess loves so well, and as the ladies look at each other, yes, it's been a great night

A/N Little longer but couldn't break in the middle of the discussion, Beckett comes back next chapter. Before some say that's not realistic about the new Lady in his life wanting complete forgiveness of someone who hurt her man, it's based on a true story and life events. Thanks for reading, reviewing, favoring and the messages, I try to respond to you all if I can


	28. Chapter 28

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

Once again, I appreciate the reviews from most, some have been deleted, and this is not to be a Kate Bashing story, but rather a journey to Love by some of our old and perhaps new characters. If you bash, expect to get deleted, any positive or constructive criticisms are appreciated

 **Chapter 28**

 **Previously**

Lanie stands draws Jess in an embrace, "How can I help, if nothing else they can at least be good friends. I am so happy you aren't the jealous possessive type, I can tell no one better mess with your man, but you Love and Trust Rick, that makes me happy. Yes, Kate is my friend, but so is Rick, and he deserves happiness" I'll help in any way I can Jess, and Thanks for trusting me to share this, Rick is lucky to have you"

 **Sunday 10:00 AM**

 **Beckett's Apartment**

Lanie has struggled all night since Javi left, hating herself for being a traitor on one hand, and on the other, thinking Jess was right, she didn't steal Rick, and God knows how many time she had had the talk with Kate without any results. She finally resolved she would **Have** to speak with Kate and let her know just where things were **BEFORE** she heard about it from someone else and formed one of her patented Beckett realisms around the situation.

Kate had gone for her morning run, pleased with her progress, a few more weeks she would be back to where she started not only in distance but time as well, all before she had the mental lapse that cost her one of the most important people in her life. As she comes out of the shower, her phone rings with that special tone for Lanie, and Kate smile as she retrieves her phone. "Hey Lanie, what's got you up and going so early on a Sunday Morning" with a voice that had started to show just a bit of cheer in it.

"Kate, we need to talk, and I didn't want it to wait too long, can you meet me for coffee at the Perk Central Coffee House a couple of blocks from you in about 30 minutes?

"Lanes you could just come the extra few blocks to my apartment and we can catch up here" Kate replies still in her cheerful mood.

"Kate, what we need to talk about needs to be done on neutral ground, and I wouldn't feel comfortable discussing this in your home. Please meet me and no more questions, OK?"

Kate has a frown on her brow now, and replies "Lanie, is there anything I need to prepare for, or be concerned about?"

"No Kate, I just need to update you on some developments and I don't want to do it at your place, just meet me, and no more questions, see you in 30 minutes" as the line goes dead.

Beckett finished dressing while playing 50 questions in her brain about what Lanie wants to discuss. She thought it was about her relationship with Javi, but the fact she didn't want to come to the apartment put that theory to rest, finally deciding on just letting it go till they meet.

Kate arrived at Central Perk surprised to find Lanie already there and in a semi private booth in the back. She holds up a finger meaning she will be back in a minute as she waits for her coffee order to complete, Lanie just acknowledged with a nod of her head. Kate retrieves her order and heads back to greet her friend, "Hey Lanes what's up that you can't even come to the apartment, it's been a while since we shared some "girl time" and for once I was all caught up on my chores?"

Kate sees the brow furrow on Lanie's head and immediately knows this is not going to be a pleasant conversation. "Kate you know we have all tried, I mean the boys and me, to keep you from being in the middle of anything to do with Rick, but something has come up, you need to know before you get blindsided ."

Kate's forehead has the same furrow that Lanie's has as she replies, "Yes and I appreciate that, but I haven't had any contact with Rick since Demmng was at the precinct, he refused all my calls and texts and even told Alexis and Martha not to tell me what he was up to, so I'm not sure how this affects me?"

"Well before you get all riled I am just going to tell you straight up, he and Jess invited Javi, Keven, Jenny and I to a party this last Saturday, it was a working party for the boys as the consulted on legal procedures for the case content of Final Heat. Kate, we tried to find something to dislike her for, anything, but damn it we just couldn't, she was charming. I'm sorry if your feelings are hurt, we never meant to, but Rick is our friend as well, and we really wanted to see him, it's been almost 8 months already, and we did owe him a visit."

Lanie looks over at her best friend, who is trying like hell to stifle what she really feels, but hears Kate say" Of course Lanie, I understand, I mean it wasn't that Rick screwed our relationship up, that's all on me, and if he is happy, I have to find a way to be happy for him as well, even if it is with Jess, and they choose to exclude me."

Lanie looks over at Kate, almost in tears but still fighting like she always does, "That's just it Kate, Jess is pushing Rick to meet with you to forgive you, he's not ready just yet, Girl you did a number on that boy, and I know you said he said we could all be friends, but then he found out the extent of your involvement with Demming, and as Jess put it, it hurt him too bad to come back to the precinct." "Kate, Jess is not a phony, or a page six bimbo, Girl I think you screwed up royal this time and chased him into the arms of a woman who gives him everything he wanted with you."

Kate is still fighting her emotions, "Lanie don't you think I know just how much I have lost, not only my partner at work, but possibly my partner in life. I know what I did was unforgivable and now you tell me his new **LOVE** in his life wants to sponsor Rick and I getting back together?"

"Hold on Missy, **WHAT** I said was that Jess wants Rick to forgive you, she also made it very clear that she would fight you or anyone else who tried to take him away from her, and Kate, I believe her".

"Then why is it so important to her that Rick and I are back on friendly terms, isn't she afraid of our history and her possible winding up out the door? I mean if the situation were reversed I wouldn't want Rick anywhere near her."

Lanie smiles sadly, "She said the same thing you just said when we talked, and I asked her what she thought your reaction would be. She also then added, I love him enough to walk away, **IF** Kate can make his as happy as I do or more, but I know she can't, and it's not her fault."

"She has loved before I am sure, but I don't think Kate has ever been on the receiving end of a Dump like she did to Rick, or what happened to me, so she has no idea just how much pain it causes or for how long you go through life doubting yourself, everything you are and have ever been. From what I have heard, she excelled in all most everything both before and after her Mother's tragic death, so she is used to being the one calling the shots of where a relationship can or will go."

Kate looks to interrupt Lanie, clearly upset, but Lanie keeps steam rolling along, "She also said that, and Kate this is going to hurt, but I think she is right, and I am your best friend, you are emotionally selfish, only thinking about pleasing yourself, rather truly putting your partner before all others"

This last comment clearly has hit deep, and Kate let's a tear slide down her cheek, mumbling, "She's right you know, everything she said is exactly how my life has been. I'm not sure how I got this way, or even if I could change if I wanted to, but I do want whatever part of Rick will give me of his life." "How do you fit into all this Lanie, and when did you become president of Jess's Fan Club?"

"I'm not the president of Jess's fan club, but Kate, I tried, I really tried to find anything I could hate her for, then she pulls me aside and wants me to help you and Rick at least be friends, tell me Kate, what was I supposed to do? I love you and Rick both, but girl, he deserves to be happy, even if it's not with you" "Just tell me that if he or Jess reaches out, you will accept the olive branch, they can explain everything else since it is really none of my business"

Kate silently nods her head in acceptance, thinking friendship is the only thing Rick is going to offer and if that's all there is, it is still better than the way it's been the last 8 months.

 **Castle's Loft**

 **Same Morning**

"Rick, I did something last night when you were with the boys, and I hope I didn't overstep, you'll probably be mad at me, but I had to do it." Jess mumble along his neck as she kisses him hello, hoping the kisses will soften any anger.

"Jess did you do what I think you Did? Involve Lanie to get to Kate so we could meet for an apology lunch or dinner?" His answers come before the words are completely out of his mouth as Jess lays her head on his chest and purrs,

"Rick, this is important for you, even more important for us. I'm sorry but I want you to be able to enjoy every moment, every particle of the love we have, you can't do that if you still haven't forgiven Kate." She is miserable, making your friends miserable, and inside you hold hurt, Sweetie, **PLEASE** let it out, you will be so glad when you do, I promise you."

Rick begins to kiss her head and gently rub her back, "You know if I didn't know how much you loved me, I would swear you were trying to get me back with Beckett." Which earns him a sharp elbow to the ribs, and

"OVER my DEAD BODY RICHARD CASTLE, you are MINE, but I want you happy, and I know you will be even happier if you do this for me, OK?"

"I've been thinking about the Forgiveness issue since you brought it up and I think, no make that I know that you're right. Can we meet as a group first, do you mind, I mean I need you there with me, and I am sure this is going to be tough for Kate, if she will even accept the invitation." "Maybe she could bring Lanie to make it less strained and then we could move off from there, Jess, are you Really Really Sure about this? I wouldn't hurt you for the world, and if this is too hurtful it is off, OK?"

Jess lifts her head and brings Rick in for a sweet long slow kiss, "Sweetie, Lanie will handle Kate, you and I are a team and will meet them to get things back on track, is that OK? Lanie and I will schedule everything since I have your shared calendar, and Rick, I love You, thank for trusting this process, I know it is hard,

"Angel is there anything I have ever refused you, and if you say this is the key to you and I being happier, then I trust you, oh yeah I Love You too Jess" as he seals it with a kiss.

TBC


	29. Chapter 29

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

Once again, I appreciate the reviews from most, some have been deleted, and this is not to be a Kate Bashing story, but rather a journey to Love by some of our old and perhaps new characters. If you bash, expect to get deleted, any positive or constructive criticisms are appreciated

 **Chapter 29**

 **Previously**

"I've been thinking about the Forgiveness issue since you brought it up and I think, no make that I know that you're right. Can we meet as a group first, do you mind, I mean I need you there with me, and I am sure this is going to be tough for Kate, if she will even accept the invitation." "Maybe she could bring Lanie to make it less strained and then we could move off from there, Jess, are you Really Really Sure about this? I wouldn't hurt you for the world, and if this is too hurtful it is off, OK?"

One Week Later

Lanie's Apartment

The team had just closed a gruesome murder, involving a Love Triangle. Ex-Girlfriend suddenly realizes what she lost and wants Boyfriend back, but he has moved on, so seeking revenge, the old girlfriend stabbed the new girlfriend, and as the boyfriend was discovering the body she came out of wait to drug, torture and eventually bludgeon the man to death, then went home took a shower and went to work.

Lanie spotted the signs on Kate's face as each new detail was added, and it was really praying on her subconscious. Ryan scoured enough video tape from surveillance cameras to secure a warrant and from there it was a slam dunk case. Lanie rescued Kate from the boys who were oblivious to the connection to Castle, for a girl's night out. They wound up at Lanie's to drink a good bottle of wine and watch something streaming on Netflix.

Lanie is still on her first glass while Kate has pretty well polished off her second when Lanie raises the issue. "Kate, I got a conference call yesterday from Rick and Jess, inviting you and I to lunch on Saturday. I told them I would check with you for your schedule and Rick said don't bother, he took Montgomery to the cleaners in Poker and already knew you were off." "Jess was pretty excited to arrange the late lunch, so what do you say, are we on for 2:30 PM Saturday at Cerrito's Grill and Pub? Rick promised it would be discrete and no pictures of anyone on page six so you can't use that as an excuse." Lanie watches the panic flood her friends face,

"Really, this SATURDAY? Why so quick, and no offense but why are there four of us meeting?" Kate puzzles

"It was Rick's idea to allow you some comfort with me, and Jess for him, plus he does want you to get to know her, and Kate, if you want to be friends with Rick, you are gonna have to accept Jess as being part of him"

"I know Lanes, I'm just not sure I am ready to see them all kissy face ** Lanie Interrupts

"You mean like you and Demming did to Rick at the Station? Jess spoke to me and told me they would be respectful of the past, BUT don't go after him or it's on !"

"I guess if I truly want his forgiveness, I have to be vulnerable to accept this so OK Lanie, but any sign of PDA between them and I am gone."

 **Saturday**

 **1:00 PM**

Rick is trying on the 12th shirt of the morning when Jess walks in places her arms around his neck and hands him a pull over, "It's lunch Sweetie, and I'm sure that they are as nervous as we are" "Don't worry, everything will be fine, I know you love Kate in that special way, and as long as that means no lips, long embraces, or hands venturing where they shouldn't, I will be fine, "Jess giggles. "I want you to feel comfortable enough to allow you to spend **ONE** , and I mean **ONE** time alone with her for hashing out the past, I'm understanding, but deep inside I am a raving jealous bitch who will not share you" Jess huffs, and catches Rick's look of pure love, and a big grin on his face.

"Jess, that's just about the most romantic thing you have said to me in a while" Rick Grins,

"Well I mean it, I love you and just remember, this is to remove **ALL negative** vibes from our lives, while allowing Kate to accept your friendship is that is what you want, that is entirely up to you".

 **Cerrito's Grill and Pub**

 **2:20 PM**

Rick and Jess have settled into the back private room, where the patrons cannot see, and the wait staff have been advised if they value their tips they would keep a very low profile, when Lannie appears with Kate behind her being escorted by the owner. Rick stands as he always does, says something to the owner, as the briefly embrace in a man hug, then laughs and returns to hold the chair out for first Lanie, then Kate as Jess beams with pride. Rick then introduces Kate and Jess, although there had been quite a bit of sizing up each other silently as Rick was occupied with Lannie's chair.

Rick decides to break the awkward silence by saying "Kate you look good, growing your hair long again?"

"Thanks Rick, that is kind, but no it is about the same length as always"

Jess interjects, "Well you look lovelier than the way Rick has described you Kate, and I hope we can get past this introduction period to allow real issues to be addressed. I have no interest in hearing about that, or inputting anything else other than to say, I am a Big believer of Forgiveness, without, it we cheat ourselves out of happiness, and I want the 4 of us to go forward, truly happy" now I will just be quiet for a change, which gets a laugh out of all but Kate,.

"Jess, that is so interesting what you just said, I have been examining the book Guide to Forgiveness, and following the ground rules laid out and I have to agree, I get lighter with each letter that I deliver to those I have wronged" Kate says in almost a whisper.

"Really, you are actually following the steps in the book to write your letters Kate. That is fantastic" Jess encourages.

Some of the tension has gone now that Jess and Kate have had an exchange of dialogue, and meaningful about something Jess feels so strongly about. Lanie is smiling ever so quietly towards Rick, who can't hide the delight in his eyes about the first exchange.

"Kate have you set a time table for yours, it took me almost 6 years to complete mine, and that's when I realized, I had just spent all that time when I could have been happier, hanging on to dead wood that just brought me down." "Oh, I'm sorry I shouldn't have butted in with that, but seriously, one of the reasons I really want you and Rick to go back to friends, is this hurt, anger, and wonder what the heck did I do is hurting us all, you Kate, me, and definitely Rick. He has far too much love in his heart to let anything distract from that,"

Lannie picks this opportunity to say, "Wow Jess, you went through something similar, no wonder you are so adamant to get these two back as friends". Rick is blushing, and Kate is not sure what to do but out of her character she opens up. "Jess is completely correct, Rick I hurt you more than I ever realized, and I am working on asking for your forgiveness, I'm not there yet since I need to forgive myself and accept what went on, but I promise you, I will soon, and I would really like to be friends again. I know you have a new project going on, but I would like to run something by you via phone from time to time, that is if Jess is OK with it"

Jess smiled and replied "Rick and I have already discussed you returning to our lives as a friend so yes, Kate I think it would be great if you felt comfortable enough to call Rick or I at anytime you needed a friend, or if Rick could help on your case, as long as Lost Innocence doesn't suffer"

Rick wraps his arm around Jess, and gives her a gently squeeze, and replied to Kate and the table, "That would be great Kate, and like Jess says, please call either of us if you need a friend, and if I can help on a case, I would be happy to, BUT my priority is now the Lost Innocence Project.

The wait staff picked the perfect time to bring the menus, drinks and begin the lunch. After almost 90 minutes Kate is relieved enough to address Rick with direct questions, and has stopped staring towards Jess awaiting answers, Jess looked up and whispered to Rick,

"Good First Step, I'm sure it will work out".

Kate and Lanie stayed longer than Rick had thought they would, and promised another follow up in the near future, the only awkward time came when saying Good Bye, Rick pulled Lanie in for a hug, so Jess just followed suite with Kate, and then the partners were exchanged, the first time Rick had touched Kate in almost 9 months, but to his surprise, it was the same feeling as Lanie's hug, there was no spark there anymore.

On the other side, the feelings went quite deeper, but Kate showed respect to Jess to hold her feelings inside, or perhaps a debrief with Lanie later, yes she had to work on that if she wanted to keep Rick in her life in any capacity

TBC


	30. Chapter 30

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N 2 I have been getting some messages about Caskett and when am I going to bring this about, Spoiler Alert, Caskett is NOT a forgone conclusion. I have two separate story arcs and I will see where the characters head, stick around or if you don't like what you read, pick another story,

A/N 3 Several reviews have asked if I intend to bring Josh into the story, answer simply NO, wasted character in my opinion inserted to generate jealousy by writers with little to add to overall story Arc. No Josh, No Collin and No New Love Interests for KB, at this point.

A/N To Anna, reviewer without an email, Maybe it's best if you take your "Constructive" criticism somewhere else, it's apparent that YOU are the one not understanding the timeline Thanks for your review but don't waste mine or your time in the future. Your help is exactly why so many authors left the Fic world, If you don't like what you read, write one yourself.

A/N 4 Thanks Helen, you are not an old woman but your review brightened my day after dealing with some issues, Thank You

A/N 5 To Guest reviewer, who picked up Pattison as the author not Patterson Thank You for doing the research and not assuming. Pet names can be used for several reasons, I seldom call my wife by anything other, so take the research with a grain of salt for this story, doesn't imply anything insecure. Finally a lot of people say Jess is too perfect, what is behind her past, come on it's Richard Freaking Castle, don't you think he would have ALL his employees thoroughly vetted, those that come in contact with his family even more. Thanks for the reviews

 **Chapter 30**

 **Previously**

 _Kate and Lanie stayed longer than Rick had thought they would, and promised another follow up in the near future, the only awkward time came when saying Good Bye, Rick pulled Lanie in for a hug, so Jess just followed suite with Kate, and then the partners were exchanged, the first time Rick had touched Kate in almost 9 months, but to his surprise, it was the same feeling as Lanie's hug, there was no spark there anymore._

 **Castle's Loft**

 **Saturday Evening**

Jess is making dinner as Rick comes up behind her, wraps his arms around her, and gently kisses her head, "I'm so sorry you had to go though all that hurt alone Jess, it must have been unbearable some days."

Jess gently smiles, "Having a sick Mom that required care 24/7 teaches you a lot about priorities and choices, and yes Sweetie somedays I wanted to dig a hole and crawl in it, but I couldn't, Mom needed me."

"I think I survived the divorces because Alexis needed me, and when I felt sorry for myself, I got angry and determined to show them both just what they tossed in the garbage, just like it was when I was a kid". Ricks eyes glistened, and he had that faraway look in them,

Jess reached up and took his hand and turned to look at him, "Never again Sweetie, Never Again, we have the preliminary plans for Alpha Site A, ready for final review, then submittal to the building commissioner within a month. Your dream for Rae is coming true, after all this time, it is finally happening"

Rick is very tentative looking, so Jess comes out and clears the elephant in the room, "You want to know how I thought lunch went today, what I thought of Kate, and what our next move should be, BUT you didn't want to upset me, Is that correct Richard Rogers Castle?"

Rick at first is taken back and has a fearful look on his face, until he realizes Jess is pulling his chain, like she does so well, she finally busts out in a huge laugh, "Rick I think it couldn't have gone better, and Kate was just as you and Lanie described her." "As far as next moves, I am leaving that up to you, to schedule the next lunch, and if you need reinforcements, or you are ready to face this alone."

"I think I will talk to Lanie, perhaps you can as well to get the female perspective, and if she agrees with what you and I think, I will face Kate one on one with my discussion points ready, not for vengeance, but for forgiveness as you say. You have taught me that unless two people share the bad, how is the other partner to know when and how to make it right, and I love you more each and every day."

"Rick don't be surprised if Kate is not at the same progress level as you, sometimes it takes more time for the guilty party, than the hurt party to clearly see how their actions impacted others. I know I said One Time and One Time only, but you know that until all the rubble and hurt have been cleared away from that relationship, we can't even begin to build ours, and I trust YOU, even if your ex is a beautiful woman"

"I think I'll talk to Lanie after dinner, and set some plans in place, I can see now what is driving you towards this, and without forgiveness, we are going to be running in circles"

 **Lanie's Apartment**

 **Immediately following Lunch**

Kate is very uneasy as she makes her way out of the cab into Lanie's apartment following lunch, she keeps feeling the electricity flowing through her as Rick hugged her goodbye, then realization sets in that it meant nothing to Him. Lanie was correct, this time she managed to drive him straight into the arms of a woman more than willing to provide him with the love, support, and respect he deserved. Lanie takes her arm and guides her into the apartment, then proceeds to yell "Spill it Beckett, what are you Thinking"

Kate taken back a bit, recoups and begins to explain how she felt around Rick, and also Jess, and like Lanie, she can't find a thing to hate her for. "Lanie, you were right, they are perfect together, and she even encouraged me with my forgiveness project, who does that?

Lanie simply states, "A woman in love who is sure of her relationship and is not placing jealousy above the love and trust she has for Rick" "Sorry Sweetie, you asked."

"What's next Lanes, I'm not sure I can stand by and watch just how happy they are again"

Lanie's phone chirps with Rick's ringtone for an incoming call, "Hey writer man, just can't stay away from me, better not let Jess know" and begins to chuckle,

"I am right here Lanie, and I wanted to thank you for your help in pulling this together on short notice," Jess responds,

"Hey Lanie," comes the deep baritone voice, "just wondering if you spoke to Kate or if you had an opinion of how today went?" "I'm ready to meet her one on one in a few weeks BUT only if she is ready and wants to"

Kate's face turns as pale as the white dish towel, but she nods her head toward Lanie and holds up 3 fingers, indicating in 3 weeks since she is on weekends, and then on call for the next few weeks.

"Rick, you know I love you, and Jess, and personally I don't think it could have gone any better, she told me when she left, that she would need 3 weeks for the next meeting and asked if Jess would mind if it were just you and her" Lanie lied as Kate stayed deathly quiet.

"Great Lanie, please see what day and time works best for her and let me know, I'll send her a calendar invite, ohh and Lanie, Tell Kate Good Night from Jess and I, her breaths are opposite of yours on the phone speaker" Good Nite and the line goes dead.

 **Castle Loft**

 **During the next three weeks**

Rick is reviewing every communication, every scrap of paper, and finally is playing the fateful conversation over and over again in his head. His laptop sits on his desk, and as he remembers a note is jotted down. Jess is busy with the proposal for the first stage and is in and out of the loft for meetings, during the day, leaving Rick time to gather his thoughts and to try to discover, just what part of Beckett's rejection hurt the most.

When she had told him it that it was "Just Sex, that's all it could ever be between them, that jolted him back into the reality of the street kid, good enough for the crumbs and cast offs, never good enough for a seat at the table. That was a big part of it, but there was more,

Rick delved into his memory banks and forced himself to replay that last night with Beckett, and then it dawned on him, it was that by being with Kate, he felt he didn't need to be the playboy and could be the doting father, and serious, well sometimes serious author. When she crashed the relationship, she also crashed all of the good will that Rick had built and his self-esteem. Once again cast assign for the younger more attractive kid, he was hurt, more hurt than angry, but also angry that she asked him to come to the precinct and then mocked and allowed Demming to mock his ideas and suggestions. She couldn't help not loving him, BUT she sure could have made things pleasant like before Demming came along, but she didn't.

Since he had gathered most of his research on a Word Document, he decided it might be easier to write Kate a letter, to insure he covered what he needed to, without a lot of emotion.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **Same Time Frame**

Kate is sitting on the couch, listening to sad soulful music in the background so low you could barely hear it. A pad of paper is perched on her lap, he legs extended and feet on the coffee table, and a trash can beside the couch, with her attempts at a letter, some on the floor some in the can, and a Detective growing more frustrated by the minute. Damn it, why can't I just say what I mean and beg his forgiveness, why is this so hard, she thinks to herself.

A song comes on that catches her ear, sad but the lyrics were almost like a snapshot of her life, she turns the volume up, and hears clearly;

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missing home  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her go'

The tears fall like rain now, wow talk about timing if the gender would have been reversed in the lyrics, it was exactly how Kate was feeling, except she thinks she didn't let him go, she Threw him away, and for what? God Kate don't you ever learn she sobs half to herself half aloud. She is resolved to do this, she owes Rick this much, an explanation and plea for forgiveness. After seeing him with Jess, she knows in her heart she has destroyed whatever love Richard Castle ever had for her.

The Letter

Many Days Later, Several pads of paper later

A/N The letter will be too long for this chapter so I am breaking here for now, any guess what Kate will say?

A/N 2 The song the lyrics are from Passenger "Let Her Go" available on You Tube if you want to listen to it in its entirety.

Once again Respectful reviews appreciated, Thanks for Reading Tim


	31. Chapter 31

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N Bring the tissues, and **NO Beckett Bashing** in reviews, **you will be blocked** , this is the story of the journey of love, and not the final destination, at least not yet.

 **Chapter 31**

 **Previously**

Cause you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missing home  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her go'

The tears fall like rain now, wow talk about timing if the gender would have been reversed in the lyrics, it was exactly how Kate was feeling, except she thinks she didn't let him go, she Threw him away, and for what? God Kate don't you ever learn she sobs half to herself half aloud. She is resolved to do this, she owes Rick this much, an explanation and plea for forgiveness. After seeing him with Jess, she knows in her heart she has destroyed whatever love Richard Castle ever had for her.

 **The Letter**

 **Many Days Later, Several pads of paper later**

" _Dear Rick,_

 _I have so much to say but somehow none of it seems important now. I could list all the reasons why I did the things I did, including the biggest, "I have no fucking clue" but that won't change the hurt, anger and how I embarrassed you in front of our friends and colleagues. It was magnified when I let a male who isn't a quarter of the man you are, and have always been, openly insult and ridicule you, as your PARTNER I should have been there for you, I wasn't and that caused you pain. I own this, it is mine and mine alone and I won't include any other party into this. It's actually the first step described in the book "Guide to Forgiveness" which I will get to soon."_

" _Rick, I am asking you now to be open and honest with me, I detailed what I know I did to hurt you, BUT is there ANYTHING else I did, said, insinuated, or portrayed that caused you pain, embarrassment, or any suffering?" "PLEASE Rick, be honest with me about this, I can't fix or try to fix something if I am not aware that it is broken. I know I hurt you deeply, and I am not supposed to say this, BUT it is true, I am so very very sorry, and I am asking you now if you can find it in your heart, that big heart that was always so full of joy and fun until I broke it, to forgive me. Please tell me what I must do to earn your forgiveness."_

" _I know I have destroyed every other possibility of an "US", and I understand. That is totally on me, no one else, I destroyed what could have been magnificent. I could offer a cop out and say I was scared of a relationship from someone I cared about, but that would be hypocritical and in tune with my old self. I am sure you would see right through that and ask then why not be afraid of a relationship with someone else, total BS and we both know it."_

" _The last step in the book is to ask for another chance, for any part regardless of how small a role it might be in your life. I am not asking to return to the days before Demming, I can see how happy Jess makes you. No matter how painful it is, Rick, I truly want you to be happy even with someone other than me. It took me a long time to realize just exactly what I was doing to you by parading Sorenson, and especially Demming in front of you. Again, I ask you to forgive me, I know it is a lot, and will perhaps take time, maybe a long time. That's completely fine, as long as I know there is a possibility of it, it will take a burden off my heart."_

" _Rick, you know me better than almost anyone on this planet, and I'm sure you recognize just how hard it was/is for me to write this. Changing from my days as a selfish bitch, driven by one case, never caring about who I hurt as long as I got justice has been my DNA for so long, it's not an excuse. I just want you to grant me leniency when you weigh how hard I am trying to be anything you let me be in your life, a colleague when I need advice, a friend,_ _ **OR**_ _, I know there is no or, and I would never impede on Jess."_

" _I tried hard to find something, anything to hate her, but I can't. I can tell she makes you happy which makes me happy. I am learning to live with that, it's a bitch to be honest but I appreciate what you went through even more now, and I want the same happiness for you, as you did for me back then. I don't know why we have to lose something or in our case the possibility for something fantastic, before one party gets their head out of their ass and realizes just how special what they have truly is."_

" _I know you love Jess, and I would never do anything to come between you, but please try to remember, no matter where life takes us, I will_ _ **ALWAYS love you Richard Castle**_ _. I'm sorry it took so long for me to admit it to myself, even more sorry to you, but I will take any part of your life you will share with me, and PLEASE believe me when I ask, Please Forgive Me, I am sorrier than I could ever express."_

 _Always,_

 _Kate_

Kate looks down as she reads her "final" version and sees tear drop stains, but rather than re-write the letter, Again, she decides this is the final product. God, she needs a drink, so she heads over to the kitchen and opens the bottle of wine Rick last brought over to celebrate closing a case. This is fitting she thinks, finishing a letter to Rick and celebrating it with a bottle of his best wine, once again the tears fall and this time she doesn't even try to stop them.

She heads to her bedroom and plops down on her bed, clutching the "Forever Box" no one knows she has. Just a small jewelry box that could be found at any retail store, but its contents were everything that Rick had ever given her, from scratch pad notes, to paper clip chains to the first coffee cup lid she had to sneak out when he first brought her coffee. The tears eventually stopped, and Kate slipped off to sleep dreaming about what could have been.

 **Castle's Loft**

 **Same Time Period,**

Rick has opened a blank word document and has gotten as far as "Dear Kate", then blankness hits him. He re-reads his notes from a few days ago, but they don't provide the impetus he thought they would. Jess sees the frustration on his brow and his constant hitting of the delete button, so she quietly slips behind him and places her small hands on his broad shoulders and begins to massage them gently, "Anything I can do Sweetie, you are far too stressed over this. What are you worried about?" After a few mumbled words from Rick, she replies "Oh, I get it you are worried that something you write or say to Kate will hurt my feelings, is that it Rick?

Jess has learned Rick well enough by now to read him better than anyone but Alexis, and once again she has nailed him, the look on his face gives it all away. "Jess, this is about forgiveness, not vengeance, but if I'm not honest it won't fit the criteria, and if I write what I should I'm afraid it will hurt you, something I would NEVER do, no matter what."

Jess leans in gently and kisses Rick, sweetly, cups his face with her small hands and looks directly into those blue eyes pooled with liquid, "Rick, I know how this works, Sweetie nothing you write or say is going to hurt me, as long as you answer one question with the truth, the whole truth, OK?" Rick looks puzzled for a second then nods, Jess with his face still cupped "Rick do you love me enough to spend enough time with me, so we can make our own memories to replace those you have with Kate? I'm not asking for a commitment other than are you in this as deeply as I am?"

Jess barely finishes the question when Rick whispers "Of Course," and brings her into a passionate long kiss. After breaking because both were in need of air, Jess sweetly whispers "Rick, NOTHNG you write or say will hurt me, she was your yesterday, I am your today and tomorrow and no one can love you like I do" as a huge smile reserved for her breaks across Rick's face, "That you are, Jess, that you are and I love you more each day."

A/N This seemed like a good place to stop for now, what did you think of Kate's letter, it was a bit OOC for her but remember so is this story. My wife cried, so at least got one reaction that I wanted


	32. Chapter 32

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N This is a long chapter, and may sound rough to some, but remember, part of forgiveness is to bare your soul, often we don't filter our words when this happens.

 **Chapter 32**

 **Previously**

" _Rick do you love me enough to spend enough time with me, so we can make our own memories to replace those you have with Kate. I'm not asking for a commitment other than are you in this as deeply as I am?"_

 _Jess barely finishes the question when Rick whispers "Of Course," and brings her into a passionate long kiss. After breaking because both were in need of air, Jess sweetly whispers "Rick,_ _ **NOTHNG**_ _you write or say will hurt me, she was your yesterday, I am your today and tomorrow and no one can love you like I do" as a huge smile reserved for her breaks across Rick's face, "That you are, Jess, that you are and I love you more each day."_

 **Castle's Loft**

 **Next Day**

Jess is fighting off Rick's advances so she can get ready for a meeting with the planning commission, "Rick, come on now, that's not fair, you're getting me worked up and you know I have to leave for the meeting in 10 minutes" as Rick caresses her back and kisses her on each side of the neck so gently as she is in front of the make up mirror, hoping to put finishing touches on before she is out the door.

Rick grins, "Gotta leave you something to remember to come home to me for, but I think I have to take a cold shower, seems you have a spell on me and Little Richard you vixen lady" Jess is doubling over with laughter, "well little Richard will have to wait till I get home, and then he will get his punishment"

"What are you going to do while I'm away, please tell me you are going to finish the letter to Kate, so we can get this scheduled? The longer it drags out, the harder it will be Rick, and the longer before we can officially begin our relationship" Jess leans back into one of Rick's kisses and catches him on the lips, whispering, "Remember I love you, and I am YOUR today and tomorrow, OK?"

"I'm working on it I promise, with any luck it will be done when you get home. You know how much I hate this don't you? I'm doing this more for us than I would ever would for her, I know that sounds bad but really my memories are now flooded with ours."

Jess smiles, "Rick we'll go through the process, believe me, all of us will benefit, you, me and Kate so please Sweetie, do your best, for me, OK?"

"How could I ever refuse you anything, have a great meeting Angel, I'm here if you need me or call Barry at the Attorney's office if you need the big guns" as Jess heads out the door.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **Same Morning**

Kate had risen earlier than normal after a restless night, she just couldn't get the loop of all the terrible things that she, and Demming had thrown at Castle, she felt so ashamed. She grabbed her keys and phone and quickly changed into her running gear and pushed herself harder than she had in recent weeks, after 6 ½ miles her legs were telling her time to quit.

She walked back to the apartment since it was still early, and she tried to push the awful images of Rick's face, showing the hurt from deep inside out of her memory without luck. She decided to call Lanie, even if she pissed her off she needed her BFF at times like this.

Surprisingly she answered on the second ring sounding wide awake, until Kate overheard Javi's voice being shushed out the door. "Hey Girl, what you up to so early this morning" Lanie gushed with her I just got laid voice.

"Well not what you and Javi were up to that's for damn sure" as she listens to her friend gasp, then mumble some sentence then finally "Whatever Girl Friend. "What's up?"

"Remember the letter I wrote you Lanie, and we had the girl night to hug and cry it out?" "Well I wrote Rick's yesterday and I want you to read it before I figure out how and when to give it to him, what do you have on your schedule today?"

"Nothing as important as this Kate, are you sure you want me to read it, I mean you got down and dirty with my letter, which I appreciated, but I would never let anyone else see it, just too personal"

"I'm sure Lanie, it has to be right without threatening Jess, that would be a deal breaker from the beginning, plus I don't want to cause either of them any more pain, they both deserve to be happy."

Lanie sniffles and replies, "Girl I am so damn proud of you, the old Beckett would have charged forward to get Rick back and to hell with everything else, you finally realize that if you love someone, make them happy, even if it's with someone else."

"OK, OK, let's not turn this into a sob fest Lanes, can you be at my apartment in an hour or so to give me time to shower and change, out on my run now."

"One hour it is, but girl you furnish the tissues, if this is anything like you wrote me. I'll grab some pastries on my way, you got the coffee girl" Lanie commands as she kills the call.

Lanie arrives with a bag of pastries that would add every calorie that Beckett had just burned on her run, but hey, this was serious.

"OK Girlfriend, how do you want to do this" Lanie asks

"I thought I would let you read it while I took a walk around the block then come back to get your input, is that OK?"

"Girl you are going to leave me here to cry my eyes out while you walk around the block, NaNA Ain't going to happen. How about you go make coffee and keep quiet while I read it, I promise no comments till I am done, OK?

Kate nods in agreement and hands Lanie a manila pad with several pages torn out, and as she looked down she could spot tear drop stains, as Kate heads to the kitchen to make the coffee. Lanie flips the pages and sees that Kate has written over 7 full pages to Rick, a surprise to the ME, who has known Kate to be so private.

Lanie gets about a third of the page down, the sniffles start, Kate reaches over and places a box of tissues in front of her best friend without saying a word. Lanie is crying openly, by page 3, which makes Kate begin to cry as well, no matter how hard she fights.

Finally, Lanie looks up and hugs Kate and says "Girl, that was just as raw, open and honest as the letter you wrote me, I am proud of you." The two friends just cry together, Lanie for her best friend, and Kate for an opportunity she has trashed and has no hope of ever regaining.

The two friends sit on the couch just taking comfort in friendship, and Kate relived that she finally has had the courage to do something way past due to her former partner, and ex friend. They sit for a quite awhile till Kate's stomach rumbles which brings a laugh to them both, so they head to the kitchen for the pastries and coffee, a tough morning concluded.

 **Castle's Loft**

 **Later the same morning**

"Well, I guess I should just do this" Rick mumbles to himself, after all Jess seldom asks him to do anything and he can do this for her. Opening the laptop back up he begins to type, line after line of just raw feelings, and incidents that pop into his mind. He remembered he did take a writing course in school that was calle R, acronym for Plan, Organize Write, Edit, Re-write.

" _Dear Detective Beckett,_

 _I know this is difficult for you, hell I am a writer and it's been hard for me so here goes. As I write this, please know that many of the events here have already been covered, BUT you asked for raw, open and honest communication. Where do I start, like I always say the beginning is a great place for most._

 _I was in awe of you when you walked into the Book Launch party to take me downtown for questioning in the Tillsdale case, something about you screamed loneliness and a need to be cared for, BUT you came off with your Beckett attitude, pissed at the world, not needing anyone or anything but your own resources and your Cop family._

 _I really was surprised when the Mayor actually did pull some strings, but to be honest Roy had already lost the right for me to shadow you for one month in my weekly poker game, hey you said honest right? During those months something changed, I saw the inner Kate, but as soon as I did, you closed up tighter than a clam. I kept at it, and eventually I began to fall for you, like no one else ever in my life._

 _When Kyra Blaine's wedding came around, it was very apparent that you felt something for me as well, I just didn't realize it was purely physical. We fell into the friends for benefits relationship, well it was that on your side, for me, I was falling in love with you more each day. I really thought I had a chance with you, as you opened up more and more about your Mom, her case, your disappointments in Sorenson and your Training Officer._

 _Then the day came that Demming walked into the precinct, and into our lives. I should have seen the signs and made an early exit, not that it would have hurt any less, but perhaps some of my male pride could have been salvaged. I was embarrassed at how you fell hook, line and sinker for a Badge Bunny Magnet, after giving me the spiel about not wanting to be a conquest on my bedpost._

 _The day you ended our "Arrangement" will be forever etched in my memory, more so than when I caught Meredith cheating, somehow this felt worse. When you coldly stated "It was only sex Castle, I told you that when we started. That's all I ever wanted from you, that's all I would ever want from you." "Look Castle it was a mistake to start this at all and now it's time to end it. Its best for us both, I think"_

 _When you told me, you wanted to focus on a more permanent relationship, it hurt that I wasn't good enough, BUT I cared enough about you and your happiness to step aside. I was surprised when you asked me about the precinct, and perhaps this is the most painful memory of all Detective. I had never known you to be cruel, not even to the most hardened sick bastards that we arrested._

 _The last few days at the precinct were a living hell for me for more than one reason, I had to witness you fawn over a pretty boy detective from robbery, who had a reputation of bed them and leave them all throughout the 54_ _th_ _, thus the transfer to the 12_ _th_ _. Your behavior was nothing short of a horny Badge Bunny willing to spread your legs for the price of a hamburger lunch and a few bats of his eyes._

 _Even as much as that hurt, it was worse to have you poke fun at the same theories that had spurred theory building between the two of us for the last two years, and now it was the subject for ridicule not only by you but by Demming every time the opportunity was presented. We were partners, or at least we were in my eyes and were supposed to have each other's back, not tearing each other down._

 _I was reminded by you, your Boy Toy and it even spread to Espo that I wasn't a cop and should keep my theories to myself. You looked and acted happy Detective, Hell I left in the middle of a case and didn't even receive a text. The next morning, I knew it was over, all of it so I left and thanked everyone._

 _The next thing I knew you had beat the hell out of Demming before you found out he was capturing your intimate moments on film and sharing with the world. When Lanie called me, part of me wanted to say Go to Hell she hurt me for him, she deserves what she gets. Lanie played the partner card and reminded me that I had screwed up, not to this degree, but you had taken me back, so I made the arrangements with Lanie to help, as long as I wasn't identified._

 _You are probably thinking to yourself Why wouldn't Rick Castle seize the moment of glory for rescuing the damsel in distress, well, Rick Rodgers loved you not Rick Castle. I never had to pretend or put on the persona with you, and I sure as hell didn't want to start now._

 _Jess and I were just starting to date and it really wasn't fair to unload all this baggage on her, besides I didn't know that you wouldn't go right back to him or someone like him, I was certain that in your eyes I wasn't nor, would I ever be good enough for the Great Detective Beckett. I still had feelings for you, not like they were BUT I don't desert friends in time of need._

 _Jess and I grew close quickly, and no it's not a rebound, not that it's any of your business anyway Detective, so I made a few calls, spent a few bucks and your problems were over. Bob told me you settled out of court for a nice sum which I was glad to help you._

 _Now the million dollar question you are asking, and so am I, if I loved you then how did I fall out of love with you so quickly? I found the answer as I barred my soul to Jess about you, Gina, and Meredith, she observed that I was in love with Nikki who was the fictional persona of you, and I would never write her doing the things that hurt me so deeply. When the real life "Nikki" did what you did, I felt betrayed, hurt and anger, but most of all I felt worthless again. That's another story which I don't feel sharing with you is now appropriate, or honestly I no longer have the need to do so."_

 _Detective, I will always have deep feelings for you, but Love? I don't think I could ever love anyone who has shown such utter disregard for my feelings, because when you did, you hurt my family as well, over and over again. I think you were right when you told me it was only sex, and we should just end it, Thanks for the memories, but unfortunately you left a hell of a lot more bad ones than good._

 _I know you asked for Raw, Open and Honest, I don't think I disappointed, a few short months ago I would have never written half of what I did, BUT, I am doing this for Jess, more than for you. I won't have her pay the price for some insult, barb or remark you made that triggers a memory that I take out on her._

 _I am truly sorry that you went through what you did Detective, I am glad I was able to help, but as we discussed with Jess, my allegiance now is with another project that means a great deal to me. Feel free to call from time to time as a colleague, but I really don't want or need your friendship, in fact I think I am better off just treating this as a work arrangement._

 _Please give my regards to all at the 12_ _th_ _, and tell Lannie I have forgiven her, just don't pull that stunt again._

 _All the Best,_

 _Rick_

A/N Well we'll leave it here for now, I am sure I am going to get some angry reviews so if you sign on I will be happy to discuss where we are going, Guest and Anon Rude reviews are firewood, Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	33. Chapter 33

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N to Kate without email, Check out who comprised the Righteous Brothers before you comment,

A/N 2 Anna, the story has included a great deal of forgiveness, so thanks for your apology, and comments, I am glad you stuck around for the story. For those commenting that they are Caskett and not sure if this story is for them, Thank you for your reads, and reviews to date, I often start a story then find I can't buy the line and leave, it's not for everyone but thanks for the courteous manner of letting me know, Keep me in mind for further fics

 **Chapter 33**

 **Previously**

 _I am truly sorry that you went through what you did Detective, I am glad I was able to help, but as we discussed with Jess, my allegiance now is with another project that means a great deal to me. Feel free to call from time to time as a colleague, but I really don't want or need your friendship, in fact I think I am better off just treating this as a work arrangement._

 _Please give my regards to all at the 12_ _th_ _, and tell Lannie I have forgiven her, just don't pull that stunt again._

 _All the Best,_

 _Rick_

 **Castle's Loft**

 **Eight Hours later**

Rick has been working on the letter since right after his shower after Jess left almost eight hours earlier, never even stopping for Bio Breaks, lunch or any breaks. Jess stands quietly in the doorway of the office as Rick completes Beckett's letter, then hangs his hand for a moment, then looks up takes a deep breath and hits the print icon on the computer.

Jess has slipped behind him and as he stood on rubbery legs, he felt the sweet embrace of her, and her voice whispering, "I'm sorry, so sorry, that you had to relive this Rick, but once you work through this, I am sure you will feel a weight lifted off of you." She looks up at him as he turns into her, blue eyes full of tears he has willed to stay put, and gently pulls him in for a sweet, loving kiss."

"I know Angel, I guess I knew it was going to be hard, but I never imagined it to be this difficult. God, I feel drained, emotionally and physically, it brought back a ton of things I had thought I had dealt with, but apparently not completely or I still wouldn't feel so hurt and angry". "I can even remember transferring some of that hurt on to you early on, and I feel, well I feel like such an Ass, I am so sorry Jess, please forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive Rick, like I told you I know how this process works and I am here for the long haul. I am not going anywhere but we both need to feel comfortable with past relationships, they are as much a part of us as the world we live in, nothing we can do but accept, or we will crash and burn, and that AIN'T happening Mr. Castle." She laughs easing the mood and bringing a smile back to Rick's face.

Rick says nothing but gently and sweetly kisses Jess, trying to pour out his love and appreciation in any way he can. "How did I get so lucky, really I went from the gates of Hell to having my own personal Angel. I'm a writer and I couldn't have written this script, I love you, I mean really really love you Jess" he almost cries.

"Hey, do you want to read the letter Jess? It would make me feel better if you knew EVERYTHING, Honesty Always, Right?"

"Are you sure Rick, I am not concerned of what you wrote, but don't you want to keep some things personal and private? It's normal and OK, if you do, and I totally understand."

Rick gathers the 8 printed pages from the printer and starts to hand them to Jess, then pauses, "Just one request Jess, OK?"

"Sure, whatever you need Sweetie, you know, that right?"

"Please don't make me re-write any of this, I don't know if I could do it again and I said everything that had to be said, OK?"

"I understand, and it's your letter so whatever is said is between you and Kate, I know where I stand so I am not worried at all."

"I'm going to take another shower while you read this, and then maybe we can go catch some diner" Rick whispers into her ear as he kisses her gently, almost in a needy fashion.

Jess picks up on it and squeezes his hands and returns the kiss with as much passion as she can, "Not going anywhere Rick, not now, not tomorrow or the next day. Hurry with your shower, I'm starving too, OK?" as she smiles that I love you smile saved for just Rick.

Jess started to read the letter and picked up on the deep hurt Rick is feeling, the first sign is addressing Kate as Detective, and as she progresses through the letter, her intuition is confirmed, they had slept together. Not that it mattered now, BUT intimacy brings on new levels of love, trust, and even hate issues. Kate had committed the Cardinal Sin for any woman who once held someone as a lover, she subjected her ex-partner to ridicule after asking him to come back to the work environment.

Jess felt her pulse rise, loosing some of the compassion she had showed the Detective earlier as she read just how deeply the man she loved had been wronged, for no apparent reason, other than he was there. As she wiped a tear, half sadness for Rick, half anger at Beckett, she willed herself to complete what the objective was, Forgiveness and the ability to move on. She had almost completely recovered when she heard "What did you think Angel, too much?"

"Not at all Rick, like I said it's your letter, you say what you feel needs to be said. I'm sorry that you had to feel the hurt so deeply, and I hope you know why I asked this of you. I knew it was a big ask, but reading this, just didn't know how big. Thanks for doing this, I know it was because I asked you to. It makes me love you even more, IF" Jess pauses and sees a worried look on Rick's face

"If? If what Jess, what do I need to do?"

"Feed me you goof, I am starving," she laughs as Rick reaches out to grab her tickling her finally winding up in a sweet kiss,

"Anything for you, Let's Go" as Rick carries her bride style to the front door before setting her down, and stealing another kiss,

 **12** **th** **Precinct**

 **Two Weeks later**

Kate, Esposito and Ryan are reviewing the murder board, for what seemed like they had done a thousand times before, hoping to see something they missed, but all stand quiet and motionless, just as perplexed as they were when they started.

Ryan mutters "We could sure use one of Castle's crazy theories now" and receives a swat from Espo mouthing "What the hell is the matter with you?"

Kate surprises them both, "I agree Kevin and he did offer to consult by phone, time permitting, when I met Jess and him for lunch a few weeks ago,"

Eyes popping and mouths hanging open by the boys, Kate gets up to refill her coffee, she still refuses to use the fancy machine furnished by Rick. She probably is the only one who still drinks the sludge from the standard precinct coffee, but she feels she has to let Rick go, entirely and suppress every memory. The Coffee Machine would just serve to remind her of how good she had it, before she threw him away.

Returning to her desk she finds the boys in the same shocked condition, and asks "Kevin why don't you give Castle a call, lay out what we have, and see if he can offer any crazy, or sane options?"

"Sure, thing Boss, I'll get on it." Ryan decides to call the house phone since Jess has entered the picture, it's almost a sure bet where she is Castle will be. His suspicions are validated when Jess answers on the 2nd ring,

"Castle Residence, this is Jess how can we help you?" Kevin almost kicks himself when he realizes that he has called using his speaker phone, Javi and Kate have heard the response. Kate goes into protective mode biting her lower lip and forcing a smile as she walks away.

"Hey Jess, its Ryan from the precinct how are things going? Jenny made me promise to thank you all for a great evening, she really felt at home and we would like to see you guys again soon."

"Thanks Kevin, Jenny and you both are always welcome, but somehow I get the feeling that this wasn't the only reason for the call now was it?"

"No, it wasn't we are kind of stuck on a case and would love to run something by Rick if he is available and willing to help out."

"Hang on Kevin he just walked back into the office" Kevin hears oh thanks Sweetie, how did you know I needed coffee, it's Kevin wanting to ask you about a case.

"Hey Kevin, what's up man" booms that baritone voice sounding every bit as happy and giddy as Jess di when she answered the phone. "I know New York's finest are close to solving this, what can I do to help you?"

Javi is sitting next to Kevin, not saying a word, but frowning as he sees Kate's face go from pain to pure agony the more she hears Rick's voice.

After about 5 minutes of Kevin updating Rick, he suddenly asks "Have you vetted the door man? I don't mean just checking time sheets, and witness accounts, I mean full blown investigation? Also, you need to check all private limo's, cabs and any vehicles for hire that left within a block of his residence about the time of the murder"

"Oh, and Kevin, you may want to sweat the doorman about an obstruction charge or accessory to murder charge to see if his story changes"

"Thanks Rick, we'll look into your ideas, we really appreciate it. We need to get together again soon, Jenny really had a great time."

"It was great to see you all, have Jenny call Jess, she manages our calendars and pick a date soon, Great talking to you, gotta run, Bye" as the line goes dead. Kevin glances up just as Kate passes his desk on her way to the ladies' room, with tears in her eyes, but no one is going to see Kate Beckett cry, especially over that writer.

 **12** **th** **Precinct**

 **2 days later**

"Where is our suspect" Kevin asks as he approached his desk, "Beckett's got him in the box, he couldn't believe the Door Man rolled on him so quickly." Esposito replies.

"Yea, well I guess facing Accessory to Murder charge trumps $500 bribe any day" "How does he do it Javi, I mean it's not just this case but think back how many times Castle has been dead on and we all thought he was just a nut playing tag along cop."

"I know Kev, and I really don't want to have to rely on him too much, it almost killed Beckett to hear his voice, as much as she wants to hide it, she's in love with the guy and knows he ain't coming back to the precinct or her, man that's gotta hurt."

It takes less than 20 minutes to get the confession, signed sealed and delivered courtesy of Castle and Beckett steps out of the box to catch her breath. "Nice Job Detective" Montgomery says as he passes on the way to the break room.

"Thank you, Sir, but I don't think we could have solved it without the help of Castle."

"Well please relay our thanks to Rick, if I do it he will just use it to goad me into losing more money at our poker game, BUT he needs to know he is appreciated, This Time"

There is no denying that Montgomery is still pissed at her, and no one misses the This Time remark, "Sir, Yes Sir, I will take care of it personally"

Kate sits at her desk and pulls out her phone and begins to type out a text to Rick before she loses her nerve _. "Rick Thx for the help, you were right, doorman rolled, case is closed. Could not have solved it without you, Boys say hi"_ she pauses for a few seconds, then thinks oh what the hell _, "I have a letter I would like for you to read in person, would it be OK with Jess if we met somewhere in a neutral place? I understand if not, just let me know. Off this weekend so most anytime will work for me, hope to see you soon, KB_

Rick is sitting at his desk with Jess sitting in his lap as they are reviewing her notes from the Planning Commission meeting she just had, when Rick's phone pings with a new text, there is no caller ID, but Rick knows the number by heart, "Its Beckett Jess, you want to open it to see what is on her mind please?" The words come off so easily from Rick, almost like it was a Sales Solicitor calling, no panic, no excitement, just curiosity.

Jess reaches over and instead hands Rick his phone, "Sweetie if she wanted me to read it she would have texted me, it is for you." Rick won't allow her to leave his lap as he opens the text to read her message and smiles that his theory has helped solve another murder. Jess understands exactly why the smile and hugs his neck and whispers, "Another one for Rae, Sweetie, I am so very proud of you, and I love you, just in case I haven't told you lately"

"Our calendars are clear for Saturday morning if you want to get this over with Rick. It's up to you, and she has asked to meet you in a neutral place so Lanie and I will stay back this time, OK?"

Rick looks deep into Jess's eyes and whispers, "You have no idea of how happy you make me every day, Thank You for being you and exactly what I need" Jess looks into watery blue eyes, and replies with a sweet kiss, "Goes both ways, you know, I am happy for the first time in my life because of you"

Rick smiles and replies, "Let's do this, you will be here if I need you right Angel?" "Of course, Sweetie, I am here for as long as you want me" Jess replies softly

Rick looks down at the phone and begins to type out the message,

 _Glad I could help Detective, it wasn't that much but you are welcome. As for the letter, I also have one for you, meet you at the swings in the park of the Vampire Case Saturday at 10:00 AM, that work for you? RC_

Rick holds the message up for Jess to read, although she hasn't made the slightest move to see what he had been typing, she reads his message and just nods.

As Kate is sitting at her desk finishing up the paperwork her phone chirps a tone, his tone, one she hasn't heard for months and she panics and grabs at her phone. There it is a balloon with his contact picture next to a new text. Her hands are shaking as she grips the phone and opens the text, she is shocked at the use of Detective rather than Kate, but at least he answered and is willing to meet her, but wait, he has a letter as well?

She quickly responds to his text, _"See you Saturday" KB._ She didn't trust herself to type anything else, one step at a time towards forgiveness she reminds herself, this could be a very long journey, but she is committed to seeing it through.

A/N Next chapter brings Rick and Kate face to face, alone, for the first time since she broke his heart. Reviews and constructive criticism always welcome. Thanks for reading, liking, following, very much appreciated - Tim


	34. Chapter 34

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 34**

 **Previously**

 _Glad I could help Detective, it wasn't that much but you are welcome. As for the letter, I also have one for you, meet you at the swings in the park of the Vampire Case Saturday at 10:00 AM, that work for you? RC_

 **Castle's Loft**

 **6:00 AM**

Jess turns over in the huge King Size Bed to find her partner's side empty and cool to the touch, meaning he had been up for a while. She quietly slips on her robe and slippers and moves quietly to the living room, where she see's Rick, head in his hands, and a cup of coffee steaming on the coffee table in front of him. Quietly slipping next to him and placing her hand on his knee so as not to startle him, she asks "Anything I can do Sweetie, do you feel like talking or did I push you too hard?"

He turns to look into Jess's eyes with tears almost ready to burst with the thought that she had some how hurt him or caused him this pain. "Oh Jess, it's not you, it's nothing you have done, all you have done since I met you is build me up, make me want to be a better man, a better Dad, and most of all a better partner to you."

"You've read the letter to Beckett, and I know it is going to hurt her, and no matter how much she's hurt me, I don't enjoy seeing her or anyone in pain." Jess pulls Rick's face to her, "Richard Castle hear me when I say this, you are not hurting her, she did that when she chose to treat you like yesterday's trash, and I won't have the man I love feeling guilty for something he had no control over, you got that?" Not giving him time to answer he is engulfed in a long, deep, passionate kiss, with Jess pouring her heart into her feelings.

"WOW, do I get that treatment every time you think I am sad Jess?" A grin appears on his lips, "You stay here for a second let me get you your coffee, be right back" Rick hurries off to the kitchen feeling so much better and is back with Jess's coffee just the way she likes it.

Jess glances up and kisses Rick so sweetly, "Thanks Rick, you never stop spoiling me, and I hope you never do." "I know you are concerned about seeing her today, is it because you are worried about me?" "I know how protective you are of those you love and please know, I understand you have to work through this with Kate."

"Like I said, she was yesterday, I am your today and tomorrow, please tell me that is still true Rick?"

"Jess, Of Course it is, I wouldn't even be seeing her if you didn't think we as a couple needed to as you say clear the ruble to build on, you must know by now, you are my everything, Don't you?"

Jess spots the absolute fear appear on Rick's face, "Of course I do, Rick, Honesty Always Right? I really don't remember my life with you not in it, nor do I want to even think about a future that doesn't have us together" "Honey do your therapy with Kate, and we will talk, if you want to that is, what goes on is between you two, unless you care to share, I won't ask."

Rick draws Jess in for a big hug, and just murmurs, "Thanks Angel, I love you so much, I'm not going anywhere either.

Rick notices on the clock it is already past 8:30 so he heads to the shower, feeling much better after his talk and snuggle session with Jess, she always knew exactly what he needed, God I am so lucky he thinks as he heads into the steaming water.

 **Becketts Apartment**

 **6:00 AM Same Day**

Kate had hit the alarm button a full half hour before he was set to go off, not that she needed it she hadn't slept more than an hour without the nightmare of her and Demming continuing to taunt Castle play over and over almost on a continuous loop. She felt ashamed, and so stupid for missing the signs that were pointed out to her by so many.

Most of all, she realized just how deep Castle had been hurt, needlessly, and it could have been stopped by her, if she had her priorities straight. She knew today was going to be a very tough meeting, especially since she had no idea of what Castle's letter contained.

Rick had been courteous when they met at the loft, but thinking back, Jess had started most of the conversations, and Rick just observed and smiled. She had to admit, Jess was polite, politer than Kate would have been had the roles been reversed. She reminded her a little of Kyra Blaine, as she put it Real, not phony like Gina or Meredith.

Kate reviewed her letter and searched her memory for anything she had missed, finally giving in to the Coffee and need to shower and change for the meeting. She was excited, yet afraid, more fearful than facing armed suspects, what if he really hated her? Well she would find out soon enough.

 **The Swings**

 **9:50 AM**

Rick couldn't wait any longer, so he had arrived early to mentally prepare himself for what he knew was going to be perhaps the toughest meeting of his life. He flipped through some cards with talking notes, just in case emotions took over his memory, he had to get through this, for him, for Jess, for them both.

Kate arrived 5minutes later and was surprised to see Rick sitting in a swing facing opposite of the direction he knew she would arrive from. She knew he saw her approaching in the corner of his eye, but he remained stoic and facing away, God I hope this goes OK she silently prays, more worried now than ever.

She takes the swing one apart from him, facing the opposite direction as Rick, sits down and waits, and still nothing as Rick remains focused straight ahead. "Hi Rick, Thanks for meeting me" she finally rushes out,

"No Problem but just so you know I am not doing this for you, Jess is convinced we need to clear any ruble left from our relationship, or whatever it was before she and I can move on, so it's for her, not you." Castle states in a calm monitored tone, no anger, in fact no emotion at all.

Kate winces with a pain she didn't know she could still feel after almost 10 months away from him, "I guess I deserve that, and Jess is right, we do need to forgive so you both can have a happy life. At least I need to ask for your forgiveness, it wasn't you that blew the best thing I ever had all to Hell, that was me and me alone."

"Rick" Kate starts but is stifled by a large hand being held up in a stop motion,

"How do you want to exchange letters Detective" Rick asks, in that same flat emotionless tone. "I would suggest we exchange and read separately then discuss if there is anything to discuss"

"That sounds like a good plan, and please Cas, Rick, read mine completely and keep in mind if I could turn back time, I would, I'm sorrier than I could ever express"

"That seems funny Detective, even in the most intimate conversation we are about to have, you had to check yourself to even use my first name, well here is the letter I wrote to you, remember when you and Lanie visited us you asked for pure honest and raw truth, that's what you got." Castle hands her a collated binder with 8 pages neatly bound in a clear binder with a simple label, "Forgiveness".

Kate is feeling even lower than low at this point knowing that it is going to take time, work, and perhaps help to get Rick's forgiveness. "Well, I'm not the wordsmith you are, so here is the letter, Rick, I want you to know I wrote it from the heart and mean EVERY word in it. I'm not expecting you to forgive me in a minute, week, or maybe even a month, but I have to know there is hope for it, it's what I need, and I know in your heart you need it too to give Jess what she deserves" as she hands Rick the manila pad complete with the tear stains, bot hers and Lanie's.

Rick takes her pad and begins to read, surprised at the openness and honesty of Beckett. The first few paragraphs don't contain the multiple I'm sorry' s that he is expecting, instead it is an open, and honest plea for any additional areas of hurt along with total acceptance of blame on her, never mentioning or blaming anyone else. That is a shock from the Detective's normal pattern, and now Rick is wondering did his letter go a little too harsh, too late now, let's see where this goes.

Kate begins to read Rick's letter determined to get through anything without shedding a tear, she get's as far as Kyra's wedding where Rick admitted he was in love with her before the tears came. Ever the gentleman Rick silently reaches in his pocket and hands her a handkerchief and returns to his reading. The tears increase as she reads how he listened to her about her Mom, Sorenson, and Royce, never letting on what it was doing to him inside, my God how bad has she hurt him.

Rick moves to the part where Kate is asking for another chance for any part in his life, and his heart is in his throat, and as he realizes that she gets it, he is with Jess and that is not going to change, what the hell does she want then, he thinks to himself.

He continues to her less than complimentary description of herself, it was accurate, but he was still shocked to see the honesty poured out on the paper. He reads the remainder almost stoic until he reads her proclamation of love, and he had to fight to keep tears out of his eyes.

And finally, she has asked sincerely for forgiveness, not her typical mode, and to say he was shocked was an understatement.

Kate in the meantime has moved on to the part where Rick has described his feelings when Demming entered the picture, and how the hurt was greater than him finding his wife in the arms of another man committing adultery, yet he was more hurt by what she had allowed and contributed to, how she was the Badge Bunny embarrassing him and the department was all she could take before breaking into uncontrollable sobbing.

Did she even deserve any part of this man's life? Her behavior was past unforgivable, it was evil and when she read the line about her being cruel, she continued sobbing, even harder, thinking she was lucky just to have this man take time to at least meet her, after her behavior.

By the time she reached the part of Rick's letter saying he didn't want her friendship and would rather remain on a colleague basis, her fear was confirmed, she had no part in his future other than the polite calls from time to time you share with people you are required to remain in contact with. She was past devastated, not sure how to go on, but knowing that she had to.

Rick sat quietly still staring at the same spot he had since she arrived, "SO, where do we go from here Beckett?" She is relieved he is at least using her last name, but she knows now she didn't just shoot out the window, she bombed the freaking block and there may be no coming back from this.

"I guess that is really up to you Rick" she replies quietly between soft sobs. "From what I read you want nothing to do with me or my problems and want to move on with your life with Jess" she knows that is a cheap shot but if she can get a response from Rick, she will do anything.

"Whatever you say Detective _" he_ whispers, crushing any remaining shred of hope Kate could cling to.

"Please Rick, can you at least take a day to consider what I have written, Please? I know I don't deserve another chance but please, just take some time and then can we talk again, I am begging you."

Kate Beckett does not beg, so Rick is torn, after what seems a lifetime of silence, Rick responds, "I need to talk to Jess, I'll text you if we need any further discussion"

"Thanks Rick, and please know just how sorry I am, I'm grateful you agreed to meet and am praying you will once again, I do Love you Rick, I know it is far too little too late, but ALWAYS remember that"

"I got to go Beckett, like I said I'll text you if anything develops" "Bye Beckett, have a great life"

"Goodbye Rick, please don't forget me, I will never forget you and all you did for me"

Rick is already at the edge of the swings by the time she finishes, and Kate collapses and cries until she is cried out not caring who sees her. She then makes her way home and falls into her bed, trying to sleep a few hours before she has to face the finality of today's meeting.

TBC

A/N This was tough to write, I tried to portray both sides without getting sucked into Beckett vs Castle or Stana vs Nathan, Again some life experiences have been incorporated into this, hurting someone, no matter the reason or how justified, just Sucks!


	35. Chapter 35

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N The chapters leading up to the face to face were difficult, but actually writing their one on ones was draining. I hope I did it justice, but remember Casket is not out of the picture yet, nor is Jess, have to stick around to see where this goes,

 **Chapter 35**

 **Previously**

"Please Rick, can you at least take a day to consider what I have written, Please? I know I don't deserve another chance but please, just take some time and then can we talk again, I am begging you."

Kate Beckett does not beg, so Rick is torn, after what seems a lifetime of silence, Rick responds, "I need to talk to Jess, I'll text you if we need any further discussion"

"Thanks Rick, and please know just how sorry I am, I'm grateful you agreed to meet and am praying you will once again, I do Love you Rick, I know it is far too little too late, but ALWAYS remember that"

"I got to go Beckett, like I said I'll text you if anything develops" "Bye Beckett, have a great life"

 **Castle's Loft**

 **12:00 Noon Same Day**

Rick has so many mixed feelings after his one on one with Kate, and in all honesty left with more questions than answers. One thing he is certain about, no matter what happens Jess is going to be by his side, and part of the decision making, he won't do anything to hurt this Angel sent to him, and he knows honesty and trust are as important to her as to him.

He opens the loft and is greeted by the sight of laid out before him is his robe, slippers and three fingers of his favorite single malt liquor, standing off to the side is the beautiful face of Jess, he takes one look at her, and she is in his arms.

"I'm sorry Rick, I'm so, so, sorry you had to go through this, as she cries and plants small kisses up each side of his neck. You look like a truck hit you and backed up and tried again Rick, are you OK?" "I drew you a hot bath for you to relax in as you sip your drink, I hope that was OK Sweetie, I am really worried now, and feel awful putting you through this."

"Jess, I am fine NOW, as soon as I saw you I was OK. It was tough, and I do want to talk about it, all of it with you, but can we do it a bit later, maybe you would join me for that bath?"

"I was really hoping you would ask me to join you Rick, I need to touch you, to feel you to make sure this hasn't been some crazy dream and I am going to wake up back at the Embassy Suites alone and lonely again"

"Oh Jess, NEVER think that again, OK? I am nothing without you with me, and if anyone has been dreaming it's me. I've been so alone for such a long long time I was about to give up and then you came into my life." Rick picks her up spins her into Bridal carry style and goes toward the bedroom, all the while Jess is nibbling at his neck and running her hands through his hair. A quick kick of the door and they are alone at last.

"Oh, I'm sorry Rick, I completely forgot about Alexis and Martha, we could do this downstairs at my place if that would be better" Jess states with her eyes full of worry,

"No need, Red Head #1 at an all-day Science Fair, won't be home to around 10:00 PM, and Red Head #2 is out with her latest conquest, poor bastard, and won't be home till tomorrow earliest, so we have the loft to ourselves." as his special smile finally breaks out and his eyes begin to clear.

After a long soak, well perhaps the shower was used as well, then back to a whirlpool, Jess and Rick fall into the bed still holding each other. "Feel like talking now Rick? If not, it can wait, there's no rush". Jess whispers between the short sweet kisses she is placing on his lips between each word.

Rick returns the kisses in the same style as he says, "Sure but let me get something first" He reaches over to his jacket pocket and pulls out the pad containing Kate's letter. "Jess, I want you to read this, and then give me your honest opinion, nothing is out of bounds, no holds barred, what do you think, OK?"

"Rick again are you sure, nothing here will change the way I feel about you, I just want you to know that I trust you more than I have ever trusted anyone in my life. It's OK if you want to keep this between you and Kate, really, ** Rick interrupts her, "I know it's OK, but I want to share with you, I want you to feel what I feel so when we make these decisions we are both coming from the same place, OK?" Kissing her softly and handing her the pad once again.

Jess scoots down and arranges herself in the V of Rick's legs leaning her head back against his chest while Rick gently rubs her arms, neck and places slow soft gentle kisses by each ear. "Hey, I will never finish this if you keep that up, but I do want more later" Jess flashes her smile up to Rick.

She begins to read Kate's letter, and Rick, despite his impulses remains completely quiet. Once she finishes, she is almost sympathetic in her look, when she asks "What do you think Rick? Was it sincere, was it from the heart and did she mean every word?"

Rick replies softly, "Jess it was like a totally different Beckett showed up today, one with compassion, willing to own up to their mistakes and seek to make it right, I didn't appreciate the comment about trying to find something to hate you for, that made me angry, but other than that it was so different than what I expected.

I had thought she would show up with a page to a page and a half of lame excuses why it wasn't her fault sprinkled in with a few I'm sorry so now take me back, it wasn't like that at all. She gets it, she knows that you and I are a couple and you are doing everything you can to insure our relationship is not doomed because of my past history with her, or either ex-wives."

"OK Jess, Honesty always, Right? Now it's your turn, what did you think about her letter? Rick asks softly.

"Rick, this probably isn't fair to Kate, to have me review a very private letter to you, are you sure you want to know my thoughts? Without a moment of hesitation Rick answers "Yes Please."

"Well, the first observation is that she is serious about apologizing and asking for forgiveness, she followed that book to a tee using the format to write her letter, which if memory serves me correct, goes against everything she has done in the past, withdraw, or blame situations for causing effects."

Rick nods his head yes and motions for Jess to continue, "Next it is pretty clear she woke up once you were gone, and now she is hating herself for being so stupid to throw you away, I think she did use the, what did you call him, Boy Toy, to hide from committing to you in more than a physical way. I'm not a shrink, but boy this reeks of my visits to my psychologists except I was the victim, not the aggressor as they call the parties"

Rick is deep in thought for a moment, then asks "Jess, she begged for another meeting after I had time to re-read this letter, and asked me to consider just how out of character it was for her to do something like this,"

"What do you want to do about it Rick, was it left in a state that you could live with yourself if something happened to either of you, or would you have regrets?

Rick pales with the end of the question which Jess picks up on immediately, "So things did not end as well as you wanted, or you weren't as kind as you think you should have been, or both, am I correct Rick?"

"Correct on both Jess, I sorta was an Ass, to her maybe because I wanted her to feel the humiliation I felt, but then I felt so guilty all the way home. I did exactly what I called her out on, and that's not what you want, I know Jess. I'm sorry I messed it up Sweetheart, I really am."

Jess reaches up and pats him on the cheek, "everybody messes this up Rick, it took me 5 attempts to get it right and I was still fighting" "Do you want to let this settle, and re-visit the facts, possibly reword your letter, and give some positive direction to her Rick? It's your call Hun, just be sure whatever you do, is for the right reasons. Don't be guilted or made to feel like the victim in this, because you weren't."

"Yes, I think I would like that, would you help with this part Jess, again honesty always, and I will not do anything that you are not 100% on board with professionally or personally."

"How do you feel about the resolution now Rick, any better?"

"100% better Angel, what would I do without you?" Jess is quick to reply "Just don't try to find out Buster, it's not you or me, it's us. I love you so much.

"Rick, can I ask you to do one more thing tonight, I know you are exhausted, but this will do someone a world of good, OK?"

"You want me to text Kate and let her know we are in this together and there is hope for her to earn her way back from colleague to friend, but all benefits are yours, Right? As he smiles that evil grin.

"Damn straight, no hands, no extended hugs, no comforting, she has Lanie for that, and you are mine, got it?"

"Got it" "I'll show you the text before I send it, go ahead and get ready for dinner, we are going out OK?"

 **Becketts Loft**

 **5:30 PM**

Kate had awakened to the sound of someone in her apartment, grabbing her gun she made her way out to the kitchen where she scared the hell out of one NYNE, Lanie was almost in cardiac arrest. After getting her calmed down, they ordered a pizza to have for dinner as Kate half cried, half talked about the meeting with Castle. Lanie was really worried about her, she had gone through problems with her before, but this was as bad as when her Mom was killed.

As the two sit, trying to get Kate out of her depression, Castle was gone, he would never speak to her, she was such a fool, how could she be so stupid, Lanie was about to smack her if she didn't slow down. Just about at the end of Lanie's Patience, Kate's phone chirped with that special text message tone.

Kate literally made a dive for her phone to open the message,

 _Kate, I'm sorry seems I took out anger on you today instead of trying to reach a solution. I was deeply hurt and let my emotions show through my manners, I apologize, I think we need to meet again, BUT I want Jess with me, up to you if you want Lanie or come alone, but Jess must be included. Let me know if you are still interested in talking, or you care to leave things as we parted. No matter what, I do truly wish you a great life, Rick_

Kate was in tears when she finished reading the text, he was willing to talk more, it wasn't important that Jess would be there, Kate felt if anything she would be helpful.

She responded to his text with,

 _Rick, Thanks so much, let me know what time works for you and Jess and we will make it work, I can't tell you how happy this made me, Kate_

There's a chance, and as long as we talk, he doesn't hate me, Kate could finally relax and let the wine kick in, which didn't take long. Lanie covered her with a wrap, left a note and existed using her key. Things weren't perfect, but they were definitely better

'


	36. Chapter 36

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 36**

 **Previously**

 _Kate, I'm sorry seems I took out anger on you today instead of trying to reach a solution. I was deeply hurt and let my emotions show through my manners, I apologize, I think we need to meet again, BUT I want Jess with me, up to you if you want Lanie or come alone, but Jess must be included. Let me know if you are still interested in talking, or you care to leave things as we parted. No matter what, I do truly wish you a great life, Rick_

 **Castle's Loft**

 **After Dinner Same Day**

Rick and Jess are returning to the loft after having one of the most relaxing dinners in a long while. Rick was elated that Jess understood how much he hated hurting Kate, or anyone for that matter, but especially those he had considered friends. Jess was so very proud of Rick that he showed his vulnerability to open up to her about his pain, she had been around far too many Macho Men, who would never connect on an emotional level like Rick did.

Only a few more steps to pave the road for Jess and Rick to start something more serious, Rick had to truly forgive Kate, which might take longer than expected. Kate had to acknowledge that her role in their lives would always be what Rick decided, and that she (Jess) as his partner would never stand in his way but was not giving her man up without a war.

Rick began feeling in his jacket pocket as they entered, "Oh Heck, I left my phone at the restaurant Jess, can I use yours to call and see if anyone has turned it in?" Rick is in a panic now since his calendar and several contact information he would not want the general public to see was housed there.

"No need for that, you left it on the charger when we went out to eat, or I should say finally made it out the door: Jess smiles as she handed it to him.

"What can I say, you have a spell on me that I just can't, no I just don't ever WANT to break," as he smiles the one reserved for Jess.

Checking the phone, he sees some missed calls from Black Pawn, which he can delete, the completed final draft of "Final Heat" was emailed to Gina last week and since he held editorial control he was not going to change the story one bit. A few more from Paula, probably trying to get him to reconsider, a voice mail from Paula and a new text from Kate's number. "Jess, can you come here for a second, I got a text from Kate and want you here when I open it, OK?"

"Sure, but Rick you don't have to include me on every detail, I'm not that possessive or jealous, well not until you or someone gives me reason to be" she laughs

They open the text to read Ricks original message, and then Kate's reply.

 _Kate, I'm sorry seems I took out anger on you today instead of trying to reach a solution. I was deeply hurt and let my emotions show through my manners, I apologize, I think we need to meet again, BUT I want Jess with me, up to you if you want Lanie or come alone, but Jess must be included. Let me know if you are still interested in talking, or you care to leave things as we parted. No matter what, I do truly wish you a great life, Rick_

 _Rick, Thanks so much, let me know what time works for you and Jess and we will make it work, I can't tell you how happy this made me, Kate_

Jess slips an arm around Rick and whispers, "No time like the present, do you want to see her Tuesday here at the loft? Martha has a late class and Lexi is sleeping over at Paige's, so we will have the loft to ourselves"

"Yea, that will work, I'll invite her for beer and pizza and then we can talk this out, I really was an Ass to her" Rick almost whispers,

"Well you were hurt Sweetie, we all do things when we have been hurt that we never would do normally, the main thing is that you recognize it and you don't want a vile or hateful relationship with her. That's what makes me so proud that you can overcome this and be the man I know you are," as Jess gently kisses him in a reassuring way.

Rick pulls his phone from his side, first adding Kate back to his contacts, and then brings up her text.

 _Kate,_

 _Are you still off on Tuesdays? If so how does Pizza and Beer sound here at the loft this coming Tuesday say 6:00 PM? Jess will be here, Lanie is welcome if you want her to be, but I promise no more hateful messages, I am truly sorry for the tone of that letter, we can talk then, let me know, Rick_

Jess reads the text as Rick holds the phone up and says "Perfect, Rick, I know she is feeling awful already, and feeling like you are hated by a friend is probably one of the worst nightmares she could have. "

Rick hits send, and in a matter of minutes her tone and precinct picture arrives back on the phone,

 _See you then, what can I bring, and Rick, Jess Thank You Both, Oh and it will be just me, we need to figure out how I can earn your friendship back without upsetting Jess, so we might as well start this dynamic off this Tuesday, can't wait. KB_

Rick is smiling but Jess has a grin on her face like the cat that ate the canary, so Rick calls her out, "What's that grin for Jess, it couldn't get any wider"

"Did you read her message carefully Rick? She already has acknowledged that I am the woman in your life, and she wants to earn your Friendship back. It seems your letter, although really rough has woke her up and perhaps she can go on and be a better person. That's my goal Sweetie, not to hurt her or rub it into her face that hey I got you, although I am thankful everyday she threw you my way. I think we woman know the unwritten rules about messing with other's men, she just acknowledged that to me"

 **Castle's Loft**

 **Tuesday 5:50 PM**

Jess is busy stocking the portable bar with beer and Ice as the doorbell rings, "I got it, probably the pizzas" Rick yells as he slips past her. Rick opens the door as he is fishing his wallet out his slacks but on the other side is not a delivery person, but rather Kate Beckett, in a cream sweater, and dark slacks with loafers on.

"Hey, Jess our company is here" Rick booms, as Kate begins to apologize for being early. Jess is at the door and pulling Kate into an embrace "Kate, it's good to see you, I hope pizza and beer is OK," always the gracious host

"I'm sorry I'm early but you can never judge cabs in New York, she smiles," and Jess reassures her with a smile, "No it's fine Kate, we're glad you are here as she hands her a beer. "The pizzas are on the way sorry, they should be here soon," Jess apologizes, and Rick now joins her and smiles at Kate, "Yea I just checked, and they are on the way, still take yours the same way I hope Kate?"

"Yes, same old way not much changes" she replies with a sad smile on her face. "Why don't we head to the dining room if that's OK, I know I always get sauce everywhere and I don't want to imagine the cost of that sofa" Jess laughs"

"Something is different about you Kate, not sure yet but I know something is not the same as the last time I saw you", Jess smiles, Kate is about to say something when Rick says, "She's not wearing those 5 inch heels that I could never figure out how the heck she could walk in, much less run" as laughter breaks out, and a slight blush lands on Kate's face. Of course, he noticed, but with a height difference now of over 6 inches anyone would Kate thinks to herself.

The pizzas arrive, and small talk remains comfortable to both Kate and Rick's surprise, but Jess was a master at directing conversations into neutral avenues and even causing some heartfelt laughter. The first time Kate opened up and laughed, Rick's memories came flooding back to how he loved that laugh, he so seldom heard from her, and how hard he tried to encourage her to laugh more. He was very surprised that the memory made him smile, rather than long for days gone by, and Jess just discreetly reached down and squeezed his hand in support, while smiling at him.

Jess stands and asks "Anyone care for coffee? I'll be over here and let you two talk in private for a while then I'll rejoin you if that's OK?" Rick smiles, and Kate stammers "Jess you don't have to leave, I'm sure you know the story and by now there is really nothing I can hide, it's been through the precinct, review boards, and even the attorney who tried to sue me".

"Oh Kate, I'm truly sorry, NO woman should have to endure the load you have had to carry, I'm truly thankful that Rick was able to help you. Are you OK Now? Is there anything we can do to help?" Jess asks sincerely.

"Jess, you and especially Rick have been a God send, I don't think I would have a career now without your kindness. I truly hope that this didn't put a strain on your relationship with Rick, I really mean that so please believe me" Kate is almost in tears now.

Jess reaches over, pulls her into a friendly embrace "Kate, we're glad that things worked out and there was never an ounce of strain on our relationship," Rick chooses the opportune time to add "Kate Jess and I have no secrets, its honesty first always with us, and Jess knew everything that was going on with me helping out behind the scenes. She was one of your biggest fans and wanted me to pull some strings to have Demming castrated while he was in the hospital, but I thought that was a bit excessive" this draws a laugh from them all, and a sigh of relief from Kate.

Rick and Kate sit, and talk about his letter first, Rick apologizing for making her feel cheap and admitted he wanted her to feel a little of the humility he had felt. Kate opened up that she had no clue of just how good a friend Rick had been, and even was oblivious to his growing feelings for her, it seemed her Mom's case clouded all but physical need.

"I know the question you want to ask Rick and are too much of a gentleman to do so, What was it about Demming that made me act like a 16 year old on a hormone rush, I've asked myself that a thousand times, it seems he knew the buttons to push, and I thought he was safe, not some rich famous author" "Well we all know how that played out," she sadly states as Jess returns to sit next to Rick and gently holds his hand.

"I know the feeling Kate" Jess offers, "I was working for Richard Castle Enterprises for over a month before I even met Rick, but Powwow, one look at our first lunch and I was gone" Rick blushes and looks into Jess's eyes, "You never told me that Jess,"

"Well maybe not in words, but I have never moved so fast in any relationship as in this one Rick, it's been almost 11 months and feels like day one"

Kate smiles sadly. "You're right Jess, everyday with Rick is like a kid in a candy store, I just hope I didn't destroy that little boy that sees happiness and joy in almost everything in life. I had an agenda that was much darker and was able to choke out any good times I managed to have, lessons learned, Live for those here, not for those already gone."

"Rick, I think we have talked about everything that I and you covered, I accept your apology for the hurt of your letter, NOW will you accept my apology for the terrible way I treated you? I promise to honor not only our friendship but also respect the love you and Jess so clearly have. I don't need an answer tonight, just please think about it, please."

Jess slides next to Rick as they all stand and slowly reaches down for his hand to take into hers, "Kate, one thing I have learned over the last several months is that holding on to anger and hurt, only damage us, it does nothing to the party who inflicted the pain. I'm willing to accept your friendship and apology, PROVIDED, you never do anything to hurt Jess or anyone else I love, and the next time you need a friend, don't try to go it alone, Call Jess or me, we're here for you."

Kate can't stop the tears from falling and grabs Jess, then Rick into a group hug, all the time mumbling, "Thank You Thank You I'm so sorry, "Jess reaches up with a tissue and wipes the tears from Kate's eyes. "Kate, guess you can add me to your friends list now," as she laughs and pulls Kate into a hug.

Rick called the car service not trusting Kate's nerves to take a cab or subway home, and as she left, Jess hugged her and whispered, "Text us when you get home safely, OK?" Kate hugged her back and said "Of Course" The car ride home was one of the most peaceful times Kate had enjoyed in almost a year. She still couldn't believe just how sweet Jess was, not only to Rick, but everyone including her. God knows had the situation been reversed, the claws and traps would have been set at every chance she got.

Jess's phone chirps with a new tone, letting her know of a new text, as she looks down, she see's Kate's number she just added

" _Home Safe, can't believe what a great nite it was, Thanks to you both, xxooKate_

Rick turns to Jess and just kisses her long, deep and passionately as he reads the text over her shoulder, she turns into him taking full advantage of the empty loft and the love she felt for this big-hearted man. Kate was correct, it was a Great Night!

A/N I am going to split this story into segments, and we are nearing the end of Part 1, Kate and Rick are friends again, Jess is in the picture and NOT going anywhere, I am open to your suggestions where you would like to see it go, and remember they are suggestions not directions I have had a lot of fun writing the end of Part 1 and Special Thanks to Matt, the original author who graciously allowed me to take the story and run with it. And Huge thanks to all the readers I have met along the way, I hope I made your time invested in the read worth it, few more chapters then take a short break as I outline Love's Journey 2. As always thanks for reading and reviewing


	37. Chapter 37

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 37**

 **Previously**

Jess slides next to Rick as they all stand and slowly reaches down for his hand to take into hers, "Kate, one thing I have learned over the last several months is that holding on to anger and hurt, only damage us, it does nothing to the party who inflicted the pain. I'm willing to accept your friendship and apology, PROVIDED, you never do anything to hurt Jess or anyone else I love, and the next time you need a friend, don't try to go it alone, Call Jess or me, we're here for you."

Kate can't stop the tears from falling and grabs Jess, then Rick into a group hug, all the time mumbling, "Thank You Thank You I'm so sorry, "Jess reaches up with a tissue and wipes the tears from Kate's eyes. "Kate, guess you can add me to your friends list now," as she laughs and pulls Kate into a hug.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **Next Morning**

Kate rolled over and looked at the clock, she couldn't believe it, she had slept through two alarms and three calls from the precinct. She decided at this point, she would just take a sick day and immediately called Montgomery,

"Sir, I had a very tough night last night and I really don't feel up to coming in today, I'd like to use one of my sick days if that is permissible?

"Well Detective, normally one would call in before or at the start of their shift, not 4 hours into it, but, Sick Day Granted. Oh, by the way I had a great call with Rick, and Detective, it was the right thing to do, he is a good man"

"Yes, Sir he is, I'm just sorry it took the actions it did for me to realize it, but he has offered to help with cases from time to time as his schedule allows, and we are friends again, No one will ever know what I threw away better than I"

"Well Detective speaking of that Demming was sentenced this morning, He got 5 years on the Voyeurism, 15 years on the Distribution of Pornographic material and the DA had a special surprise waiting on him, an additional 30 years for disruption of a City Service and it's officers for causing your time off. All are to be served fully no parole, but the life expectancy of a Cop in Rikers is less than a year. I'm sorry Kate."

"Thanks Sir, but I forgave him, now he pays his penance to someone else and I feel free, not wishing anything bad on anyone but just asking for KARMA to be served" "I can't say I will shed a tear one way or the other, I have other priorities now."

"Kate, take it easy today and when we see you tomorrow I need to ask you to forgive me as well, we need to be back the way it was, OK?"

"You're already forgiven Captain, If Rick can forgive me, I can forgive others and we are good from my end, are you good?

"I'm Good Detective, feel better see you tomorrow, and no more slacking off" he jokes as he hangs up the phone.

Kate walks over to the table, glances at the pad where she had listed here Forgiveness List, and crosses off the last 3 names, Jess, Montgomery, and Castle with two ** by his name. As the pen slashed through the last name, it seemed a weight oh so heavy was lifted off of her and she smiled, for the first time in what seemed forever life was good.

 **Castle's Loft**

 **Same Morning**

Jess rolls over to see two blue eyes staring at her with such a tender look of love she was almost brought to tears, "Rick, are you OK? I love you looking at me, but Sweetie I am getting worried."

"No need to worry Love, just thinking how you have changed not only my life, but all those you have met, Alexis, Kate, the boys, Lanie, and I could go on and on. No one ever loved me enough to get past the houses, bank accounts or black AMEX till you came into our lives. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but God don't change your mind now, I couldn't live without you", as he gently kisses each eye, then sweetly on her lips.

"You know I feel the same about you don't you Rick? A few months ago, it seems I was a lonely lady sitting in a hotel room, totally alone and wondering why I had accepted the job offer, Hell I was so scared of meeting you I thought for sure you would fire me the first week" Rick laughs, as he pulls her on to him and gently rubs her back,

"Never going to happen Jess, you are stuck with me and all the crazy people associated with me" she laughs then reaches up to gently kiss him, something about Jess's kisses she could pour more passion in one kiss, than Rick had felt in the total act from others, guess it was love.

"Are you sure about that Rick, totally positive, you want me in your life?" Rick is wondering where this is going perhaps to when am I going to move in officially or where is my ring, "Sweetie, calm down I'm not looking for a commitment of moving in or engagement ring, not yet anyway," she smiles "You need time to let your heart heal, I mean fully heal and be ready before we head that direction"

"Rick, I have a confession to make, it's a big one so please let me get through this without any questions then I will answer anything you want OK?" Rick is absolutely panic stricken and all he can do is nod his head yes,

"Remember early on in our relationship when I told you about my ex-boyfriend cheating on me with my best friend, and how if I had followed my Mom' advice it would have saved me tons of money?" Rick still in panic Nods again, "Well I left something out, something I didn't feel comfortable sharing then, but now I do, so please I am just going to say this and then we'll talk.

I wrote Guide to Forgiveness under a pen name of J Sebastian Gold as part of my thesis. I never in a million years thought anyone would print it, much less it being the success that it was. When Kate told me, she was using the book, it was too close to US to tell you then, I'm sorry Rick, so Sorry, but I hope you understand" Rick's panic turns into to sheer glee,

"You are the author of the NY Times Best Seller that is used in AA and other agencies nationwide? Jess Why didn't you say something, and why did you apply for the Sr. Project Director's job, you are way overqualified.

Jess is tense then as she see's her smile on Rick's face let's herself relax "You are the author in this relationship Rick, I only wrote it because my shrink forced me to keep a journal and I needed material for a Thesis, so I thought I could kill two birds with one stone. Irony is that the more I wrote the more I could see the techniques were sincere and helping me."

"So how did you come up with the unique pen name you wrote under?" Jess laughs, "You really think it is unique?"

"Well J is for Jess, obviously, Sebastian for my only uncle I can remember, *** "And Gold is your favorite color" Rick interrupts.

"Not even close My Sweet, it was the color of the first car that went by when we knew we needed a pen name to publish, I know really original right?" Jess is laughing so hard she gets the hiccups, making Rick to laugh even harder.

About 10 minutes later, laughter subsided and Jess laying across Rick's chest, "I'm sorry Rick, I wasn't completely honest, but I swear that was the only skeleton in my closet, please forgive me?"

Rick looks down at Jess almost in tears, "Technically it was a lie, BUT after hearing Beckett go on and on about the book I can see why you held it in, but Please Always be honest, completely honest with me not matter what, OK?"

Rick is engulfed in a deep passionate kiss, and hears the word, "Of Course" as they break for air. Who would have thought, Jess a bestselling author of a great book that spurred the friendship renewal of Beckett and Castle?

"Rick, please keep this a secret for us, I don't enjoy the public like you do, and I am done writing, it was a fluke, a good one but still a fluke"

"Of course, Jess, could I ask you one more question before we table this?"

"Sure, what is it?"

How did you handle the press tour when the book was released, I mean if I recall it was an older gentlemen posing and signing autographs at the book signings" Jess answers "Hired a Ghost Writer who couldn't write anything but the name" Once again Rick is howling with laughter, "Yea I saw him at a convention and thought something was up, the guy was clueless,"*** "But Cheap" Jess interrupts

The remainder of the day flew by, with Rick working on the draft of Lost Innocence, the book was scheduled to begin as soon as he was completely free of Black Pawn, which would be in about 4 more months, giving him time to do the book justice.

Jess was reviewing final plans for Alpha Phase 1 of the Lost Innocence Project which was to contain housing for 40 men, and 35 women upon completion. Rick insisted on the woman's accommodations being larger to accommodate Cribs, or juvenile beds if needed, God she love that man for always thinking of the little things.

Both were deep in thought when Eduardo rang that they had a visitor, Jess could hear Paula Hass even without a speaker, "I don't need announcing, I'm his freaking agent, let go of me" as Rick replied, "I'm sorry Eduardo, please show her up". A few moments later the buzzer rang, and Rick and Jess joined hands to open the door, to see a slightly pissed off book agent Paula Haas, on the other side of the door.

"Well ain't this cozy what the hell is going on Ricky, you don't call, you don't respond to emails, and I get manhandled when I try to come and see you, what's with you?"

"Well Paula, your emails said call you, your voice mail said call you, and my security force is simply doing their job by vetting all visitors. You know the final draft was submitted, and approved for Final Heat, which brings to an end to my Black Pawn contract, and technically with you,"*** "Wait a minute Ricky, you still need an agent that has your back regardless of who you sign with, who's going to do that better than me, Huh?"

"Well Paula, I would like to introduce you to Ms. Jessica Hawthorne, the new Executive Vice President of Richard Castle Enterprises, and my personal manager." Jess's mouth is about as wide as Paula's with this announcement, "Ricky you can't be serious, who is this bimbo anyway, she could never mange you like I have,"** "For your information she was the manager of all involved with the NY Times Bestseller Guide for Forgiveness, and if memory is correct it's still on the top 100 list of bestsellers, so I would appreciate an apology to Ms. Hawthorne," Rick Interrupts

Paula has dealt with Rick Castle long enough to know when to shut up, "I'm very sorry Ms. Hawthorne and if there is anything I can do to assist you in transition, please reach out" as she hands her a business card. "Rick the real reason for the visit today was this", as she pulls out the first copy of "Final Heat" and also 5 more promotional copies all bound in beautiful boxes suitable for gifts.

"Thanks Paula, I appreciate the professionalism of Gina even though we are ending our business relationship."

"Gina, Professional? My Ass Paula snorts through her nasal twang, I grabbed these from Rob Lowe, the GM after I threatened to pull two more authors from them"

Rick and Jess both let out a laugh, then Rick gathers Paula into a short hug "Thanks for everything Paula, who know what the future will bring so keep in touch, Good Luck"

Paula knows the golden goose has laid his last egg for her, so she gently hugs Rick, kisses him on the cheek, then hugs Jess,

"Take care of the lug, he can be a handful OK? I still don't want anything to happen to him"

"Oh, believe me I got that covered, and Thanks Paula, keep in touch" Jess states.

Then just as soon as she arrived she was gone, leaving Rick and Jess to their thoughts. "How are you really feeling now that it is over Rick, any regrets?" Jess asks sincerely,

"Actually Angel, just the opposite, I feel so light and free, first the Beckett issue is resolved in a cordial way, and I fully expected Paula to really pitch a fit once I let her know her contract was not renewed." "That surprised me"

"Speaking of surprises Rick, Executive Vice President of Richard Castle Enterprises? When did this come about, not that I don't appreciate it but a little heads up would have saved me from almost choking to death" Jess smiles.

"Jess, we both know you are far too qualified for the Project Director job, so fortunately I had an opening that fit your skills,"

"And that was all the way to VP Rick? Please tell me this is because of skill not me loving you or making love to you"

"Jess, I assure you our personal arrangement had nothing to do with it, you are a freaking Best Seller and know this business inside and out, believe me your talent got you there."

She looks at him, trying to pout, as he is doing the same, both failing miserably and wind up on the couch in another batting practice session as Jess would put it. Bed time would come soon, and they could move on to the real game.

TBC


	38. Chapter 38

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 38**

 **Previously**

"Well Paula, I would like to introduce you to Ms. Jessica Hawthorne, the new Executive Vice President of Richard Castle Enterprises, and my personal manager." Jess's mouth is about as wide as Paula's with this announcement, "Ricky you can't be serious, who is this bimbo anyway, she could never mange you like I have,"** "For your information she was the manager of all involved with the NY Times Bestseller Guide for Forgiveness, and if memory is correct it's still on the top 100 list of bestsellers, so I would appreciate an apology to Ms. Hawthorne," Rick interrupts

 **12** **th** **Precinct**

 **7:00 AM Next Morning**

Kate arrives at the precinct in a much better mental condition than she has in months, gone is the worry of Demming, attorneys, depositions, and at least she can talk to Castle as a friend, not what she would have wanted if she could turn back time, but she will take what she can for now. Montgomery spots her as she is coming out of the breakroom with a cup of coffee, from the new machine, "Good Morning Detective, I trust things are back to normal on all fronts?"

"Good Morning Sir, and yes sir I had a great talk with an old friend and made a new one as well last evening. I don't think you will have to concern yourself with my emotional outbursts any longer Sir."

"Great to hear Kate, you know we were all pulling for you and really felt for what you endured, but as your Captain, I had to maintain a sense of professionalism. I'm glad that you are talking to Rick and Jess, they really do care about you and all of us at the precinct."

"Yes sir, I know, Rick couldn't be mean if his life depended on it, and as much as it pains me to say this, Jess completes him, they both are happy. I have to accept that and be happy for them both."

"Great to hear you say that Kate, I can really believe you are in a good state now, welcome back, and never let that alter ego Kate out of the closet again, that's an order" as he smiles and turns to walk away.

"Yes Sir, she is gone for good sir, Thank You"

Kate is buried in her paperwork as she remotely notices the boys arrive and of course they pick up on she is using Rick's Coffee Machine, "How things going Boss, any changes we should be aware of" Espo risks as Ryan shoots a look of pain his way.

"Well Espo, not that it's any of your business, BUT I'm sure Lanie will fill you in while you are between her sheets anyway, yes Rick, Jess and I have talked and reached a friendship." Ryan is fighting to hold back a laugh as Espo stutters "Wait what do you mean about me and Lanie, you shouldn't be talking like that, it's how rumors get started."

Kate turns to him and smiles like she hasn't in months, "Oh Yea, Ryan what day do you have in the pool? We are all taking bets Espo, over is if you ever get the guts to propose, under is when she tires of your boyish behavior and kicks your ass to the curb, so what's it going to be Macho Man"? Ryan can't hold it in any longer and between his guffaws, mutters "Busted, you are so Busted Bro."

 **Castle's Loft**

 **Same Morning**

Rick is up and has a beautiful breakfast prepared and is just about to put it on the tray to serve Jess in bed when he hears, "Hey Sweetie, don't get me wrong, I love breakfast in bed, but I would rather spend the time there doing more productive things" Jess purrs in her sexy voice almost causing Rick to drop the coffee cup he is holding.

"Good Morning Angel, you were sleeping so well I didn't want to wake you, so I thought I would surprise you with this, you have been so great in supporting me all these months and it seems like I do nothing for you." Rick utters

"Richard Castle, you take that back, right now, how can you even think that? You have turned a lonely young woman into one filled with love, surrounded her with the best things' money can buy, rewarded her by making her part of his family and proves his love each and every day, Rick I love you, more than I could ever express or show" Jess almost cries

Rick gathers her into a hug, and they stand there for a few minutes just lost in the moment till Jess says "Rick, I think the bacon is burning" Rick jumps toward the stove and there is a charred mass that once was the morning breakfast meat he was going to serve. They both break out in deep laughs as Rick turns off the stove, grabs coffee and orange juice with some of Alexis's breakfast bars, places them on the tray and joins Jess on the couch.

"It was a lovely thought Rick, sorry I ruined the moment for us" Jess laughs

"Not important what we eat Jess, just that we spend as much time together as we can now. I know you will be getting very busy with the project kick off, and I am already halfway through the outline of Lost Innocence Draft of the book. I don't want anything to jeopardize the publish of this, so I have to be diligent in working."

"Speaking of books, did you even open the first book, first edition Paula brought over yesterday? I was so tempted to, but I didn't want to break any ritual you might have and bring bad luck" Jess laughs

"No rituals typically the first goes into my book vault, I have to show you that and make sure you know the escape code, it's also our safe room. The next copy goes on my book shelves out here, and I usually give a few away to the precinct. I ordered an extra copy this this year, this one is yours" Rick smiles as he hands her the beautifully bound special edition of "Final Heat".

"Wow, are you sure Rick? I mean I just joined the firm when the book was already 80% complete, don't you want to give it to someone else?"

She is interrupted by a simple "NOPE, I can't I already wrote in it." Jess lays her head on his shoulder and very slowly begins to open the book to the dedication page; her tears fall like rain before she is even half way through what he had written.

The dedication stands out in bold italics and reads"

 _ **This book, it's efforts and lessons learned are dedicated to all the men and women of the 12**_ _ **th**_ _ **precinct, who without it this would not be possible. To: Captain Montgomery, KB, KR, JE, and LP, Thank You. Also, a very special dedication to Jess, who breathed life into a dying soul, you have my love forever, RC.**_

Rick had written below in his handwriting, " _ **To my soul mate, my love, my life, may today be just one of many we enjoy together, I love you Always, Rick**_

Jess is now sitting on Rick's lap on the couch, sniffling "The dedication is beautiful Rick, but I don't how Gina let you publish the book with it, kinda destroys the playboy and Bachelor #9 persona doesn't it?"

"That's the beauty of having great attorneys negotiate your contracts, I contain all content rights regardless, their only option was to Not publish the book which would have cost a lot of people's jobs."

"Rick, you said you gave away the remaining copies, who are you giving the last two copies to?"

Rick responds immediately, "Captain Montgomery and Kate".

Jess smiles through watery eyes, "I was hoping you were going to say that. You are probably going to want to add another copy for Lanie, she has done so much for us, if you agree"

"Oh my gosh you are right," as he picks up his cell phone and types a furious text, then smiles and says "Done, Thanks Angel, always keeping me honest" "I'll take the shelf copy and use the additional one to replace it, God help us with a pissed off Lanie"

Jess seems a little uneasy almost like she is holding back, and finally Rick says, "OK Jess out with it, you have been squirming for the last hour, Did I do something or what is it Hun?"

"Would you mind if I came with you to the precinct to deliver Kate and Roy's books?" "I don't want to impede but I want Kate to feel comfortable around us and her friends without having to explain everything to them"

"That's a great idea, I know everyone is on shift today so let's do it in about an hour, and Jess? I'll BUY you breakfast this time" as they both break out in laughter.

 **12** **th** **Precinct**

 **One hour Later**

Kate is deep in thought, the boys are on their way back from a canvass, and Captain Montgomery is lost in budget figures trying to figure out how to do the impossible with this budget. No one hears the ding of the elevator or the two occupants who get off and stroll towards Kate's desk. Rick has hushed the crowd by simply holding a finger to his lips indicating Quiet to those gathered in the bull pen. Kate thinks to herself, "that smell, that's Castle", but she is convinced not to keep chasing shadows, she killed that and it's best if she be happy for him just the way things were.

Suddenly a cup form Java Joes appears in front of her, but wait that wasn't Rick's hand, she looks up to see a smiling Jess, "Good Morning Kate, Rick said you could never get enough coffee so we thought we would bring you a good cup"

Kate stands and is immediately pulled into an embrace by first Jess, then a slightly looser one by Rick, just in time as the boys reach their desks with moths open and in total shock. "Good Morning Kate, I have something for you, but I need to talk to Roy for a minute, be right back" Rick booms as he walks to the Captains' Office.

"Good morning Jess, this is such a surprise and so sweet, you didn't have to do this, but I'm glad you did"

"We were passing right by it and Rick mentioned your love of coffee, believe me I can relate, so we just got a friend a cup and brought it to her"

"Jess, I don't know how you do it, but I promise you I will never do anything to damage your relationship with Rick, I'm just so thankful we can be friends again. God knows I don't deserver it, but oh so thankful"

"I know you won't do anything Kate; besides I trust Rick and I know that if he ever did anything if the guilt didn't kill him, Lanie would help me burry the body" as they both laugh, causing the boys even more concern since they can't hear what is going on.

Both look in the direction on Montgomery's office and see Rick and Roy shaking hands, and Roy proudly displaying the book on his shelf of honor. They exchange a few more words, then end in a man hug and Rick is on his way back to the ladies.

"Sorry about that, but Rank has it's privileges, Jess will you do the honors please?" Rick asks as she reaches into her bag and pulls out the gift box containing "Final Heat".

"Guys, this is so lovely I am almost afraid to open it, you shouldn't have, especially after what I put ***** "None of that Kate Beckett," Jess scolds as she takes her hand, "Forgiveness is a gift, never return it, please"

Kate is fumbling with the paper, with tears pooling in her eyes, then she see's it, and it hits her, **FINAL HEAT** , it's over, really over and now the tears fall freely. Rick quietly hands her the handkerchief he always seems to have at just the right moment in time, "you should know me well enough by now Detective, the ending is not always as you would guess" he comforts her.

Kate opens the book so reverently, and slowly turns to the acknowledgement page,

 _ **This book, it's efforts and lessons learned are dedicated to all the men and women of the 12**_ _ **th**_ _ **precinct, who without it this would not be possible. To: Captain Montgomery, KB, KR, JE, and LP, Thank You. Also, a very special dedication to Jess, who breathed life into a dying soul, you have my love forever, RC.**_

She is almost afraid to open her eyes but somehow manages to read the print and is not surprised by the special note given to Jess. She is surprised that Rick acknowledged her at all, since the boys had done most of the work with him. She is hurt for just a moment, but as she looks down Jess is still holding her hand, and whispering to her, it's OK Kate, we all are OK.

She then realizes that whoever wrote "If you love someone let them go, if they return they are yours, if not they never were was so full of shit, but at least she had part of him. She then realizes that Rick had also personally added a note,

 _ **Kate,**_

 _ **Thanks for the memories, without you I would still be lost in a world full of lost souls. Please find something to laugh at or with, yours is far to beautiful a sound to be muted,**_

 _ **AFA**_

 _ **Rick**_

Kate glances up and catches Rick's eyes, "Thanks Rick, I will treasure this and the gift you and Jess have given so freely, please check in with us, you know your crazy theories have solved a lot of cases," as she smiles a sad but honest smile.

As Jess and Rick make their rounds Kate places the wrapping paper, card, and little name tag in her drawer, it will be transferred to her Forever Box soon, but she needs to see it for a little longer. The elevator dings, and Kate knows this chapter has closed forever, but who knows what the future brings, she can now look forward to it at least a bit.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **2:00 AM Next Day**

Kate was sitting on her bed, legs up box of tissues, glass of wine, and Final Heat on her lap as she turned to the last chapter. She was fully expecting a blowout scene where Rook and Nikki have a knock down drag out battle to end things forever, as he catches her with a Detective, but as always Rick has surprised her.

The end scene was beautiful and bittersweet, Rick had written Rook re-called to active duty in the Marines, not sure of his fate had released Nikki to seek a love. She dated a few men including a Detective in Robbery, but decided she would wait, nothing better once you've had the best.

Kate closed the book, and gently placed the last momentous from earlier in the Forever Box, and gently said "Good Night Rick, I'll always love you, till we meet again, stay safe my love" as she turned and once again cried herself to sleep.

A/N This is the conclusion of Part 1 of Love's Journey, I would love to hear your thoughts where you would like Part 2 to go, I do have a story outline, but welcome input. Thanks to each and every one who has read, reviewed, messaged me or offered encouragement in anyway, it's been fun. Look for part 2 coming soon. Tim


	39. Chapter 39

Love's Journey

 **Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author**

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author **The Muse of Apollo** , following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Final Author's Notes**

I would like to thank Matt, AKA The Muse of Apollo for kindly allowing me to continue a story he began, I hope I did it justice Matt, Huge Thanks for the help with the site as well.

Several people have been so kind along the way, I won't mention names in order not to slight anyone but please know I valued each of your input. For the guests I could not respond to Thank You, even if you disagreed with a point, it caused me to think and challenge myself on what I was writing for the truth. I also truly appreciated the reviews that backed me when I called out trolls, many comments were deleted, and for the life of me I still cannot fathom investing time to read 31 chapters of a book, then deciding it wasn't for me, oh well different strokes I guess.

What to look for next will be a new story, Love's Journey 2 which picks up right after this one, with only a minimum time gap if any. We wouldn't see Alexis or Martha, only in perhaps short clips since this story is about two lovers' journey. Paula is gone, and Gina will only make as much a presence as she did in the TV series, new characters are being developed. We will see Jess take charge of the homeless shelter construction, hopefully it is completed in this story, and Rick completes his story Lost Innocence under a pseudo name, Alex Richards.

As for Kate, she will be here, perhaps in a surprising role, and the rest of the precinct will appear as necessary. I welcome ideas from my readers, but please remember, I will decide what finally goes into this or the next story. This series looks like 3, possibly 4 separate stories including the original.

If you enjoy please Follow, Favor and drop even the briefest of comments, they are the fuel to us Keyboard Junkies sitting pounding keys for hours on end,

Thanks

Tim


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